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Thread : Question on ADD  
27 Dec 2009 @ 9:01 AM
whitelight Join Date: Sun 27th Dec 2009
Threads: 2 Posts: 0
Question on ADD

Hi I thought I would join this forum just to get some answers.My child whom is 9 nearly 10 has not been Diagnosed with anything,but for years now I have tried to get someone to help me with him.He can be the sweetest child at times and can be really kind( not often) but sometimes,Ok first question do ALL kids with ADD play up in school as the teachers say he is good in school ,but sometimes he tries to tell them what they should be doing or dobs but apart from that he is pretty good, He has terrible handwriting unless he tries really hard and also when it somes to homework i struggle to get him to do it and usually give up,then the night it is due he panics and does it late at night, or early in the morning or tries to get me to write a note.?My chid can be nasty,hits and kicks latey when his siblings annoy him, has raised his fist to me,Very intimidating to his sisters can cry often over anything and I mean overreaction winges often all the time. My mum and other people often wont have him because they know he is hyper and runs around the house in panic sometimes if doesn't get his own way, once his mind is set on something he freaks out literally if he doesn't do it,and this is like panic when he freaks out like he can't control.He Will watch a movie but moves around and talks through it often pretending he is one of the characters with most movies.he can play playstation if i would let him for hours and does panic if it is time to turn it off.Is over social with friends and gets annoying.He sits for dinner but often gets up and sits on his legs when we are in the car or at the table This is just some stuff,I have seen the school counsellor but because he was ok in class this is probably "just his personality" I worry about when he is a teenager, I tried getting help with health services but they said he was not bad enough to worry about and to see parenting help.I know this is not a parenting problem others see it too not just family but friends notice how he acts, .Even when I get cranky at him and tell him to get to his room ,i just get a cranky look.and this is embarresing he sometmes yells out" don't hurt me freaking out and runs to his room screaming at the top of his lungs we are worries someone will think we are trying to hurt him,and we have never hurt him , or if he feels he has let us down he will sometimes say i wish i could kill myself I am sorry mum (this is not too often he says this thankfully) but we are good parents and know this is not normal so I just wanted oppinions please,If i am in the wrong place that is ok just didn't know what to do.I have yet to see my doctor but if everyone else turns me away they probably will too. Any help or advice would be greatly appreciated.Thankyou for your time

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Last edited by whitelight : 27 Dec 2009 @ 9:53 AM. Reason:
30 Dec 2009 @ 11:40 AM Reply # 1
Surprizladyangie Join Date: Wed 25th Nov 2009
Threads: 0 Posts: 1
whitelight......re: question on ADD

So much of what you said about your son sounds like my daughter. She just turned 9 in December and is was diagnosed ADHD hyperactive at the age of 6 in the 1st grade. She does not hit though but is very emotional as you described and is one of the most caring children I have met. She began to struggle with reading and school work in the 1st grade and was falling behind yet had always been a leader in the classroom up until that time. You could ask your pediatrician for a Conner's rating scale for rating your son. I would strongly suggest you and your son talk to the pediatrician and if they are unable to help they can always refer you to a doctor that can handle. We started there and have been receiving excellent care from our pediatrician. It was a struggle as I began asking questions as you have. I know from my experience that unless the academics are effected it can be harder to get help though...Good Luck.

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1 Jan 2010 @ 7:09 AM Reply # 2
whitelight Join Date: Fri 1st Jan 2010
Threads: 0 Posts: 4
Thankyou and any advice is always appreciated

I appreciate your response,I was also going to say his maths is fairly good, but his writing is suffering and stuff like that. But he is good for his teachers and tries hard at school to be good i think,but once he is out of there and comes over to me after school he usually doesn't listen well and is on the go and bratty. I am going to a doctor this week and hopefully she will listen to me and refer me to someone,It is just hard because i am not sure what i am even suppose to say to her,i have been writing things down on paper,My mum suggested i should try and hide a video camera and tape some stuff to show the doctor so she can see some eppisodes as well,Without him knowing .It is just getting to the stage that he is often uncontrollable, I am not expecting anyone on here to diagnose him for me I just want to know I am on the right track and others have children similar.I am so angry at the people at school and health people that have not listened to me.One health person I pleaded for help just said it is probably his personality and he is not bad enough for us to see him. He now again has started snorting all the time which is very annoying when trying to watch movies.Actually now I think of it it is when watching movies or in the car,Does anyone elses child do this sort of thing.When he was little he used to blink alot and a few years ago used to copy people on tv which has stopped as well or repeat things,although the health lady said"this is what children do sometimes"great help. Anyway I am now reading more here and feel it sounds more like adhd or add and i would never try to guess so he will be hopefully assessed in the not to far future hopefully .. he has.and he is kicking and hurting his sister more lately and cousins when they annoy him or he is cranky. and finds choices very hard and literally panics over having to choose between 2 things, this is where he seems very anxious ,Anyway thankyou and any advice is always greatly appreciated still. Hopefully this week coming the doctor will help me help him. Thankyou again Nicole

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Last edited by whitelight : 1 Jan 2010 @ 7:12 AM. Reason:
5 Feb 2010 @ 7:50 PM Reply # 3
Debdo Join Date: Sat 10th Oct 2009
Threads: 0 Posts: 2
Don't give up

The same behavior's you discribe sound very similar to my son, all except the hyperactivity. After struggling for 13 years I've finally gotten the help I needed all along. NO ONE understood how difficult he could be. He would rage in his car seat and when I would pull the car over bystanders will look (no glare) at me and lean into the car and ask him if he was ok. I questioned everything, my parenting skills, his diet, was it just his temperment, genes, you name it. I could never get an answer. Eventually, I peace mealed together a bunch of different tools that I interchanged often, depending on what was that day's situation. Read what ever material you can on raiseing a challenging child. The techniques you'll learn will be very helpful. I finally found out that he is inattentive add with odd. I wish I had known that much sooner, because there is much you can do to retrain the brain, set up good habits by having household rules, knowing when and how to pick your battles, etc. I could go on and on. The main thing is to know that it's not bad parenting.

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5 Feb 2010 @ 9:38 PM Reply # 4
eabeam Join Date: Tue 12th Jan 2010
Threads: 0 Posts: 97
Different way to frame the question...

Let's take a different perspective.

#1 - Do you need a label for it? First, how much does functioning appear to be impaired? You don't necessarily need a label to try something like a social skills class. How much improvement do interventions create?

#2 - So many things can look like ADHD, you really do not want to ask, "Does this look like ADHD?" If you are asking, it probably does look like ADHD, but looking like it does not mean it is. Anxiety, diabetes, hyperthyroid, and Asperger's are a few things that look like ADHD, but are not.

ADHD is a diagnosis of exclusion. We do not ask if is ADHD. We line up every other alternative explanation, then we see if we can reasonably knock each alternative explanation down. When every other explanation is considered and disproved, then, and only then, can we consider ADHD.

It may not be as quick of an answer, but I would rather do it right than do it over.

Sometimes, a misdiagnosis is just an issue of semantics. Other times, it may mean we are missing a more serious diagnosis.

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Last edited by eabeam : 5 Feb 2010 @ 9:39 PM. Reason: misspelled word.
23 Jun 2010 @ 6:57 AM Reply # 5
whitelight Join Date: Fri 1st Jan 2010
Threads: 0 Posts: 4
Eabeam

Hi Eabeam, I didn't realize this post was here to reply to,Thankyou for your advice. Sorry it is so late, I am seeing a Psychologist for him right now,since the last post.

Firstly, No I do not need a label this is not why I went to the psychologist or asked for the help , And as other parents know it is not getting the label that always matters , it is having someone else that doesn't know you finally say "Hey you are not a hopeless parent and yes there are problems I can help you with", without people always saying " No I cannot help you",Or go to parenting classes like it is a disapline problem and this has happened over the phone without even meeting him which makes me so mad .

I do not want to Medicate him or have a label stuck to him if it is not needed I just want the chance like others to have someone else stand back and believe me other then my family and give me strategies to help Him get through any problems and show me how to do this with him before he gets into highschool and maybe then doesn't cope as well. .

I know he has Anxiety as I deal with this everytime something is coming up he is nervous about, so Yes I think Anxiety is one of his problems or maybe even the problem thatmakes it look like other problems. He also has some minor tics that also could be from his Anxiety as well.

I am also not going to just accept her diagnosis without her getting to know him more first and see some of the problems I am talking about, I don't think she should be able to diagnose him just with my reports.

Anyway thankyou for your reply, I will talk any advice I get,as I am always open to advice to help. Regards Nicole

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23 Jun 2010 @ 11:49 AM Reply # 6
eabeam Join Date: Tue 12th Jan 2010
Threads: 0 Posts: 97
Update?

Sorry, I did not mean to make unnecessary assumptions.

As I re-read the thread, it look like I was answering more to what I generally see when asked that question... not necessarily to your specifics. (which would be impossible to do in one little internet post anyway.)

Regardless, how are things going?

http://askdreric-schoolpsychologist.blogspot.com/

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24 Jun 2010 @ 7:05 AM Reply # 7
whitelight Join Date: Fri 1st Jan 2010
Threads: 0 Posts: 4
Eabeam

Hi ,I hope you don't feel I was getting uptight thinking you made too many assumptions,I just figured I better explain ,It is hard to write a post without people taking it the wrong way,because when reading them you take it however you feel it sounds at the time,At the moment we are due to go back to the Psycologist on tuesday so I will know more then ,I am only doing it fortnightly as the cost can be high, But I do feel anxiety is a problem that needs to be solved for him.Anyway thankyou for any advice I always take it onboard as I know others have answers and advice that don't always suit but try to help how they can on this board. So thankyou again.I will post more soon. Regards Nicole

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19 Aug 2010 @ 10:38 PM Reply # 8
Stephanie Join Date: Mon 16th Aug 2010
Threads: 1 Posts: 7
I know its kinda late but...

If your son has not been properly diagnosed ... or where ever he now stands... you should try giving him Fish Oil ...

It has been used increasingly as a natural enhancer or substitute to many disorders especially ADHD / ADD and Bipolar [but also for others]. If nothing else, it is great for the skin and hair.

It may be worth a shot.

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