Be an advocate for yourself and child

When your cup is empty it cannot flow into the lives of others. Keep your cup filled up and get all the rest, exercise, joy, and support you can. It is not selfish, but oh so very necessary! My daughter is 30 now. She was DX with ADD and oppositional behavior at 11. I was told by friends and pastors not to medicate her but to be a strong disciplinarian with her. I also went to a church that believed in spiritual warfare, and it taught me how to pray for her as if her behavior was from the evil one. It did look that way at the time, but even though prayer helped, it only backed fired on me later when she told people I was trying to cast the devil out of her. That hurt my career as a nurse and family relationships. My mother inlaw even disinherrited us! Our daughter now has a soon to be 8 year old son who has the same diagnosis. He is a sweet little boy who is also run by impulses, lack of attention, and a strong desire to be difient. His dad, a state trooper, does not believe in ADD and refuses this boy medication. The boy just gets in trouble a lot when dad gets on him. Oh course the dad hates me and blames the way his wife and son are on me. His wife is not medicated, and still spends and eats uncontrolably. She talks a hundred miles per hour and is always overwired. She states she can't control her self. Her husband makes her exercise in front of him and he keeps money from her so she can't get fast food. However, she ran up 10,000 dollors on credit cards to hide her spending on food and impulsive stuff for her likes. Our 2nd and youngest child does not have ADD, but was severely affected by the strife we had in our home. She tried to be the really good child, but when she turned 18 she went wild and rebelled. She is still in rebellion at 28 and hates us too. She even had 2 of her guys attack me. One almost killed me at an ice skating rink by tripping me. I have neck and spine issues now and always will due to that. Her new husband attacked me recently and said all kinds of untrue hateful things to me and put me into a state of shock. I can't stop crying. If only I would have gotten my oldest daughter the medication and help that she needed many years ago, life would make more sense and we would all have more peace. I was only 18 when she was born, and I was young and dumb. But please do not deny ADD or ADHD. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Just like a person who has diabetes. if medication helps, try it. If it seems too strong for the child, let the MD cut it back and gradually increase. Many people who have ADD are sensitive to medications. They sometimes need lower doses to start with. If the MD fights you on that, find another who will work with you. You know your child better than anyone else. I sometimes still go to CHAD meetings. I recommend them for support. Most of us do or did the best we could with the resourses we had. Life in this category is hell and never easy. many ups and downs. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and do not let others judge you till they walked a mile in your shoes! Remember it is ADD/ADHD that gets beteewn you and your child. Not you or the child.

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