I understand how you feel. Our issues are not exactly the same, but we have been at our wits end feeling as if there were no where to turn. My husband and I both are ADD/ADHD, so when our daughter showed the signs at a very your age I tried to be very diligent to start off on the right foot. By the time she was 3, she showed many signs of ADHD and ODD. We tried everything and were very consistent with the disipline, but nothing seemed to worked. Even the books on Strong Willed Children had very little to offer us for help. Then our prayers were answered. We found a family counselor that helped us with our specific problems. He believed in consistent, firm and loving techniques and we were able to get advice for very specific discipline problems. It was parenting coaching. It also helped my husband and I to be on the same page with our expectations from her and each other. I started keeping a journal for many reasons, but mainly to be able to remember exactly what happened and how we reacted. When we would go to our apt., it wasn't my husband and I playing the blame game, it was an exact account of what happened. There were no right and wrongs, we were there to learn. He was wonderful at explaining to us what happened and why. That way we could learn to resolve the situations our self. It was priceless to have someone give us techniques tailor made for our daughter and her personality. We also made some diet changes for our daughter that seemed to have helped as well. It was hard, but so worth it. God entrusted these amazing children to us because he knows we are the best parents for them. They have so much to offer this world and it is our job to give them the tools they need to do it. If you are interested in any of the diet change information, I will be glad to pass it on.

Hang in there!

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Firstly dont blame yourself. You cant be with your child 24/7. Even children without ADHD wander off because they have seen something far more interesting. Whilst the dangers of the situation were apparent, you are not a bad parent. I think this time it was a case of being an inquisitive child following his impulsivity. My daughter has not yet run off anywhere but she is older now and I can remember those days of not knowing what she was thinking or going to do at a moments notice. Try and sit your child down and discuss what happened and get them to tell you what the dangers they faced when they decided to wander off. Get him to think about what he did was wrong and to tell you about it and to explain what he is going to do the next time he gets the urge to run off. With my daughter, if I lectured her about her impulsivity she would shut down and go into her own little world. Yes it is scary, but take a deep breath. You will be fine, your child will be fine and I keep my fingers crossed that your son learns from this experience

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My daughter has recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and although I have suspected something just wasn't right for sometime having the diagnosis has created both relief and anxiety as well. I too am exhausted, I pray for peace in my home and in our relationship. I have a beautiful, extremely intelligent daughter and it is difficult because others don't see the other side. The arguments, not wanting to listen, the meltdows, only wanting to do what she wants or when she wants....she has several friends in our neighborhood and like your son doesn't realize the safety concerns of wondering the neighborhood. This often causes fights because she wants to go here or there, and unfortunately there are bad people out there who harm children but how do you explain this to your child?? We are going to start intuniv and see if it will help, but I am scared to put her on medications-although I know that she needs it. She is 8 and for the first time I have seen her challenged at school, third grade is quite a change. I too am glad that this site allows us to interact with others going thru the same situations as we are. Hopefully we can provide tips, and encourage each other. I wish you the best.

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DaveandDeidre said: I understand how you feel. Our issues are not exactly the same, but we have been at our wits end feeling as if there were no where to turn. My husband and I both are ADD/ADHD, so when our daughter showed the signs at a very your age I tried to be very diligent to start off on the right foot. By the time she was 3, she showed many signs of ADHD and ODD. We tried everything and were very consistent with the disipline, but nothing seemed to worked. Even the books on Strong Willed Children had very little to offer us for help. Then our prayers were answered. We found a family counselor that helped us with our specific problems. He believed in consistent, firm and loving techniques and we were able to get advice for very specific discipline problems. It was parenting coaching. It also helped my husband and I to be on the same page with our expectations from her and each other. I started keeping a journal for many reasons, but mainly to be able to remember exactly what happened and how we reacted. When we would go to our apt., it wasn't my husband and I playing the blame game, it was an exact account of what happened. There were no right and wrongs, we were there to learn. He was wonderful at explaining to us what happened and why. That way we could learn to resolve the situations our self. It was priceless to have someone give us techniques tailor made for our daughter and her personality. We also made some diet changes for our daughter that seemed to have helped as well. It was hard, but so worth it. God entrusted these amazing children to us because he knows we are the best parents for them. They have so much to offer this world and it is our job to give them the tools they need to do it. If you are interested in any of the diet change information, I will be glad to pass it on.

Hang in there!

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This is the first time I have ever been to this website... and I am in tears right now. I have an 8 year old son wo has a very severe case of ADHD and some anxiety disorder (the doctors are constantly changing his diagnosis). I am to the point where I just don't know what to do anymore. He is very impulsive and can get very violent. I have another son who is 4, and now 3 step daughters as well. His behavior is so bad somedays... I have seriously thought about granting full custody to his father. I love him very much, but I just don't know what I can for him. I am constantly stressed out and tense, and I hate being that way. I don't like being angry, and I know that I probably shouldn't be, but I can't help it. This is causing a lot of stress on my new marriage. I feel like the worse mother in the world...but I am so tired of crying and feeling unloved and disrespected!! Please someone.... give me some inspiration!!!

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I dont have answers (hoping to find some here), but deal with a lot of similar issues... Our 8 year old son was recently diagnosed. We had always knew he had impulse control problems (clapping or singing in inappropriate situations, crying at the slightest setback or when something minor would not go his way), but only this past summer could we put our finger on it and get him tested for ADHD. He is mostly a sweet kid, and seems to act up only at home. Thank goodness school behavior is not a problem, and he makes friends relatively easily. But the impulse issues at times almost destroy our home. He especially has trouble dealing with his 5 year old brother. His main issues are screeching at such a high pitch when frustrated it just drives us crazy, or crying almost hysterically when something doesnt go his way... last night was a perfect example of this - he had decided he wanted someone to lay in bed with him the entire night. I usually lie down with him for a few minutes as he is going to sleep, but when I left, he just lost it, screaming, crying, screeching, out of control. Luckily he did not wake the other kids up - but my wife and I just felt completely helpless. There is no talking to him once he gets out of control, often no way to bring him down. The response is completely disproportionate to an appropriate behavior, and very hard to deal with. Just explaining it doesnt do justice to the frustration, anger, helpless yet heartbroken feelings we have when this happens, which is far too often....

Unfortunately, the tone of our house depends on what kind of mood he is in and how impusive he might be on a given day. Are there other resources out there about dealing with the impulsivity?

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We have found the only way we can control our 7 year old son's dangerously impulsive behavior is through medication. Finding the right medicine to use and the right dose is a challenge. We found a good child psychiatrist in our area and his knowledge of medications has helped us. If the medicine has worn off or he hasn't taken it we have to watch him very closely. He can go from normal to crazy in a second. Although I am so tired of parenting books that cannot help my situation I just started reading From Chaos to Calm. So far I think it is a good resource. There is just no simple answer for dealing with ADHD children. I wish you relief and wish there wasn't so many of us dealing with these issues but glad we have each other to talk to.

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ebs0303 said: I dont have answers (hoping to find some here), but deal with a lot of similar issues... Our 8 year old son was recently diagnosed. We had always knew he had impulse control problems (clapping or singing in inappropriate situations, crying at the slightest setback or when something minor would not go his way), but only this past summer could we put our finger on it and get him tested for ADHD. He is mostly a sweet kid, and seems to act up only at home. Thank goodness school behavior is not a problem, and he makes friends relatively easily. But the impulse issues at times almost destroy our home. He especially has trouble dealing with his 5 year old brother. His main issues are screeching at such a high pitch when frustrated it just drives us crazy, or crying almost hysterically when something doesnt go his way... last night was a perfect example of this - he had decided he wanted someone to lay in bed with him the entire night. I usually lie down with him for a few minutes as he is going to sleep, but when I left, he just lost it, screaming, crying, screeching, out of control. Luckily he did not wake the other kids up - but my wife and I just felt completely helpless. There is no talking to him once he gets out of control, often no way to bring him down. The response is completely disproportionate to an appropriate behavior, and very hard to deal with. Just explaining it doesnt do justice to the frustration, anger, helpless yet heartbroken feelings we have when this happens, which is far too often....

Unfortunately, the tone of our house depends on what kind of mood he is in and how impusive he might be on a given day. Are there other resources out there about dealing with the impulsivity?

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I feel for you. I understand what you are going through and how you feel. My 7 year old son had a lot of anger and rage. We were told children who are depressed show it as anger. Our son takes an anti depressant, attends a social skills class at school every day where they learn about expressing feelings and anger management. We worked with him on techniques to calm down every day. This has helped him. This is the one area we have seen the biggest improvement in over the last year. I hope you find a good doctor who specializes in ADHD. Having a child with behavior problems is so stressful on a marriage. I hope you get some relief soon.

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tyjenn said: This is the first time I have ever been to this website... and I am in tears right now. I have an 8 year old son wo has a very severe case of ADHD and some anxiety disorder (the doctors are constantly changing his diagnosis). I am to the point where I just don't know what to do anymore. He is very impulsive and can get very violent. I have another son who is 4, and now 3 step daughters as well. His behavior is so bad somedays... I have seriously thought about granting full custody to his father. I love him very much, but I just don't know what I can for him. I am constantly stressed out and tense, and I hate being that way. I don't like being angry, and I know that I probably shouldn't be, but I can't help it. This is causing a lot of stress on my new marriage. I feel like the worse mother in the world...but I am so tired of crying and feeling unloved and disrespected!! Please someone.... give me some inspiration!!!

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