Perhaps the reason for the lack of effort or follow through is that there are too many trying to help or offer suggestions. Where's the breathing room? Unless the person gets a chance to just breath and have a little space there will not be a move forward.

If a person is too stressed out or pushed into directions without a moments pause then there will be trouble with studies, life, and other areas. Typical teens need space and whether they have ADHD or not still need to be their own individual. How about trying to set up a day where he plans everything for the fun of getting out as a family? Let their interests show you possible paths of career or education that you can help build on.

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I didn't mean to imply that all these things were tried at the same time. This has been an ongoing process spanning about three years. Clearly, after seeing how he did with meds, his organizational skills need some type of help. His grades reflect the lack of organization as he will do well, and then bomb out from missing homework or forgetting to study for a test. Your point is well taken. I lean toward being 'task oriented'. Perhaps I should try just talking with him more and seeing if he comes up with an idea on his own. He tends toward the 'hide my head in the sand and maybe it'll go away" type of behavior. Clearly none of my suggestions have won him over or proven useful to him. I have let him regulate his computer/video gaming/TV and bedtime this year....he is 16 after all. When he starts to slip with important stuff...esp. taking his meds (he also has epilepsy, so he MUST be organized or he can't drive) I have to intervene. I guess I'm hoping he will just find something that will help him with the frustration of his schoolwork. It's hard to see him just deflate when he sees those Ds on the report card.

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My 15-year old son, a 9th-grader, fits the same description. He is bright and can ace his tests, then he blows it by not handing in assignments. He has a 504 plan, but much of it is based on his self-advocacy: keeping an agenda, asking teachers to check it, staying for tutorials. We offer him this and other help, but he is interested in none of it. He is making Bs and Cs, while he is smart enough to get straight As.

I am inclined to think that this is the person he is, and that we all must accept that. He may be in for some tough lessons as he encounters more difficult challenges later in his life, but for now we can help little until he first wants to help himself.

I am more focused on getting him to accept his responsibilities around the house, such as doing his chores.

- tom

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Our 15 year old boy, refuses to take meds because he says they mak him 'not like himself' and get squite emotional over the topic.

Trouble is, he is avoiding homework assignments, extra help offered by teachers, and tells us he has no homework when infact the teachers tell us differently - afterwards... We have attended ADHD parenting sessions, read books, talked to counsellors, etc to gain a better understanding of some of the challenges ADHD presents for the person who has to live with it, to beter equip us with good decision making tools.

Whether school work, everyday picking up around the house, or needing to have a different meal than whats being coked for diner, we strugle with the sensitive balance of ADHD vs. 'teenager' tendancies... Yes, there is a time for guidance, and a time for leeting them fall to learn some lessons - when is the right time for either....

Some thoughts/concerns... 'Old Smokey'

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I was diagnosed w/ ADD in 3rd grade and been on meds ever since. Thanks be to God, my two older sisters set the academic standards for me and I felt stupid in comparison so I tried twice as hard to make the same grades. I am looking at entering a monastery within the next few years but most of them would not take me without a college degree. I could have done the old community-transfer [which is fine for some] but I knew I wanted more [having 2 older sisters @ UCLA... I wanted something more].

Medication can only do so much and in order to be truly successful he will probably have to eliminate videogames and tv during the week in order to make proper time for his school work. [My senior I had to skip out on several family activities too in order to study for my AP classes... ADD teens should definitely study more]. It can be very hard to motivate a teen... he must find something he likes and make it his goal. For me, I placed a little saint statue on my desk and a framed picture of Jesus pinned to my cork board so when I was doing my work and I got distracted, I was immediately reminded of WHY it was so important for me to do it. No work or study = no college = no monastery = no future = no hope. My mom would check in on me now and then too.

Have him start his school work RIGHT when he gets home [when his medication hasn't worn off yet], and allow him to take a small 5 -10 minute break every hour or two [At one time I had 4 AP classes in one year ... this was my personal method] and give him post-its on his desk so that when his mind begins to wander during study sessions or homework he can quickly write down whatever it is he has remembered and get back on task [for ex. bring history book in morning or math exam Friday study].

Using these little methods [and hanging out with all the AP kids] I graduated this past year in the Valedictorian Circle.

I have often found that parents and teens with ADD often make too many excuses as to why they fall short [don't get me wrong!!! be understanding and realize that your son is constantly struggling with himself! He realistic in your goals and expectations of him but help him to dream big too!]

I will begin studying Religious Studies at UCSD in about a month. I have ADD I am proof that your son and anyone like me can do it! [it may not be easy but it is possible!] Good luck with him... I wish you both the best.

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