First of all it's not your fault that your child has ADD. So there is no need to feel like you have failed as a mothers. Second, lets take it step by step. If you child is falling behind in school. Medication is a good route to take. I have had my daugther on Stretta and now she takes Adderall. You can also try some vitamins and fish oil with the medication, This magazine has some great articles on talking to the teachers, and ways to get your child organized. Remember is a process, there is no magic cure. There are very useful tools like to do lists, assignment sheets, etc. If your child is falling behind in school, they can provide tutorials and special accomadations. You are not alone. This is just new to you.

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Welcome to ADDitude. If you spend some time in the forums and reading the articles, you will learn that you are not alone and you are not a failure. The best thing you can do is educate yourself about ADHD and parenting ADHD children.

Maybe start here and see where it leads. Understanding Your ADHD Diagnosis

About ADHD Children: ADHD Diagnosis and Treatment

Hope this helps, Dena

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I'm new too and completely overwhelmed with information. My son is 7 with ADD and I feel like there's so much information out there! I'm a voracious reader and have read quite a bit thusfar. I'll keep an eye on your post and maybe we can both get help!! haha

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The best thing you can do for yourself is to understand that your child's school, teachers and doctors are part of the team. You cannot help your daughter alone, nor should you try. You will just exhaust yourself. As one of the other posters said, remember this is a process. Sometimes, you get lucky and find the right medicine and accomodations from the get-go, but most of the time it's trial and error. The first thing to do is to assure yourself and your daughter that there is hope and help for both of you. You both need to understand and continue telling yourselves that this is not your fault, or a result of anything you did or didn't do. Your daughter is special, and it will take the two of you working together, along with your team of supporters, to find the best way to do things. The most important lesson, however, is to remember to take time for yourself as you learn more about this disorder and how to help your daughter. I have every confidence that with your help, she will succeed!

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1-You are not alone. 2.-As another mom said- the school, and you are a team. 3-Educate yourself so that you can educate your daughter, your family and when needed, the public at large. 4-Take a deep breath and go day by day. 5-This is not your fault 6-You now know what is going on so you can help your daughter and reach out for help. 7-I save all of my emotional energy for my family. I no longer get made at the grocery store or while in traffic. It just is not worth it. 8- Medication makes things better for everyine. It gives your chiold a fighting chance! Just as you would not deny a child with diabetes insulin, you might not want to skip the meds. It is a chemical disorder-not a behavioral one.Find the one that works for your child. 9-Be firm but loving- write the rules out in gentle language and post them at her height. Ours said things such as-use gentle words, say please and thank you, no hitting, etc. They are basic bit we would walk our son over to the chart if there was an infraction. 10-Cut your kid a little bit of slack- we use the words- Did you get a chance to do blank yet? You might want to take care of that now. 11-Start with one step directions and build up. Praise, praise, praise! 12- Take very good care of yourself Mom. You deserve it. Go for a walk, seek therapy( I needed to drop it in someone else's lap once in a while), get a mani-pedi, meet a a friend for coffee. Listen to music or read a good book. You are working very hard. That's my quick dozen. You can do this. We are and we even laugh. Blessings to you and yours!

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1-You are not alone. 2.-As another mom said- the school, and you are a team. 3-Educate yourself so that you can educate your daughter, your family and when needed, the public at large. 4-Take a deep breath and go day by day. 5-This is not your fault 6-You now know what is going on so you can help your daughter and reach out for help. 7-I save all of my emotional energy for my family. I no longer get made at the grocery store or while in traffic. It just is not worth it. 8- Medication makes things better for everyine. It gives your chiold a fighting chance! Just as you would not deny a child with diabetes insulin, you might not want to skip the meds. It is a chemical disorder-not a behavioral one.Find the one that works for your child. 9-Be firm but loving- write the rules out in gentle language and post them at her height. Ours said things such as-use gentle words, say please and thank you, no hitting, etc. They are basic bit we would walk our son over to the chart if there was an infraction. 10-Cut your kid a little bit of slack- we use the words- Did you get a chance to do blank yet? You might want to take care of that now. 11-Start with one step directions and build up. Praise, praise, praise! 12- Take very good care of yourself Mom. You deserve it. Go for a walk, seek therapy( I needed to drop it in someone else's lap once in a while), get a mani-pedi, meet a a friend for coffee. Listen to music or read a good book. You are working very hard. That's my quick dozen. You can do this. We are and we even laugh. Blessings to you and yours!

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The issues your child is going through have nothing to do with your parenting. But now that you know, you have to advocate for her and get her what she needs to succeed. I would look into medication for one thing. Then research the laws pertaining to what the school is obligated to do for your daughter. You can ask for a 504 plan or IEP and have accommodations placed to assist your daughter with her learning. Read every thing you can. This site is wonderful. The melt downs and overreacting is part of the disorder. The meds should help some but in my case I have inform my son way ahead of time that of any disapointments that may arise with any up coming events. He doesn't tolerat disapointment at all. Hope all this helps. Love to talk to you more. I am actually starting a blog. My email is amypta@nationwide.net - email anytime and I will try to help or just listen. - amy

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I am a parent of a 12 year old boy with ADD/ADHD and also a special educator in an elementary school. If the school feels your daughter should be held back they should do a comprehensive evaluation to see if she would qualify for services in her area/s of need. Along with medication and schoool services to address her needs she may make great gains. If she is having difficulty with her emotional/ social behavior she may also receive assistance in a social skills group. Now that she is on medication she has the opportunity to grow socially and build her self esteem. In regard to the anger, my son was very anger when he was on Adderall but calmed down with Concerta. Everyone is made up differently so don't settle for the first medication you try if you feel like you are not getting the best benefit from it.

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Hi you are as everyone says not alone I too have a nine year boy and an eight year old girl with ADHD. They are totally different in personality. My daughter is on the right meds for her. But my son is having a difficult time he too is always hitting or pesting his sister. I developed panic attacks this year so I know how stressful and hard it is. If your daughter is having trouble in school they should be able to lessen the work load or put her with a Education assisstant to teach her the way she can learn. Our teachers have been a blessing they are on board with me and the doctor. They fill out a form every 3 months and also write a little blurb about them to help the doctor and my doctor is so thankful for this. At first the teacher felt like she was being mean but I told her it is honest and we need to be honest so we can get them properly diagnosed and given proper meds. Kids with ADD/ADHD are very special and when they find that special something that they are good at they excellerate at it and succeed. I hope you find comfort and support thru this and I too. Together we all can help each other. Good luck

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There is great book about ADHD and girls. Get it, it will help you out. Boys are different than girls and my daughter was 7 when she was diagnosed. She is now 11 and she is doing ok. We have had excellent help with occupational therapy and by changing her diet she is doing well. If you want to chat email me. You will be fine and you will adjust, just give yourself time.

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