I doubt that you're lazy or stupid. You're clearly aware, at least in general, of your behavior.

It really sounds like you need a good evaluation. If you have ADHD the right medicine can help a great deal but it can take some time to get the right med at the right dose. I was taking far too low of a dose for years. Working with an ADHD coach helped me get on the right ADHD medication. Getting the right dose of the same medication made a significant difference.

In many cases, people with ADHD have a second condition such as anxiety, OCD, depression, or others. That was true for me. The good news is that addressing these conditions can make things so much better. But it can take time to get the right treatment and sometimes you have to treat one to reveal the next.

Ignoring bills, trouble with school deadlines, and spending too much time on the Internet are all experiences I can relate to. If these are the results of ADHD, meds can really help. Medications don't always solve problems but they often make it possible to work on them. I think of it like using the patch to help with quitting smoking - it can still be work, but it can make the difference between quitting and not quitting.

And as far as not feeling like a grown-up, I can totally relate. I often have a child-like sense of humor that my wife sometime enjoys and other times only tolerates. I will often find myself saying "I'm Five!" because that's how I am acting or feeling. While I joke about it, there is some truth (and pain) in saying that. The down-side is that I'm not a grown-up in all the ways I'd like to be. Managing my ADHD better, I have come to accept that my wife needs to take care of the money or help me with other grown-up issues.

I work on being a grown-up where I can, accept help where I need to, and thank those who are patient or help me with my struggles.

I would encourage you to seek treatment for your ADHD because treatment can make such a big difference in school, work, and relationships. I would also encourage you to seek out an ADHD coach. You don't have to accept this as a way of life.

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You are pretty hard on yourself too! But your insight is a really great tool. You remind me of me a little, and of my adult son a lot. There have been times he has made me so frustrated I would have liked to whack him with a cricket bat, but mainly I love him and admire him because he treads such a tough road and has so much to offer this world and just wades through the mud every day andholds onto a bit of hope. I hiope and pray you both find a way to make your world a better place. Surely recognising what's wrong and wanting it to change puts you streets ahead of so many other people.

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I hear what you're saying and I can relate to all of it. I get bored easily (typical ADDer) and when I feel bogged down by the daily grind of responsibilies, I look for an escape, such as the internet or TV, to distract me. It's kind of a cycle type of thing: I feel bad about myself for not being successful at (fill in the blank), then I get frustrated because there's no easy fix, so I retreat from the stress by finding something to entertain me. I do this at work as well. I'm stuck at a desk all day, doing receptionist work (BORING!!) and the only thing I have to look forward to is going to class (I've gone back to college because I never focused enough when I was young to graduate the first time around, and never found a "career"...just different jobs over the years, none that pay well) It makes me mad at myself that I'm stuck in a low-paying, mindless job when I know I'm smart enough to be much further along by now. (I'm 48 and was diagnosed about 5 years ago w/ ADD) It's like I can't seem to get it together like normal people. Even when I stay organized for a day or 2, something happens and I get thrown off and the cycle starts again. I take regular Adderall, but am considering trying Vyvanse for more consistency throughout the day. I feel like I've wasted a lot of time in my life running in circles getting nowhere, and don't have much to show for it. Do yourself a favor and go back to therapy/doctor/meds so you won't end up wishing you had done so 20 years from now...

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I understand what you are going through. I was diagnosed with add only two years ago. I take adderal and it really helps me concentrate and gives me incentive to do the things I need to do. It works better some days than others but I also have PTSD and depression. I think that affects the way it works sometimes because of the other meds I take. Dont give up and seek treatment from someone that understands your problems. Never ever give up.

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I retired early, after being fired from a job in customer service in the mortgage industry. They really did me a favor. I hated that job anyway. I don't plan to go back to work, but I do see that I need to do something with my time besides hang out on Facebook, playing games.

I never did catch on to housekeeping. It was always a total disaster when I was married and had six children. Even now, with only me in a small apartment, my housekeeping is still a cluttered mess. I am just not organized, and not consistent in doing the many routine tasks that are involved in housekeeping. Sometimes, to be quite honest, I really don't want to do it, anyway, so I don't. But, then, I feel guilty and worthless,and ashamed, and hope nobody springs a surprise visit on me. It's not fun.

It seems that consistency and focus are the main things needed for the routines of life. For someone with ADD, those are the things that are missing the most. Then, other times, hyper-focus kicks in, which can be a good thing, if channeled in the right direction, or a bad thing if channeled into addictive behaviors. For me, it's internet addiction, which takes up all my time and energy, too often, and keeps me from accomplishing more important things.

During the Christmas holiday, I was talking to my son, who is a stay-at-home dad, and a professional website designer and author, and he said what he does to keep on track is have pop-up reminders on his computer to remind him of the routine tasks like picking up his daughter from school. I'm going to try that myself. There are some wonderful tools on the internet for us who have ADD, things like calendars, desk top timers, and Post-It Notes.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Don't give up. There is still hope for you. You are young enough to have a very successful life, on your own terms. There are people who are willing to listen to you, and support you.

I'm not giving up, either. There's still a lot of life in this old girl, even with health problems. :)

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Have you ever seen the book, "You mean I'm not lazy, stupid or crazy?" ?

I don't have any fabulous words of wisdom right now, as I'm in a pretty rough place myself. But I wanted to tell you that I can relate so incredibly much to what you said. I'm 33 and definitely not a grown up. I'm struggling to get through college...have been in and out since I was 18. The internet is an addiction I refuse to even consider giving up!

I'm going to school for psychobiology...inspired by the desire to understand that is going on with my brain...why do I do the things I do and break everything I touch?

Venting is good. I've found that any sort of connections with other people who really, really understand (because they live it too) helps me to not feel quite so horrible about myself. When I read other people's words and feel I could have written them myself, it always strikes a very emotional chord.

I am in pretty much the same kind of headspace that you were, when you wrote the initial post. When it's like this, it is SO easy to forget that it isn't always this way. It just feels like it is while it's happening. Hopefully, you are feeling better these days...

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Snipercheez said: Sorry, people....I just want to know if there's anyone w/ the same problems that are able to give me some advice, and really I just wanted to vent. I'm I just lazy? Spoiled Brat? Manipulator? Depressed? I just want the opinion of someone who isn't a therapist, friend, relative, or my girlfriend.

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Snipercheez said: Sorry, people....I just want to know if there's anyone w/ the same problems that are able to give me some advice, and really I just wanted to vent. I'm I just lazy? Spoiled Brat? Manipulator? Depressed? I just want the opinion of someone who isn't a therapist, friend, relative, or my girlfriend.

Your story is similar to mine. And I suspect to just about every other person who went most of their lives without being diagnosed.

Get back with your therapist, and get back on the meds. Even if you choose to go off meds at some point and use a different treatment strategy (I have a friend who uses meditation extensively), the meds will allow you the ability to actually stabilize and effectively utilize a therapist.

How you treat your girlfriend is exactly how I treated my wife for 10 years. Once I was diagnosed and I realised the suffering she had to endure, I also went through a phase of serious self-hate. I still feel guilty at times, but she is gracious. I consider myself fortunate in this regard.

Your first taste of medication sounds like mine. All this energy, but no focus. What I discovered was that I never learned to prioritize, since everything was always the same level of importance.

ADD effects your life in ways you cannot imagine, until you see what life is like without it.

I note you live in Baltimore. So do I. If you ever want to meet for a chat, PM me and I'll share some of my experiences in person.

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