My (7yr) son started 1st grade this year (after repeating kindergarten) and he has had a terrible first two weeks. From day one he has been in trouble for talking while the teacher is talking, repeatedly getting off task and not paying attention, and once or twice "talking back to the teacher". At home I have to repeat a request (brush your teeth, get dressed, etc..) numerous times before having to talk in a loud voice, start counting, etc..I am a single mother; his father and I split this summer after living together for two years. (We have had a off-again, on-again relationship for about 10 years. It is really over this time). His teacher has made some veiled comments in her emails about getting him checked out. I took him to the doctor today and had his hearing/vision checked and it was fine. The doctor believes I should take him to have him evaluated by an ADHD professional so I am now waiting for the referral to go through the insurance and schedule an appt. He has had these problems since pre-k where I volunteered in his class and was able to witness the behavior (though his teacher said he was worse when I was there). I am so sad, scared, and guilt ridden. His father refuses to believe anything is wrong with him and that he is only displaying "typical boy behavior" but the only time he spends with him is on the weekends when there is no early school/homework and bedtime routine to adhere to. He is being no help at all and basically tells me it's my fault because I am too hard on him. I am also a graduate student with one year left so I am super busy and stressed out. I don't know what to do, I have been crying at night because I feel so alone and ashamed. I feel guilty for the feelings I have toward my son sometimes; I often find myself ignoring him and not wanting to be around him because he can be so annoying. I know he must be able to pick up on this; he has asked me before if I hate him! No child should ever have to ask such a question. I do not hate him at all, he is a very sweet and compassionate boy. I (and others) have witnessed him treating other children with a surprisingly mature response to them falling down or having other issues. He absolutely loves my three year old niece and follows her around to help her with anything she might need. He has a very smart and funny side to him; he will discuss seriously with me the morals of things such as being nice to animals, helping strangers, and standing up for the weak. He is a total math whiz and very curious about EVERYTHING. Then he turns right around and acts like a 3yr old (example: in a store he runs away from me and has to touch everything). It's so frustrating and confusing. I am almost hoping he will be diagnosed with ADHD so that I can stop feeling like this is all my fault. I want him to the happy, friendly, sweet boy all the time that I see only sometimes. He is not aggressive or mean at all. He just can not pay attention to anything if it doesn't hold his interest. He is also constantly talking and moving. Making "explosion noises" or singing a made up song or humming or something. He is very touch feely always wanting to be on my lap or climbing on me somehow. Moving constantly. I guess I need to know before the evaluation what questions to ask, what indicates a good through evaluation, and what to look for to reassure myself that the doctor really cares. I am totally new to this and my heart is breaking thank you so much for any advice you can give me. Devon

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