Blue,

I can identify with your situation. I failed college several times at a time when attention deficit disorder wasn't commonly diagnosed or recognized. I had no idea that it was ADHD that was giving me trouble. I also found most majors uninteresting, struggled with reading, and was studying computer programming. It was many years later that I finally began to sort it out.

I can only give you advice based on an "if I knew then, what I know now" perspective.

First, it appears, that like me, you're not going to be able to succeed at college until you get a proper diagnosis and treatment. I would suggest making that you primary goal. Even if it takes a couple of years, it will save you frustration and wasted efforts and time.

When I was failing college, I kept trying harder, got counseling, and tried various methods to improve my performance. It just didn't work because the underlying problem was undiagnosed ADHD. Later, I began taking ritalin for my ADHD. But it wasn't until much later when I ran into serious problems that my doctor raised my levels to 5 times my original dose - and changed it to twice per day.

So in my case, the diagnosis was correct for several years, but treatment wasn't even close. Furthermore, finally having the proper ritalin levels revealed an anxiety problem that I am just beginning to treat. It's also important to note that I wouldn't have been able to sort this out with the help of a really good ADHD coach who worked with my doctor and helped explore treatment options.

I would encourage you to focus on getting the proper treatment because without it you're fighting college with one hand tied behind your back. For me, a coach was extremely helpful in managing treatment and behavior. It is likely that there is a solution for you that you just haven't found yet. Keep looking and don't waste time with doctors, coaches, etc. that aren't helping. When you find the right help, you'll know because some things (not everything!) will improve quickly and reveal other things that seem more manageable with some effort.

Feel free to send me a private message if you'd like.

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blue52 said: Hi all

I need some advice. Let me explain. I am 22 years old with ADHD inattentive type and about to fail at my 3rd attempt at higher education. I just cant seem to study and have fallen so far behind that I am worried I wont finish on time and fail or the college will throw me out. The anxiety, worry and fear I have is just taking over my life to a point in which studying becomes impossible.The moment i open the books i burst into tears, its just too overwhelming (right now I am programming but it is just too hard) . I really really really want a higher education but realistically i don't think i am capable. I am at my wits end. My parents have spent a fortune on wasted education and i am worried they just gonna get disappointed again and if I screw up again. I don't know what I am going to do with my life. It is also so embarrassing every time someone asks me what I'm doing with my life its always something different. I have absolutely no interest in any field.

Ive tried so many things to help me which incl exercise, healthy eating, brain exercises. I've been on almost every type of anti depressant. Not one has helped. I've tried strattera, concerta, provigil, ritalin( currently on). Not one has helped (adderall is unfortunately not available where I live). I've seen a psychologist (5 years), psychiatrist (5 years), neurologist. I've tried hypnosis, meditation, any and all supplements and nothing has helped. I've also been for lessons on how to learn.

I need some good advice because i can feel myself starting to slip into a depression. i really just want to throw in the towel and just give up on having a successful life

Many Thanks

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Have you asked your college about accommodations, such as extra time for testing? That might help relieve some of the pressure. Also, have you been evaluated for a learning disability? Once you get the proper diagnosis, you can get the proper help.

The ADDitude website has a trove of information to help ADHD students succeed in college, some of them might provide a helpful tip or two.

I suggest you start with this article: College Survival Guide for ADHD Students

Good luck, Dena

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Hi Blue,

You seem really frustrated. I'm glad to see you reaching out and asking for help. I'm struggling with worry, anxiety, fear and frustration too. I've been having a horrible time with self-criticism leading to self-sabotage, and am concerned that you might be starting to do that too. The cycle is: 1. I get scared and frustrated with myself about not meeting my or others' expectations, and stop noticing the positive. 2. To avoid those feelings and get a temporary feeling of control, I beat myself up and criticize myself. 3. This results in more bad feelings. 4. To get away from those bad feelings, I get another temporary feeling of control by resisting and passive aggression, or diving into a book, and not even trying. 5. Repeat, ad nauseum.

During this cycle I get incredibly wound up -- which will interfere with anyone's brain functioning, ADD or not. Sounds like you might be doing this to yourself too. When I treat myself with compassion, I get less stressed and do better. I have a far nicer experience too!

I'm becoming more conscious of this again (like most personal growth, learning is cyclic), and learning to break the cycle. The only thing that I've found to work is to go into, feel and process the feelings instead of avoiding them -- I really needed the help of an EMDR counselor with this -- and am learning to create and maintain an empathic connection with myself, to accept myself as I am and to treat myself gently, with love and kindness.

What is helping me right now is: 1. Medication. Your biochemistry is no doubt different from mine, so you'll need to find what works best for you. 2. Counseling. I've gotten a lot out of working with an EMDR practitioner. An NLP practitioner helped earlier. Very important that they understand ADD! 3. Listening to "Non-Violent Communication" by Marshall B. Rosenberg and "Getting Unstuck" by Pema Chodron (books on CD) over and over. I'm from an alcoholic parents, neglect and abuse background. These books are providing me with essential tools for becoming aware of and handling my thoughts, emotions and needs in a positive way. Beating myself up is both really unpleasant and unproductive, so I'm working to replace that with constructive behavior.

Best wishes!

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Hi Blue,

I totally understand your frustration. I think you are going through a lot. I am not sure, how I can help you but I may suggest you something which might help you. I came across something called "Ampheta-Restore" because of my friend. It might help you, just have a look. I am providing you with some basic information and then putting a link of the website, just check it out. You never know it is useful. Ampheta-restore is stimulant recovery aid. It reverses tolerance, makes you less moody, detoxifies the body and improves your sleep. This could be your solution, go through this website: http://www.amphetarestore.com/

I hope this helps...best wishes and take care of yourself.

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I feel your pain and frustration - I'm working full time, going back to school, and raising a family (which includes volunteering with Scouts, Football, and Basketball). I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until last fall (2008). Until then, I was being treated for depression. Once I started meds and found the right dose...my world changed. The depression disappeared, I was able to focus, and I was motivated to work on my skills and habits. Simply being able to learn organizational skills and develop good study habits has made all the difference for me.

You deserve the right treatment - don't settle for less than that. Talk to your doctor about raising your dosage. It's not uncommon for people to need a higher dose than the one they usually start you out on. It might be worth it to ask about short acting medications too. I know Ritalin is available in both long and short acting. I prefer the short acting because I can take the next dose when the first one wears off...I don't have to wait until tomorrow to take more. Being able to take it three times a day makes a huge difference for me.

If you're not sure what you want to do with your life - don't waste your time or money on school right now. I got a degree in one thing only to find out a few short years later that I really, really hated the jobs available to people with that degree. I found work I truly love...but I need a different degree to really succeed at it. So now, I'm back in school at age 32.

It pays to find a job that you love...then go to school for whatever would help with that job. Many employers will pay for education, especially if it's related to your job. Plus, working and going to school limits the amount of time you can really spend on school - you may only take one or two classes at a time. I know that allows me to focus more on the class at hand. Although it may end up being more hours, you're earning a paycheck, having someone help with your tuition, and you'll probably do better in school. You probably don't have to take tests at work and I suspect you wouldn't have homework - but school involves a lot of extra work (my teacher says 3 hours a week of extra study/homework time per credit hour). I've also found that I care a lot more about the material I'm learning since it has a direct effect on my day to day job. It's hard to put things you're learning into perspective if you don't have a chance to use them right away.

Long story short...ask your doctor to adjust your meds and don't stop until it feels right, take some time to think about where you want to end up before you jump headlong into a mountain of educational debt, and remember that you're not alone... :)

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Hello Blue52 :)

Please don't give up hope. There are always solutions to our challenges, regardless of size. The very fact that you want to earn a higher education, is your ticket there! You already have in mind what you want, just keep reminding yourself that. On another note, I have some information about B12 and its connection with ADD. I just posted an article that touches on all your worries and concerns. Please take a moment to read: http://www.ideamarketers.com/?The_ADHD/B-12_connectiona_closer_look&articleid=688924&from=PROFILE

Again, everything will be okay. This will only make you a stronger student :) My best dear, Wellness Crusader

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