Hi defeated....my 7 year old daughter and I are in a similar situation. I feel as if I have failed her as a parent. The frusterating part is that resources are so limited....I just want to get her through this and it is all a waiting game. I pray for the day when our family can live in harmony and out of the grasps of her ADHD/anxiety

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I know how both of you are feeling. We have been through similar struggles with our 8 yr old daughter. (so much so that we have decided to home school this year because I felt that our school did not understand the scope of her challenges and I felt that she was falling through the cracks!!!) If you have not read The gift of ADHD by Laura Honos-Webb, I would recommend it. The book talks about how you can "reframe" traits of an ADHD child and highlight them as strengths. Viewing our daughter's behavior this way helped me to be more accepting of the way that she acted in particular situations and to not be ashamed. (that is my experience, not sure if you have felt that way) Since reading this book and "reframing" my view of our daughter's ADHD, we have found ways for her to channel her energies and find ways to reinforce her strengths. She has started acting classes (which she loves and it has been a great outlet for her creativity and funny sense of humor). I have found that I no longer feel that she needs to conform to the norm but that we need to find her niche or a group of kids that fit with her (and there are many out there!!!) This book has helped us tremendously! I still have the "defeated days", hence the reason that I logged on tonight... but honestly, responding to your post has helped me to remember that I need to remember that or daughter has daily struggles. I hope that my post helped a little. I think that sharing resources is a great way to help our kids. I would love to hear what has worked for you. Hang in there!!!!

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I can really feel your pain - you obviously love you son very much. Public school is a nightmare for kids with ADHD because there is so little understanding. I encourage you to find a clinical psychologist who has experience counseling children with ADHD. That will help your son be in touch with what he is going through and help him gain perspective on how to help himself. They should also be able to counsel you on how to find relief. Also, we spent many many months with a physician who did not have a good grasp of which meds and HOW MUCH would work for our son. Finally, we realized that she simply was incompetent in that area, and we could not trust her for good advice, We endevored to find a new child psychiatrist who actually was able to consider all we told him and not just keep feeding us too small doses of this or that. Please know that all childrens metabolisms are different, and can mean using combinations of different perscriptions. Our son takes a combination of Metadate CD along with a patch of Daytrana. He is unique in his metabolism and tolerates the amount very well. The child that appears after an hour of taking his meds is the child we always knew was in there. Keep remembering that the symptoms are not your child, that the symptoms run the show, and your child is pretty much helpless without your help. Keep trying to find a good combination of solutions of counseling, medication and assistance for yourself and your son. Some sitting services have sitters who either have good experience watching ADHD kids, or are in school for child development. I encourage you to be very up front with whomever you are socializing with about your sons condition. The way we relate to it is: its a medical and real condition that he cannot help and we are doing all we can to help relieve it. If he had diabetes, we would be doing the same thing, Unfortunately for us the symptoms live on the outside in our son's behavior. It is extremely hard to be the parent of an ADHD child and I commend you for continuing to find a way to help your son towards a happier life.

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Hang in there Defeated. I know exactly what you are going through. My sons are both diagnosed and only one has the hyperness that you described. To help my children, I try to keep the rules consistant along with the consequences for breaking them. My sons can list the rules and what will happen as a result. Before any outings, we review what is expected of them and we leave when I notice that they are having difficulty. I keep my children enrolled in activities. Both of my boys and I take Tae Kwon Do. The kids have to work hard on standing still, respect, discipline, and they are learning leadership skills. Our Academy is committed to helping kids with ADD/ADHD. There are several kids in the classes with a diagnosis. The teachers work extra hard with them and my children are really triving in that environment. The nice thing is, its a year round activity. With me taking the classes too, it allows for me to work correctly on the moves with the kids at home. It increases our bonding and fun time and helps to wear the kids down some. The kids love practicing as a family. Not all martial arts academies are like ours, so you do need to review the different ones to find the perfect fit. I also have my hyper ADHD child participate in soccer. There is so much running and very little waiting, it is perfect for him. He did TBall, but that was difficult for him to wait in the field. I think for kids like ours, they need to have activites that keep them moving. So hang in there. Be consistant on the rules and behavior expectations when you are out and try to find activities that will keep your child busy and engaged. Good Luck.

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I have hit a low point. We are raising our seven year old grandson who has ADHA and anxiety. He has become very oppositional, especially with me. Medication has greatly improved his behaviour at school, but home is a struggle. This week I have been ready to throw in the towel. I think I need therapy myself. I have read all the books, though, and know what they say. Living it can be altogether different........

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Dear "Feeling Defeated" I wish that I could just climb through my computer and give you a HUGE hug!!!! I also wish you were my next door nieghbor. I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but, I feel like I am walking in the same shoes as you---and it is SOOOOOOO hard!!!!! "Charlies Mom"

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Dear "Feeling Defeated" I wish that I could just climb through my computer and give you a HUGE hug!!!! I also wish you were my next door nieghbor. I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but, I feel like I am walking in the same shoes as you---and it is SOOOOOOO hard!!!!! "Charlies Mom"

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