ADHDMom - first take a big deep breath and relax. The more stressed you get the more you things will get to you and then the more things that DS does will get to you. I have 2 DD with ADHD (only 1 has the H part). First you need to get your son's med going and straight. No child wants to be at school and kids make fun of him or him feel stupid, etc. Also, once you do get his meds straight and on the right path, try and keep the whole ADHD thing as quiet as possible in front of peers, talk with his teacher and make sure she doesn't say things and watch what you say to others about it in front of your DS. My DD Dr. said it is no one else's business and you should keep it that way. It is really a hugh self esteem hit to a child when they hear you or others talking about them and their ADHD and there are a ton of kids that are ADHD that you would never realize it. Next if he isn't involved in a sport, get him involved now! Try everything, swimming, running, tennis, soccer, bowling, gymnastics, etc. Anything that he can try, even if he is no good at anything. The only stipulation you should have is that even if he doesn't like it he has to go to all the practices and stick it out until the end (say the things lasts for 8 weeks then that is when he is done). Then he can try something else. Until he finds something he really likes and can be good at. This will not only help him with ADHD but in meeting new peers some that may not know him. This was a life saver for DD. There are many communities that have free sports things or a local YMCA or PAL but try everything. Those two things may take awhile but once those are in place then you can see what his behavior is like and move on from there. I understand you want to hide because he seems so bad or you are so embarassed by his behavior, but the only way he is going to get on the right path is to forge ahead and be the one to get him there. Will it be hard, yes, embarassing, yes, funny, yes, fun, yes. Keep your head up, keep smiling and try and have some fun along the way.

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Oh, yes, I had those exact same problems with my now 9-year-old daughter, so don't feel like you're alone!! A lot of her behaviors improve when her medication is right (which changes as she grows, so we still go through bouts of it), and some of it has improved over time. I am no longer afraid to go out with her, and I am no longer afraid to have kids over to our house for playdates. Occasionally she will get a little too in-your-face with them, but she is learning and changing some of those negative behaviors over time. She's in third grade now, on a good dosage of medication, learning and thriving academically, and doing much, much better at making friends. So there is hope! I'd say the things that helped most for us were 1) finding the right medication and dosage combination, 2) finding a way to communicate with her teacher about her behavior - we use daily behavior reports, and 3) time and age.

The best of luck to you, and I hope you find some solutions and some peace!!

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I can totally relate to avoiding situations where there would be other children that my son might have a problem with or avoiding going places because it would spark a behavior issue or my son wouldn't be able to stay quiet or still or entertained long enough. And I know what you mean about feeling like you're always correcting your son and not having any good times. The best piece of advice and hope I can give you is to find a doctor who SPECIALIZES in developmental medicine. We had started meds with my son when he was 9 with our regular pediatrician, then a friend told me about a pediatrician who specializes in developmental, educational and behavioral medicine and we went to see him. He doesn't do the regular sick kids stuff, so we go to the regular pediatrician for little ailments. He is a specialist and it shows. It was like he knew my son, knew what we were living with and knew how to help. He revised my son's medicine plan gradually but completely and now my son is 11 and LIFE IS GOOD! I can't tell you what a miracle it is! His teachers all LOVE him, he has friends and playdates and we can take him anywhere. The joy is back! It was hard to get used to the idea of my son needing more than one med, he now also takes an anti-anxiety med which maybe could help balance out the crying for your son? It's a tricky thing to balance the meds, but it can be done. Find a doctor in your area, it wasn't cheap and insurance doesn't cover all of it, but it is so worth it. I know you know how worth it it will be for you too. You can get there! Keep putting one foot in front of the other, keep loving your son, pick your battles, pray and find a good doctor. It can make the difference between success and failure. Good luck and God bless!

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Perhaps consider a therapists ...for you, your sanity & your son to get stuff off his mind. Its makes a wolrd of difference.

Oh how I can relate…and I can totally relate to avoiding situations…on many levels…

My son (8,in 2nd grade) was diagnosed in Kindergarten. We have been up & down the rollercoaster of meds. First Adderal XR, would give it to him at 7am, that last too long & lost weight. Wouldn’t eat dinner at 6pm and certainly was ready for bed by 8-830p. He would finally fall asleep by 10pm. Changed to the Daytrana patch, worked well the first month, then went up 1 dosage, worked well the next month. It was great, take it off about 3:30-4 and he was ready for dinner by 6pm. Then the following month he complained about it itching & it left red marks. So then we tried Adderal ( 4hr tabs. One in the morning & one at noon. That worked really well for several months… until I started getting a negative attitude & then started getting notes from his teacher about his attitude, lower self esteem, etc… Ugh “Depression” side effect. It was awful! We are now on Concerta and have been for 3 months now…so far so good! I still struggle with his weight, but give him protein supplements in ice cream/ smoothies...that seems to help. Now that school has started, I have to give him a melatonin 3mg at dinner (6pm) so he is ready for bed by 8-8:30. Through a therapist, it was brought to my attention that there is “other” issues. Aspergers Disorder! We just completed a series of tests….and I found out it is very common for people with ADHD to also have Apergers Disorder or tendencies of Aspergers. This is all new to me & very overwhelming….but I finally found a pediatrician that is awesome( her own 2 child have ADHD) & it makes a world of difference vrs a doctor that just want to shove pills down your child’s throat! Back to the therapist next Thursday about Apergers…and hammer out a “plan” I meet with the school principal, school psychologist, his teach & special needs aide. We are all finally on the same page. That makes a big difference too….get support!!! Good luck!

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When I saw this post, I felt like there might be people out there who understand how it is to be a mom with an ADD kid!

My son has never been super hyperactive, but has pretty much always been a struggle - from a difficult pregnancy, to a colicky baby, to a toddler with night terrors and then an elementary-age kid who was extremely difficult to put to bed.

Now he's in high school and we're already struggling in this new environment. He is virtually impossible to get up in the morning and frequenly goes to school late (or not at all). He won't do his homework, his grades are dropping, and my husband and I are beside ourselves and don't know what to do. The only thing he cares about - by his own admission - is playing a computer game. He's completely obsessed with it and we fight about it all of the time.

We've been through so many counselors and don't feel like it has helped. We've considered Adderall and had it prescribed, but never given it to him because I'm not convinced ALL of these problems could possibly be impacted by a stimulant medication.

He's so frigging complicated - with elements of depression and ADD and oppositional behavior - and I feel like it's aging us before our time. We fight with him, we fight with each other, we can't give our daughter the attention she needs - he just takes to much of our thought and concern and energy.

It's really frustrating and downright exhausting!

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I have to say that I feel relieved to read some of these posts. Whenever its time to try a new med for my son I usually go to med review sites (not this one, today is my 1st time here) and get sick of reading "Oh my, (name of ADHD med) has worked wonders for our life, our son/daughter has done a complete turn around, life is so much better, etc...." Then when we try the med for my 7 year old son we get awful results! It is such a disappointing experience.

When you said you spend so much time correcting your child, I feel like that is one of the hardest things about ADHD. I feel like it is putting a wedge between the relationship between my son and I. I love him so much and enjoy him so much but I fear he sees me as the mean, disappointed, not fun mom because I have to constantly remind, correct or enforce concequences. I tell him multiple times a day how much I love him and am proud of his efforts but I see such a sad look in his eyes.

We started with Adderall then Detroamphet but both stimulants had such bad side effects we stopped after a few days. Then Concerta for a few months but he started having chest pains and difficulty breathing and we saw zero improvement in his behavior. Nexct we tried Straterra. Almost 3 months later we quit that due to NO improvement and troubles with sleeping at night. Today is day one of INTUNIV 1mg.

PLEASE let this one be the one that works! I feel like we've paid our dues, we've tried several unsucessful meds. Arent we due ffot the "right" one by now???? I want to write a review that INTUNIV has changed our lives and my son is doing great!

Thanks for sharing your story and frusterations, I needed to know I was not alone.

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