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hope this helps
Hi i was looking for relationship help and happened to see your post and for what it's worth - I just had a job as a customer service telephone rep in the mortgage industry, same as yours - I was a mortgage loan broker for 5 years with a small mom and pop company that did real estate and loans - and I loved it - but when the market turned south, it shut down and so I went to work for a large loan company like what you were describing. since i loved doing loans, and the money i made and the stimulation (I did sub-sub-prime, ha ha) and also the creativity of it, and so I thought i'd like to stay in the business and thought the new job would be similar. But it was a horrible nightmare, and truth be told, i lasted only 2 weeks, and this after almost 6 years at the same job, and initially I didn't understand why all of the sudden I hated something I used to love. But i used to work for a small company for a guy that had ADHD like me, and valued my good qualities, and we hired paperwork people to do the number crunching and paperwork and organizational stuff, and keep records in order. since we did real estate too, I didn't have set hours and although I don't mind a 12-14 hour day if it's stimulating, , a boring 9-5 job is hell for me, always has been and always will be. At my old job i'd come and go through out the day, going here and there to meet a client, put up a sign, get a lockbox, deliver a check, etc., at my new job I was stuck in a cubicle all day,sitting on my butt, in the same place at the same time and I just wanted to die, if i looked at the clock, it would say 10:30 am, but i'd feel like i had been there for hours and hours. The creativity of loans in the old days is gone - I could get someone with bad credit and no money a loan, and there would always be problems and issues, but they were just challenges to me and I could always figure out a way to get the loan through and my company valued me for that, and so did my clients. Now, the loan industry has changed for obvious reasons, and it's more of a cut and dried thing - either you qualify or you don't, there is very little room for creativity, and it's a lot of number crunching, while sitting there in a cubicle. Not as much interaction, problem solving (unless you call problem solving - dealing with frustrated jerks that have no money, no patience, and no understanding of that you are actually trying to help them, and their situaiton is not your fault).
There are a bunch of other things that I realized are diffent now, but I won't bore you with it all - i'll just say this - if it feels like that to you, quit, asap. If you feel you can't quit, look for somthing different, and start now. Don't kid yourself, don't torture yourself, it's not your fault, and it's not worth all the misery and it's just not going to change - but it doesn't have to be that way - you can have a job where you can shine, and your ADD will be an asset, and your characteristics and traits will be used to your advantage and make you even better at what you do, instead of trying to force yourself or learn how to tolererate a miserable, intolerable situation. Don't let people pressure you, and don't get down on yourself and feel trapped. I just renovated 2 houses, from start to finish, added a couple of rooms, and also did the landscaping. I worked my butt off for two years, rarely having a day off, loved practically every minute of it, and my neighbors and anyone else that saw the places before and afterwards were absolutely blown away. I was really proud and felt really good about myself. These same people just looked at me and frowned and shook their heads at me like i was some kind of lazy, spoiled complaining little child, when I tried to explain why I just couldn't do it with the new job. And i got really down on myself again like usual. People don't get it. Don't judge yourself because they don't, or think there is something wrong with you because something is hard for you and you hate it and are going crazy because of it, but for everyone else, it's just part of life, something they do, and can't understand why you are making such a big deal of it. I feel for you at that job and i know how sometimes it feels like you don't have any options because of finacial, etc. issues. I don't want to offend you if you arn't religious, (or if you are maybe this is offensive, sorry) but if you follow your heart, and do what brings you joy, do what you are drawn to do, God will help you out. I know, because He has over and over with me, even in the worst of times. We people with ADD/ADHD get the short end of the stick alot in life, but I also think God gives us a few extra chances, a few "get out of jail free" passes, so to speak - why it seems that way, who knows, I try not to question it, and just appreciate it. Trust that there is a job out there for you that you won't hate. That you will be perfect for and it for you, and be open to it. I can't tell you that things will get better at the job you are at now - or how you can make it better, or even if you can, but I can definitely tell you for sure that if you trust God, trust your intuition, your heart, whatever,, and maybe you already know what it is you really want to do, just go for it - if you have the courage and faith to do it - things will fall into place for you, and you will never regret it. Good luck - I wish you the best and I hope I was able to be of a little help, if not a lot!
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20 Aug 2009 @ 11:13 PM
21 Aug 2009 @ 2:54 AM