You do have a choice about footing the bill. If she's on drugs then you are not helping her by doing this. If she refuses to seek help then you are not helping her by doing this.

Without a full evaluation, you will not know for certain. At the moment all you can do is focus on yourself. It is difficult to live with someone who does this and while I know it would be difficult to ask her to leave, it may be the only thing that could push her toward getting help.

However, doing this without the support of a good counselor/therapist for yourself will be very difficult. I simply could not do without mine while trying to cope with my now adult child who has bipolar disorder and ADHD.

Yes, she will probably yell some more. She's learned it's a way to get what she wants. You can simply state I will no longer tolerate you yelling at me, therefore until that time that you can control your emotions or get some help your internet service is no longer available to you. Or I will not be giving you any spending money. Whatever it is that means the most to her that you currently fund.

As long as she is comfortable in your home and gets what she wants her behavior is unlikely to change. You can't control the outcome of this, but you can control how you cope with it and what you will tolerate.

If she gets angry enough she'll go live with friends or she'll get the help she needs. There's a good book "I'm Not Sick, I Don't Need Help" by Xavier Amador - I highly recommend it.

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Thank you--that was very good advice. Putting it into action, of course, will take me a little time, but I will definitely re-read your reply some more to help it sink in. I will see if our library can get the book you mentioned. She seems to have a lot of addicitive type behaviors---drinks lots of coffee, likes to shop if there's money, smokes, sometimes a little binge-eating, It's difficult for me to get a baseline behavior on her because she only stays with me sporadically right now. But, generally, those are the behaviors she displays--she tends to really push my buttons--to a heavy degree, sometimes, I end up in tears, then I think she believes she has even more power over me. Last time I tried to match her yelling, I guess, and she ended up crying herself, and I had a sore throat--so it is a lose-lose situation when that occurs. I am wondering, also, if she could have borderline personality disorder instead of bi-polar disorder. They are a little different.

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I'm excited--I called our local library and they have located the book you referred in another part of the state, so they will order it for me--should get it in a couple weeks or so---however, you may want to know that the title is,"I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help," instead of "I'm Not Sick, I Don't Need Help," just in case anyone else is trying to locate this book. Thanks again!

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