Yesterday my 15 year old daughter left to go live with my Mom (halfway across the country). Her 9th grade year was horrible. By December last year things were going south. Her attitude worsened, she told us that she was cutting herself, grades were dropping and then shortly after that she attempted suicide (laid in snow for an hour when it was 15 degrees outside). This was a nightmare and desperate cry for help. Shortly thereafter, we found a great child/adolescent psychologist. She was diagnosed with depression and later we figured out that the depression was brought on by years of having undiagnosed ADD (Dad also has it). It became clear over time that she had been struggling since we moved to NY several years ago. The new school district was rigid and academically too intense for her. She had fallen into the wrong crowd because she couldn't fit in anywhere else. By late March, the depression had subsided to the point it was safe to start her on medicine for ADD. Over the last few months she has totally turned everything around. On meds, she now sees a future for herself and has come to the realization that she hates it in NY. She doesn't really like her "friends" or the high school. She asked to return to our extended families and the place she felt akin to. I am of course heartbroken that she is so far away from me now but will do anything to help her find happiness.

Day 1, my Mom forgot to give her the medicine. I could hear in my daughters voice immediately on the phone. It was that quiet distant voice of last winter of a girl who's mind was in some other world. I am so fearful that the whole cycle will start over. I want so much for her to have that second chance to make the right friends and do well in school. She is such a good girl deep down. I have tried my best to educate my family on ADD and what works for my daughter (medicine, reliable routines, lots of exercise, and encouragement). I don't think my family completely gets what ADD is all about. I told my Mom repeatedly not to skip medicine.

I am sad and scared on many levels. First, I miss my daughter. Rationally, I know she left the situation not me. Kids are supposed to leave you at 18 not 15, right? Second, I have lost some control of this situation and all the therapy and hard work getting her back on track over the last few months could be in jeopardy. Also, what my daughter gets hurt and I can't be there for her. You know kids can get a driving learning permit at 15 instead of 16 in Missouri. Ikes...teen driver with ADD!

I made another plea to my Mom about the meds and am anxiously waiting to see if she can keep this all together. I recognize this is a lot for my Mom to take my daughter in. She loves my daughter so much and like me is willing to do anything to help her.

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