I am not sure why she needed to know about your miscarriage or abortion. You really didn't need to involve her.As far as her period that is a tuffy . Usually this comes with the modesty faze of life and things like this should take a lets keep this private, especially when she does get it. Like going into the bathroom changing , washing up alittle, and throwing it away. Until she matures more something that are private like your finances, fights with the husband, etc need to be kept between you and your signifiganat others. Also be very careful about any off hand remarks about neighbors, mothers etc to yourself because you don't need to have it repeated when you least need it or want it. Right now it best to say what you need or have no fear of repeating in front of her.Because it going to take time before she learns the limits (Judi)

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Most of your daughter's unwanted announcements probably spring from the ADHD tendency to be impulsive. Since she has a tough time controlling her impulsiveness, you should probably keep quiet about any topic you don't want her to announce to her class. Also, you might want to talk with her about sharing private information. This is a great piece of advice from an article about controlling impulsive speech:

"If you wouldn't want to see what you just said on the front page of the newspaper, don't say it at all."

Good luck, Dena

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Dear Otterone,

What a difficult position to be in as a mother. However, I disagree that it was somehow inappropriate to share your miscarriage information with your soon-to-be-fertile daughter. She does indeed have a vested interest in knowing how the female body works, how she might get pregnant, how she might protect herself, that she is far too young both mentally AND physically (menstruation aside) to have intercourse, and that she might inherit some reproductive problems.

Nine-year-olds can process this information when it's presented to them at a nine-year-old's level of understanding.

As a late-diagnosis ADHD adult, I'm still learning how much information is too much and who merits my trust. You might ask your child's therapist to distinguish between ADHD blurting and boundary issues in general. The two are obviously interrelated, but not necessarily identical.

Good luck!

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Thank you. I just went on medication on Saturday for my own ADD. I was tested when I was 10 (1985) and was told I didn't have it. I do. So I understand my daughter's impulsiveness. We have a good family therapist who is helping us and I picked up "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid or Crazy" and will be getting "Driven to Distraction" from the library. I think the more I understand how it effects me, I will better be able to help her.

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