You need to get out of that relationship. He is abusing you. No one should treat you like that. If you can't bring yourself to leave, go to a domestic violence center for counseling. Ask them to help you to determine if he is being abusive. It will only get worse. Get out now while you can. You are worth it.

Quote

And you know what the answer is , this not just a unhealthy relationship , it verges on being abusive with the risk of you sacrificing your self worth. He has no right to accuse you of being over reactive. I know you are in a better financial place then he is ; but it doesn't give him the right to accuse you of being a B** and the what ever. As far as his creativeness what is it getting him beside a ego in a roar. You say all this problems started when you two moved in together ; who moved in should be the one to move out. This is not just unhealthy it frankly is scary. Dear if you can't take it then you do know what you need to do. NO I'm sorry or I won't do it again will be said; but i saw my mother-in-law go through with this and she died a very broken women. You need to tell someone who you trust and then have him out or get out. This is going to get worse and it not his ADHD . I am severely ADHD and I never would do this to my husband of 23 years. (ADDRN) (JUDI)

Quote

I could not agree more with the previous comments. I am a 54 year old male with ADD my whole life, and would never think to treat anybody in the world the way you have been treated, let alone a person close to you. It is no excuse for bad behavior or worse. I certainly have my problems, communication and the willingness to truely listen, but still, you deserve better. Good luck.

Quote

Even my sister has ADHD, she's married and she is the really nice and sweet. She definitely doesn't treat her kids or her husband in the trashy way you boyfriend does you.

You NEED to get out of that relationship for your own good. Please! Before he ruins you or your self esteem anymore then he already has, please move out.

Quote

What you describe is almost identical to my relationship with my ADHD SO for the first few years. Now, going on 10 years, after five years of him on medication, I would say things are much improved....but, you know, much of it is just variations of a theme. Are the elements are still there (anger, blaming, irrationality, expecting mindreading, etc.), just smaller, more manageable doses. I certainly felt like I was losing my mind those first few years. I guess my point is: NO, it is not you. Sure, you can learn as much as you can about ADD/ADHD and its symptoms, how to recognize triggers, how to avoid falling into his traps, but it also requires work on his part. And, if he is unwilling to get any form of treatment (therapy, medication, or self-education), than you should not stay and endure this. I do agree with the others that this is borderline abuse. It is just hard to admit, since I know I still put up with it myself.

Quote

(english is not my mother tongue, please forguive me for the writing) I personaly belive he´s frustrated because of something (maybe because you make more money'do not know, adhd pople is not rarely frustrated) and is charging you with it. he has not rigth to do it ADHD and domestic life are compatible but the adhd person have to acept he´s condition and be conscient of the impact it may have in the other person, these way you both can loock for solutions. otherways is imposible it seems to me that your guy does not really know enought about he´s condition. I mean, we all know how we feel about the world but we do not usually know how "normal people" do it so we can hardly understand wy they are so dissapointed with us sometimes. We have also some trouble when it comes to judge ourselves, it`s a little harder for us than for others. about housework I have problems with that also. I usually tell my boyfriend that if he wants me to do something about the house he must tell me exactly what, exactly when, and write it down on a big paper and stik it to the room`s door if possible. we have a housework timetable so I know exactly what aprt of the work is mine. it`s the only way to do it for me. we do the same with behaviour rules and things to do or not to do, we have a list. I know it may sound kind of ridiculous and childlike (they are the same technikes that I use at school with my 7 years old pupils) but it works for us, when ti comes to organization most adhd adults are like kids

that`s what I can say about adhd and teh situation you`re describing. but it does not justify him, he`s being really selfist!. if he does not want medication he takes the responsability of learning how to control it so he does not harm others. he do not have the rigth to make you suffer these way. If you really think he loevs you and it`s all beacause of these problem maybe you should talk things over (but do not overexcitate please! or he`ll do it also9. tell him you are suffering adn search for some help. maybe you can record yourselves for a pair of days so you both can see your behavour from outside and think about it.

Quote

This is not acceptable and I have to agree with other posters. He is using ADHD as an excuse and if it is that bad then you need to leave. He needs to get help from a professional and deal with his issues.

Quote