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| Thread : I Think I Need Help... | |
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| latrodectus |
Join Date:
Sun 26th Jul 2009
Threads: Posts: |
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I Think I Need Help...
My life is a mess. Someone once suggested that I may have ADHD but only recently did I really start to consider it. Here is me in a nutshell.... I have been married and divorced 3 times. I can't control my impulses to spend...i.e, I have spent over 300.00 per month on Starbucks and when questioned by my significant other I agree that it is ridiculous, (and I honestly feel that it is), but when I see the drive-thru, I am there and all logic goes out the window. I am always late to work...usually because I decide at the last minute to throw a load of wash in or spend a little more time checking emails. Work is a complete disaster. I once was heading over to complete a task, (I work in apartment maintenance), and stopped halfway there and struggled with whether I should continue and finish or go do something else (which was not as important and made no sense)....but I consistently do the one that makes no sense. My relationship now is almost textbook from what I have read. My girlfriend makes comments like..."I can't believe you are 43 and have not figured it out yet." She will give me tasks to do and I will either lie to say that they are done or wait until I am going to pick her up. During my last divorce, my ex-wife would ask me for documents or to make a simple phone call and it would turn into a blow-out fight because it would always get down to the wire before I finally did it. I am actually a good driver though I text on the road. I feel the need to answer my phone no matter what time it is or no matter what I am doing. I just failed a college course recently because I did not complete the coursework.....this caused major strife between my girlfriend and I because she is taking it as me not caring enough about myself or her to want a better life. My credit is awful. I bury my head in the sand when it comes to bills. ...I just hope that they will go away. I am perfectly content with letting someone else control my life but only to the point of them complaining and then I become indignant and let them know (during fights), how much I do for them that they just don't appreciate. I did really well on all of my coursework while I was in the military which I attribute to the extremely structured environment. I have been writing children's books for years. While I am creating them, I am extremely focused and feel that if I don't get the story to a publisher then someone else will have a similar idea but when the story is done, I just let it sit and I lose interest. I actually have a story that a former editor from scholastic deemed good enough to actually evolve into a series with a few modifications but the idea of modifying seems daunting so I have let that one sit. I have a side business in which I take spiders of all things to schools and daycares and educate children. When i first started the business, I went from no spiders and no real knowledge of them to a full collection, 3000 dollars in revenue, and a TV appearance within 3 months but then became so preoccupied with a "spider forum" that I let it go by the wayside. I felt this happening when I started having issues collecting money from some of the clients. It was something that made me uncomfortable asking and therefore I just didn't. I have become so knowledgable regarding spiders that a professor at the University of Washington asked me to speak to a group and also gave the history channel my name for the series called MonsterQuest. But, of course I blew that because I did not check my emails regularly and by the time I replied to them it was too late. I once canceled a show with an M.I.T alumni chapter because I was too intimidated that they were smarter than me. As a child, I jumped from hobby to hobby, (I still do with the exception of the spiders). My parents seemed to get irritated by that and no one took me seriously because I was just going through a "phase." I always felt that I needed to be an expert in something. My brother, who was very focused, got the majority of the attention because he was a fine artist. I am very good about keeping up the house and am very focused and almost OCD when it comes to housework. I really do enjoy it though. My girlfriend makes comments that the only reason I am so focused on the spiders is because it requires little effort and that I enjoy it. As of late I am ultra focused on making the business work and am handling very complex ideas with marketing now and down the line with little effort and refuse to be discouraged by any negativity about the business. I feel like a failure. I know that I am extremely intelligent but I have nothing to show for it. I learn things easily if I want to but if I lose interest then it becomes very difficult. Does any of this sound familiar? I once talked with my family physician about ADHD and the first thing out of his mouth was..."we can talk more about it but I won't prescribe any stimulants" I could honestly care less what I am taking just as long as it helps. Oh.....here is the clincher....I didn't start smoking until I was 33 and shortly thereafter was diagnosed with Leukemia. My leukemia is in remission however I often times fail to take my daily drugs that I am on and I continue to smoke. I am making an appointment next week to see someone but even that I have held off doing in the past because it is out of the normal routine. I am a virtual encyclopedia of useless information and can remember faces of people, phone numbers from 30 years ago, but can't remember to make it to work on time. Sorry I am so long winded. Does this sound like ADHD? Thanks guys. |
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| ADDitude Editor |
Join Date:
Mon 12th Jan 2009
Threads: 2 Posts: 258 |
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ADHD Diagnosis
I think I read somewhere that coffee helps ADHD symptoms . . . so maybe you can write off all that Starbucks as ADHD treatment. (I should mention it has not been scientifically proven) Regardless, if you feel like you need an ADHD diagnosis, the best place to start is with a medical professional familiar with ADHD. In the meantime, you might appreciate these articles: Good luck, Dena
Last edited by ADDitude Editor : 27 Jul 2009 @ 1:48 PM.
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| subversivegrrl |
Join Date:
Wed 17th Jun 2009
Threads: Posts: |
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PS -
I'm 48 now, 46 when originally diagnosed. You're ahead of the game :). |
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