Hi!

I absolutely relate to what your going through. I had a 'do or die' kinda job right out of college (I went back to school when I was in my 30s -before I was diagnosed with ADD). You words echoed my thoughts and emotions perfectly.

Long complicated story but if I did not make this job work I was out of a home and would have to give up my dog (my best friend and only roommate for 7 yrs at that time).

The job was "Head Admin" at a toxic waste transfer facility so you can just imagine the BS and red tape for everything! I was in charge of monitoring (in real time) all trucks in and out (approx. 30 - 40 a day), all documentation needed for those trucks to carry their loads, full reception, 12 phone lines, accounts receivable, accounts payable, invoicing and all follow up.

I was a construction worker, factory worker and a multitude of other things like most ADD's before I went to school - never worked in an office in any capacity. I had not one drop of experience and the full list of my responsibilities was dropped on me the day I started.

This job felt like life or death with me. I had to make it work! . Because of the importance of the info I had I could not take anything home so I spent (and I'm not kidding) 15 to 16 hours a day EVERYDAY (including Christmas day and New Year's day and everyday in between) I was still so far behind and lived in a constant state of terror and doom. Late at night when no one was around I just sat at my desk and cried.

Needless to say, I was fired. One might wonder why the heck they hired someone with no experience in the first place?? Turns out it was a set up - they hired me to fail (another long complicated corporate BS story).

Everything turned out fine for me and the mutt in the long run.

If I could offer some advice - call the local college and see what they have for co-op placements. I think they are usually free but I know here in Canada they have great programs where the government will help offset the costs if not cover them all together. Or maybe (if financial resources allow) bring in a temp. worker from an agency. This would get you caught up on all you have outstanding and once you start to delegate you will be able to distance yourself, look from the outside in, and get a way better perspective which will help you set up 'systems' to get it done on your own. Ask who ever you have come in to help you organize your day and set up a routine.

My thoughts are with you.

Amy

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What I mean have your wife business closed for 1 week and do what you would normally do such as have emergency only things at another hospital. You and your wife need to be able to organize and figure out your business, You need to organize your papers so you can sit down with your CPA. I don't want you to blame yourself . It almost sounds that you and your wife didn't have a clue about the other things that were slated for a bigger practice. If you don't need these things think about selling them. Who is HR if they hired you and her then they should have told you both what type of practice you were entering. I however got the feeling your wife is the only vet and it is your together business. So why HR? If you need help then you need to consider hiring someone. Many college kids are looking for employment. My vet has a office manager, and 4 techs to help him with the clients and their animals. You need at least a week to go through all your papers alone; and take the hours to organize it. After you are organized, everyday do things in the same order , Get rid of junk mail, make a list of appointments on a sheet so it can be published who is coming that day. pull charts, . Banking at what time make sure your books are kept organized debits and credits . As you receive them in the book ; and if you put them in the computer make sure you understand it. It is no room for mistakes, Payroll for you and your wife , whoever is to be done a few days before it is put in the bank. If it is weekly payday will be one week after the first week worked so the hours need to be tallied and pick a day you pay out. I got paid on Thursday the money was in the bank on Wednesday. The hours paid were from the two weeks before. If you have to do this stuff before you go any further because in your business . And I would go to Barnes and Nobles running a small business for Dummies Not that you dumb ; I just find these books have a wealth of information, easy to read and easy to understand. Before you are free falling to far and you get so depressed or feel worthless. You have to talk to wife about these problems so she understands that it is important,and something you didn"t do on purpose.Also she has to take her responsibility in this , she was to read, understand all that was to go with her business and you need to understand it too. If you two act as team and not fight with each other it can be done. NO DISTRACTIONS, NO ADVOIDANCE!!!! You both need to get a handle on this before it falls apart. .

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I manufacture and sell a unique day planner. Perhaps you've seen it advertised in Additude Magazine's classified section. Take a look a my website where there is a video which explains how it can help you with organization and reduce stress. I call it "The I N C R E D I B L E Delta Planner," and many people agree!

Paul Alpert (www.deltaplanner.com)

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Thanks Paul,

I am very interested in your planner and certainly see its value.

I'd like to get it; I really would. My problem is juggling and trying to decide on (settle on) what to use against systems overload with some combination that actually works (instead of what I've got).Stuff is spread out all over the place--paper planner; wall planner; computer desktop organizer (Paper Tiger?); my work software including calendar (specific to our profession and unfortunately necessary); Online calendar; IPhone (PDA); and so many to do lists. I usually spread stuff out on some combination of all of them (except Paper Tiger--currently demoing)

I forget so much stuff or get overwhelmed by it all--IPhone, calendars with google and yahoo; my work (software) calendar; a couple confusing notepads (impossible to retrieve important info from); and hundreds of sticky notes gone missing. Nothing's integrated with another; nothing is organized from clutter and loss. But there has to be a combination that works somehow combining (1.) the tangible (planner, papers, files and computer files--all centered around my desk) with (2.) the electronic and portable (Online applications, Iphone/PDA, and the very important notifications) and maybe (3.) a wall chart/white board.....I'm at such a loss. Thanks, Ryan.

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It sounds like you are so over whelmed by the disorganization. I know it is hard; but it okay if you need some help ask for it. It is foolish to sink because you are not willing to ask for help. All the electronics, sticky pads, I-phones , PDA will not work until you begin to reign in some of the stuff. I am severely ADHD and when my office get ahead of me, It is very overwhelming to figure out where to begin. I hate loose paper the most because it like a monster that gets ahead of us. To get myself back on track, I take a moment to breathe; and then I make piles 3 of them I have a pile must keep, a pile maybe, and a pile get rid of. It has to be done or it never will be under control. You are not a failure unless you let it happen. Get the help you need. I am not judging you. Then once organized keep it that way and find the time to put everything where it belongs immediately before moving on to something else.It okay ask for help

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Ryan,

Years ago, I realized that I was not well organized and I made a study of time management and organization.

One of the basic principles of time management is that you should have no more than one day planner. You've got so many different systems going at the same time there's no hope of getting things under control!

You say that you cannot do without a certain software program which is designed for the veterinary business. OK ... you could probably use that program and one other system. Any more than those two systems are not going to work and certainly not Post-It! notes which are very messy and easy to lose. I don't like the idea of a white board because you can't take it with you and it's not convenient to use.

In my opinion, you have no hope of getting better organized (and neither would anyone else) unless you take this advice to heart.

Paul Alpert (www.deltaplanner.com)

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Hi Ryan, You describe the stress of a bad match between a ADD er and the wrong job. I have been in your exact situation three or four times in the last five years. And I do believe the only people that can relate have the same condition. Admit to yourself and your wife that you are not going to be able to succeed with your limetations, at such a detail oriented job. I took a job as an optician, without any previous experience, and lived in hell for nine months. There was not one thing other than the sales aspect that I was good at doing. Horrible for your ego and sense of worth. I was a bad employee, husband and father during that period, not good for anybody. Here is my idea. Find a job you are better at and use that money to hire a real office manager. I know it feels like being a quitter, but it might save your sanity and help your marriage in the long run. Work with the people and thier animals, but leave the nuts and bolts to someone who is better qualified to do that kind of work. Once you do not feel the day in and day out pressure, you might be more help around the office. People with full blown adult ADD, always think they will do better with details the next time, but from experience, things do not change. I am fifty four years old, bankrupt and about soon to be divorced after twenty seven years. So maybe I am the last one to give career advice, but I do know you can contribute much more if you are in the right job, and feel good about what you do every day. I will not put myself in a position to fail ever again, and you might want to do the same. I am sorry if my advice sounds so negative, but a close friend of mine who also has ADD, and a very successful business owner, tells me all the time, put yourself in a position to succeed and not in a position with great risk of failure. I hope this long responce helps. Good luck and keep your options open.

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are you medicated?

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