I am the mother to a wonderful 11 year old girl who was recently diagnosed with ADHD combined type. She has always been a social butterfly and makes friends very easily. Yet she has a hard time keeping them. She has very much a leader personality and tends to do better with children who are followers. However, we have found out that some parents don't care for her because she can be persuasive and sometimes cause follower type children to do things they wouldn't normally do. We have had many issues with other children and she is always labeled "mean". She has NEVER been physically abusive to any other child. She does things that my seem risky such as riding the neighbor's plasma car with other children downhill. But she isn't doing those things on purpose she just doesn't see the danger involved in those things. I feel like the kids that label her "mean" are also mean. Or at least that is the impression I get and from what others may say about that child. I am told on a daily basis by people that she is so sweet and has a big heart. Which she is and does. She can be bossy too. I will never forget being told by her Kindergarten teacher that basically if she didn't straighten out she will never have any friends. That alone put a big hole in my heart.

As for school, we didn't have a good year last year. Her teacher singled her out on several occasions. On one occasion, we had just started testing for ADHD and the Psychologist nor I could quite understand why my daughter was the one singled out. She felt like the teacher basically didn't know how to handle a child like her and when she called the teacher on it, the teacher was taken aback. We also found out that her teacher basically told the mother of my daughter's best friend that maybe they shouldn't be friends cause my daughter doesn't make good choices. I had a long frank discussion with the mother of my daughter's friend about the whole situation. I must say that my daughter has NEVER been in any type of serious trouble with school. I have never even received so much as a phone call from a teacher or principal. She has never even had to visit the principals office. One of the times she got into trouble at school was when she and 3 other students were shaking each other in the lunch line and laughing. That's it, stupid kid stuff. NEVER anything that is serious. Both her Psychologist and I came to the conclusion that her teacher was ill prepared to handle a child like my daughter. Yet sometimes I wonder if it is the fact that she is adopted and mixed race and her school is predominately upper middle to upper class children. She is AA/Cauc and each year is a minority in her class.

My daughter is bright yet struggles with math and is very talented. There is nothing physical (dance or athletics) that she doesn't excel at. There is nothing physical she hasn't tried that she can't do. Yet she is disorganized, messy, easily distracted, lacks focus, struggles to follow instructions and the list goes on. Why does she have problems in math and school yet she excels at physical things?

For the time being, we haven chosen not to medicate. I as well as the Psychologist feel that she would lose interest in things she loves to do.

I am glad I found this board and look forward to finding out all I can. BTW, can someone recommend a good book on an ADHD child making and keeping friends. For that matter, recommend any good ADHD book you think may help!

Thank you.

Quote