You certainly have your hands full! So I'm sure you have lots of extra time to relax & read books - Right? A little joke between moms of multiple ADHD kids ;)

Anyway, I am a great reader so I often turn to books. The first one I'm recommending is Raising Your Spirited child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka. It's not really about ADHD kids, but is based on personality research. Some kids are just difficult and ornery. But her ideas are good for ADHD too. One major theme is to reduce stress by avoiding the triggers that make kids behave badly. Another is to change your own attitudes and expectations. There are lots of very specific ideas about how to wrangle difficult pre-schoolers.

Another book that is useful is 1-2-3 Magic. It works well with the other book. Lots of kids have trouble with transitions from one activity to another.

It can take a long time to incorporate some of these new ideas into your life. Some will work and some won't, and others can be modified. Just keep practicing and plugging until new habits and ways of thinking begin to become automatic.

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I have also read "1-2-3 Magic" and it works up to a certain point. But there is only so much impulse-control an ADHD child can have, even with the 1-2-3 threat hanging over their heads. The best thing I ever did for my son was take him to a good doctor to be evaluated, and put on medication. There's a debate about medicating children for ADHD, but I know that personally, with my child, he could not function without it. He couldn't even play, listen to bedtime stories, make friends, or enjoy life because his ADHD was destroying his basic experience of life. It was so sad to watch. But with medication (he takes Concerta in the morning and Ritalin in the afternoon) he is able to play with his toys, watch a video, stay out of trouble in school, and even play with others to a certain degree.

I can hear your frustration, even in the title of the thread. I know you don't really think of them as "monsters" even though they are completely out of control most of the time. It's just frustrating, but they really REALLY can't help it. It's not your fault, and it's not because you're a bad parent or they are bad kids. It's an actual physical difference in their brains.

I'm not going to lie...you have your work cut out for you for the rest of your life. They will never out-grow it. It just changes form as they get older. You will have to struggle throughout their school years to make the system work for you. You will probably have to go to more than one doctor until you find the right one. You will spend years trying to figure out the right medication and the right dose for each of your children, and they will probably all require a little something different! But it is so worth it to see them finally become happy and at peace.

There's so much information and so much support on this website. Hang in there, and you will get through it. The best thing to do, is whatever you think is best for YOUR kids, and screw everybody who looks at your family sideways and rolls their eyes or makes snide remarks or "helpful" comments like "If it were my kid, I'd wear that behind out...problem solved." So many clueless people think they are experts on child-rearing. You just have to take what you like and throw the rest away. It also helps to try to relax and try not to worry about the little things like popcorn on the carpet and scissor-holes in a certain pair of pajama bottoms! If you can just focus on the big things like "don't lie" "don't steal" "don't yell" etc., and pick your battles when you can... it relieves a lot of the pressure of impossible expectations and unnecessary punishments. You'll all be happier in the long run.

Anyway, I hope some of this helps. Like I said, everybody's got child-rearing advice! LOL. You can take it or leave it, just do what you think is right. :)

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