I also have a 8 year old son that was diagnosed with adhd a couple of years ago and acts aggressive and defiant. I am so glad there is someone out there that can relate. He steels, he lies, he runs away, he threatens to hurt himself, and is very destructive. I am also at my witts end he goes to a counselor and is on 3 different medications that I dont feel comfortable with but I dont know what to do. I am about to have a nervous break down. If you ever need someone to vent to I'm here because I really need someone who understands.

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When my son was six he was on Focalin and expressed the desire to kill himself also. He too was a very angry little boy. He did it at school which meant that the teacher called me. Then I picked him up from school and took him to his pyschiatrist. She then assessed him. She told me either we could go voluntarily or she would commit him to the hospital. We chose to go voluntarily. This was the sickest feeling I have ever had. To see him in the hospital crying to come home with us every time we visited. He stayed for 4 days. I cried every single day and night. When he was released he began "play therapy." At first I thought the play therapy was a crock, but after 3 months my son is a different person. He is off of Focalin and now on Clonodine which is used primarily for blood pressure. He is so very happy. Play therapy worked for us. It took time and we had a great therapist. She explained to me that at this age children cannot verbalize their feelings. All they know is that they don't feel good. It truly was a God send for us.

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Thank you for sharing your positive story about how play therapy helped your son.

Here is an article for those of you interested in learning more about Helping ADHD Children Learn From Play. It describes the value of play in ADHD kids' lives.

I hope that more parents will have good success with play therapy. Dena

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If your school say your son doesn't qualify for an IEP, ask for a 504. This is similar to an IEP but is for physical/medical disabilities.

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/749.html

Your son obviously requires some accommodations.

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My daughter is 11 and the exact same way. She throws things, hits, yells and screams and its either we hate her or she hates us. She was on Concerta and is now on Adderal. I tried for both an IEP and 504 at school but because she is GT and can compensate, she doesnt qualify but at night when her neds wear off she is a holy terror and getting homework done is next to impossible and then if we get it done it doesnt get turned in.

We started with a therapist but she is gone most of the summer so that is still too new to have any effect. My ex husband wont even admit she has ADHD/ODD, he blames her older sister for starting everything or not being able to control her.

Im at my wits end, I have no idea what to do.

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My son is 10 and was diag. a couple years ago... we tried many different medications and one in particular (I don't remember which one - sorry!) made him extremely violent, angry and defiant. We immediately took him off of it. I figured I would rather deal with his attention issues rather than put my sweet and loving child through that torture. He continues to be drug free, and we have managed his ADHD issues thru discussion, setting expectations, and consistent discipline. And a big part of the equation is maturity - each year I see my son grow and able to manage his own behavior simply because he is older. It takes a lot of hard work for my husband and I, and it's not an easy road to travel, but you may want to consider going no-med.

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I've been where you are. I took my son to a therapist when he was 4 and thrown out of daycare. The therapist told me it was a bad day care and there was nothing wrong. The school never told me about my son's behavior in class, probably because I'd ask to have him evaluated, but after he started to threaten to kill himself I took him to a new therapist. After 2 years of working with a licensed social worker and daily Welbutrin to treat his depression with some help for his ADD my son is doing much better. It's killing me to take 2 hours off work each week to pull him out of school and take him to a therapist, not to mention the school treats his time out of class for therapy as a 1/2 day absence but it's working. We still have days where he refuses to take his medication or makes bad choices or has outbursts but overall life is sooooooo much better. I took him to 4 therapists before we found the right one for him so don't give up because one person tells you there's nothing wrong with your child or this or that isn't or won't work (i've heard it all). You're the expert on your child. Keep looking until you find what he or she needs. I also had my son evaluated and found out he has severe dyslexia and a disorder of written expression. This after the school told me he was lazy. We can't give up on our kid because we're all they have!

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My son is 10 yrs old and was diagnosed with ADHD in the 1st grade. We have been on all of the medications as well. Vyvanse was the worst he became very aggressive and angry. The patch worked great,although he was allergic to it. All of the other ones either he had increased hyperactivity or impulsivity when they would start to wear off. I suggest keeping a journal of what time you give the medicine and what time you notice side effects. It has taken us until now to find the right medicine. It was a long road and I felt like he was a test rabbit. But now I know it was worth it! You need a doctor who understands the medicines and side effects. A psychiatrist or pediatrician who actually gets it. They all say they do but they don't. My son is on 72mg of Concerta 20mg of Prozac for anxiety and one half mg of Tenex. The Tenex has taken away the argumentative aspect of the Concerta. We were very apprehensive about doing it but it has worked and I now have my son back. He's not perfect but who is. We have more good days and nights then bad now. He has been on this combination of meds since May. We think they can control their behavior but sometimes they can't. After I started medicine for ADD I now get it. Read all of Ed hallowells boks there GREAT! Also check out Jonathan Mooney he will give you HOPE. Good Luck!

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nccntrygrl01 said: My daughter is 11 and the exact same way. She throws things, hits, yells and screams and its either we hate her or she hates us. She was on Concerta and is now on Adderal. I tried for both an IEP and 504 at school but because she is GT and can compensate, she doesnt qualify but at night when her neds wear off she is a holy terror and getting homework done is next to impossible and then if we get it done it doesnt get turned in.

We started with a therapist but she is gone most of the summer so that is still too new to have any effect. My ex husband wont even admit she has ADHD/ODD, he blames her older sister for starting everything or not being able to control her.

Im at my wits end, I have no idea what to do.

My daughter is only 6 but is also GT. I also have experience in the world of special education as the para to the lead teacher for 4 years ( I left education to raise my family). Any child who has been evaluated by the school system and qualifies for G/T should have an IEP, if your school system has a G/T program that your child participates in. The ADHD should be addressed in the IEP for this. If they do not have a G/T program contact your pupil appraisal head at the school board. They can help you to get the documentation to classify her as 504. If you don't get the results you are looking for keep going up the chain of command. If the teacher at the school is the one who says she doesn't qualify, go to the principal, from there go to the school board office and keep up till you get to the superintendent of schools. In the end the only things we can give our kids that will last for ever are a sense of good morals and values and a good education.

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I have an 11 yr old son with ADHD. He was diagnosed when he was seven, after years of me "nagging" at my husband that something about him wasn't quite as it should be. My hubby thought it was typical boyish behaviour, refused to believe his son had a problem and also thought that smacking and harsh punishment was the cure. It's not. My son simply could not control those impulses, as we all know, and was constantly in trouble with his father or on the receiving end of punishment. I went ahead and got the diagnosis on my own, with much opposition from hubby, and read everything I could get my hands on about ADHD. It was a hard road with many disagreements and arguments between us but my husband finally accepted that his son had ADHD (and that still took a couple years after the diagnosis), and has made an effort on his own to understand ADHD and the effect it has on our son. The medication only gets us so far. Time, patience and love are the hardest things to consistently give sometimes, but works wonders. As he grows older, his triggers and tantrums change and another hurdle is put up in front of us, but thank goodness my husband and I are now on the same team. Understanding and unity as parents is the one thing that keeps us sane. Maybe talk to your partner, and even if he can't understand the why or how, he could try to simply support you and back you up when the going gets rough.

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is the term for kids who are both gifted and learning disabled. Here'sa site with explanations a useful links:

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/what_is_2e.htm

2E kids also are entitled to an appropriate education.

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