Be patient. We filter things differently. We can't always intake everything all at once. Be specific. Abstract details don't give us what we need. We need structure.

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To add....We really want to ask questions when we do not understand, and most of us are afraid becuase we do not want to come across lazy, slow, or stupid. We are very smart people, and most of the time hands on learning works for us!!

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"It really DOES bother us when we're late."

I am well known for being late. Even people who don't know me, know that I'm always late. People assume that I don't care, and that I don't try. They think I'm being selfish and irresponsible. Even my best friend doesn't get it, even though I've tried to explain it to her. People make cutting remarks or jokes intended to highlight this very painful and frustrating aspect of my life. Someone I barely know once said (as I pulled up to a children's birthday party 15 minutes late because my son was complaining of a tummy ache), "Well, if she wasn't late, we wouldn't recognize her." My friend sometimes makes remarks like "I wish it didn't bother me to be late. It must be nice to not worry about it. It just doesn't seem to bother you."

Well it does bother me! I hate that I can never seem to get anywhere on time. Even when I'm running early, it seems like something happens to undo my extra time (like when my son suddenly complained of a tummy ache, and I had to stop at the store for medicine...who wouldn't have done that?). It is extremely frustrating, and other people's judgemental glares and comments are NOT HELPFUL. It actually makes things worse, because then I get all flustered and self-conscious, and self-loathing.

When it looks like I don't care, it's my way of trying not to hate myself on a daily basis. If I allowed myself to get all bent out of shape every time I was late, I would be in the loony bin by now, or died of a heart attack. So, yes...it does bother me (ALOT) that I am always late. But that is just the way it is for me... I have HAD to learn to deal with it, and I wish others would just learn to deal with it too.

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Because I filter things differently I am far from stupid. I may need for you to explain it to me differently and just because you think something is important I won't. I really don't care that they knocked down the store and are using the land to build a school. In my world it doesn't it just doesn't matter. My mouth can and will get me into trouble so don't engage me into fighting with you because if you don't want it said don't start with me because I will state the obvious be it good or bad. My family can make it easier for me if they would just support me in my decisions even if they don't always like them such as telling my boss that I had 3 very sick kids in the ED and if she wanted me to take 2 more kids she would need to start their meds,, lines etc. I don't want to be told I was wrong even if fired because I stood up to her. I need to be alone sometimes ; and making me feel bad about it doesn't help me. So I still have the awe of a child I never want to lose that. I don't like to be late; but I do get distracted. at home so I am 5 minutes late. Flexibility is a strength so let me use it. Don't try to peg me into a round hole when I am a triangle. I love music and it a good thing.

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I have to agree that I also hate to be late. I find myself late a few minutes or where I need to be at the minute I need to be there. And I would love for those around me to understand that even though Ive found out at a late age (46) that I have ADD it doesnt thrill me to understand this. It helps me understand so much of my past and if I could I would go back to at least 4th grade and do it all over again! The best way for me to see things it seems is through my hands as I do much better with a hands on approach to things that trying to see them in my head as without meds I have a three ring circus going on at all times. Now Im blessed to ONLY have a two ring circus going on. ADD is like a cancer in that no one wants it but its not something that just goes away even if you find meds that help to a degree. I hope this helps you with your book and God bless you for looking out to help others with this information that everyone needs to understand.

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I'm not selfish, self-absorbed, or inconsiderate. It really doesn't occur to me naturally, the way it apparently does for others, to ask you about your day; to remember your birthday; to send thank-you notes; to even say "thank you" sometimes - I know that I expressed my excitement about a gift, and I usually genuinely believe I have thanked you. If I didn't say the words, it's not because I'm rude - I just didn't realize I didn't say it.

I'm not just "looking for an excuse" when I try to learn about what causes me to be the way I am, and to do something about it. When you say that, it suggests that you'd prefer to think I'm by nature just lazy, underachieving, and a complete slob, rather than acknowledging that my head works differently than others'.

I know you're busy and usually in a rush: when I ask you to slow down and give me instructions again, and ask you clarifying questions about an assignment, it's because I know my own mental process, and I need to get things clear in my mind in order to do the good job you expect of me. And neither of us wants to waste time and be frustrated by having me get it wrong.

Many of the things you appreciate about me are because of the way my brain works. Many of the things you find frustrating about me are because of the same thing. I get frustrated too, but I'm doing the best I can.

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People suffering from depression seem to float from one day to the next, then suddenly plunge into their mental undertow, or just as quickly snap out of dark mind-clouds. For many, depression's tragic episodes can go on for years. A lot of times medical experts can barely explain depression's causes and mechanisms, making a cure seem so far away.

We believe that our body and mind already possess the ability to spontaneously heal ourselves, and all that’s needed is a away to identify and neutralize the factors behind our illness. When we resolve depression’s hidden triggers, our bodies can now re-focus misdirected energies and create positive health results. EFT is a fast track to achieving dramatic and long-lasting gains in self-esteem and psychological health.

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I wish people would realize that I don't LIKE to be this way, and if I COULD I would change some things. I love that I can be creative, but I hate that I'm always late, for one example. ADD/ADHD isn't a choice, it's not something we add to our cart at the store and buy, it's more like a package we receive in the mail, open it, don't like it, and try to return it, only to find there is no return address. I feel as though some of my friends think it's a cop-out, an excuse to be the way I am, even my fiance' made a comment when I was diagnosed that I couldn't use the ADD as a "crutch" for all the things that I thought was wrong with me. And in some ways I understand that, not everything that is wrong in my life is because of ADD, HOWEVER, it is a HUGE part of most of it. I didn't choose to be this way, but I'm learning to adapt as I go along, and I need others to understand that.

Someone hit it right on the head when they said that we need structure, I'm very black and white. I want to do a good job at work, but you need to understand that I don't always work well in the grey area, be clear with what you expect of me, what's right and what's wrong, don't be wishy-washy...I do enough of that on my own. And I hate it when people beat around the bush about things. Put on your big boy panties (or big girl panties) and just tell me what you want. I don't do subtle hints. I spend enough time over-analyzing things, and the meaning behind your words, and second guessing myself on things that I should feel confident in, and the last thing I need to add to my already full plate of paranoia is the anxiety of feeling like I'm dumb because you don't understand my need to ask questions, or God forbid have to explain something to me more than once. I feel like a puppy sometimes, I WANT to do a good job, I want to make you happy, but it takes some coaching for me to put two and two together and understand that it's ok to pee on the grass, but not on the carpet. Be patient with me, and with time I'll not only fetch, but learn to roll over and bark on command as well lol. Ok, maybe a puppy was a bad analogy...

And for my friends...I wish they knew that sometimes I don't call them back because if I don't even understand my own actions, how can I explain them to someone that's not in the same boat as me? Will they really understand that I don't want to make plans for the weekend because I know that I might flake out, or freak out at the thought of having to put on the "happy normal person face", and I'm sick of pretending as it is, I can't keep up with it forever, it's exhausting! I don't call because I don't remember to, and when I do remember I don't always feel like keeping up the facade, and the one friend that does know about the ADD still doesn't REALLY know....and it's not her fault, but it's hard for me to try to explain myself. I'm tired of explaining myself, I feel like I need to do it ALL THE TIME! To my fiance', the checkout girl at the store, my boss, my customers, my cat.....I can't explain something I don't even fully understand. Ok, really this is the end of my rant......poor thing, you wanted a few examples and I wrote my own book in response lol:) Ok, I'm off to chase some butterflies....but first I gotta find what the heck I did with my net.....

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Thank you for being so honest! Your analogies are awesome by the way, I think it's an ADDer thing; somehow we just have the ability to put things into terms that are unique and make perfect sense. But back to what I was going to say; I deal with that attitude with my Mom. She is the only one out of five in the family that doesn't have ADHD or Bipolar, and acts like she is the victim and makes us all out to be stupid and simple to understand stuff. Last night she had me read a paper she was writing for class and wrote (not verbatim), "I don't summarize in my papers because at home everyone has attention deficit and doesn't understand summaries." And that is her attitude towards ADHD all the time. She treats us ADDers like we can't do the things that she can cause we are broken! Yet she and I are both in college and I have a 4.0 at art school! She is so selfish! Does she not realize how hurtful it is to read something like that as an ADDer? I don't understand why if she has been surrounded with ADHD for most of her life why she doesn't take the time to understand it or understand us. She makes me so mad!!!

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My husband tells me I come up with the weirdest and strangest analogies, but they work. I came up with an analogy for ADD: ADHD is like a wild mustang, if you don't do anything with it, you won't get anything but wildness from it; but if you take the time to train it and control it, you can get good things from ADHD.

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I hate it when I can't get done what I want to. Sometimes I try to schedule out my day, and at night when I'm going to bed I haven't gotten anything done and feel like I failed at getting stuff done. Sometimes I'm more mad at me than you are!

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I hate being late everywhere I go! It's embarrassing, frustrating, and stresses me out. Plus, I miss important things, like the beginning of meetings, church talks, etc. Worst of all, I'm in trouble at work most of the time. Believe me, this isn't my deliberate choice.

Part of my problem is I have IBS, which frequently causes last minute dashes to the bathroom, when I'm supposed to be leaving. I'm also extremely prone to distractibility, and have absolutely no sense of time. If I stop at the store to pick up something, I end up staying longer, just browsing. The same thing happens when I go to the library. I also zone out easily, especially when I'm on the Internet, especially on Facebook. A few minutes checking up on things too easily becomes hours, and I'm barely aware of time passing. This also happens when I'm on the phone.

On the other hand, my natural ability to hyper-focus makes me a good student, and good at things that I'm really interested in. So, I guess it isn't all bad.

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