Hello everyone, my name is Gabriel and I am a 23 year old male. This is the fourth attempt to write this post, I got distracted on the other attempts and lost my line of thought - And I was basically writing my whole life, and I don't want to bore you guys with it, so I'm going to be as simple as possible this time.

It all began when my flat mate (who happened to be a psychologist doing post-grad) told me that there was a strong possibility of me having ADHD. Those words kept reverberating in my head for about two years before doing some actual research on it.

When I did the research I became overwhelmed with a joyful feeling of finally having found an answer. It was like I reading about my life style word for word, ever since I was a baby until this very day. I feel very underachieved today as I dropped out 3 universities, I did very bad in school in general (simply because I couldn't pay attention, and the harder I tried the harder it got and I started to get sleepy). You know those symptoms you read for ADHD? I have them all and I experience them with great frequency.

I spent 5 months of my life doing a self analysis, reviewing my life. Wait, It gets worse - my mother have it (and her symptoms are transparent, it's easy to tell she have ADHD), my brother also have it. We did tons of tests that we found on the internet, did more research about the subject and the bottom line is: I was never so sure about something on my entire life as I am about having ADHD.

I would gladly list all the symptoms I have with examples from real life, but it would be very boring, so I am skipping that part.

The problem began:

As I got 100% sure of this diagnostics I knew that something had to be done about it, so I scheduled a shrink, in fact, I scheduled 2 shrinks, one Tuesday and one Wednesday.

The Tuesday shrink:

As I entered his room he sized me up right away, I started to feel uneasy and had trouble talking normally. I didn't want to show a drug seeking behavior, so I started to tell him all the symptoms I suffered from (that fits the diagnostics of ADHD), and told him that it was those symptoms that brought me to him and that I wanted to know what it was (I knew what it was, I just wanted him to say it). The whole half an hour that I spent there I kept playing with my hands and often drifting away as he spoke to me. We then concluded the consult with him telling me that I needed psychotherapy and If I wasn't happy with him I could seek another professional. I left his office very irritated to be honest, and spent half of the day like that.

The Wednesday shrink:

As I met this woman she seemed very gentle and very kind, I liked this shrink right away. This time I brought a note pad with all the ADHD symptoms I feel with frequency (if I had to depend on memory alone I would list 3 symptoms and forget the rest). She started to ask me questions about my life and I replied them, we spent about half an hour talking about my life with no symptom listing. I tried to force my way into this one by telling her the truth about my psychologist friend telling me about ADHD, about my research, about how it fits my life style, then I started to list the symptoms to her. As I was telling her the fourth symptom and listing examples she stopped me, and said that we should do a psychoanalysis, and that she thinks it's more possible that I have a depression than ADHD (She didn't even bother to listen to my symptoms). I spent the whole day frustrated because of it, and spent about 3 hours in bed thinking about it before finally falling asleep.

But of course, it all makes sense now, I was probably born depressive! - Sarcasm.

After those two frustrated attempts to seek help I am very sad, I know and I am sure of what I have, I need help to make my life style better, but WHO will be able to help me if not a shrink?

Sorry for the size of this post, if it was up to me to read it I'd probably skip it :(. Btw, I tried going to church, wanna know how that went? I couldn't sit still, I had to go outside for fresh air every 20 minutes, if I stayed inside I couldn't pay attention to the preaching and I would get very sleepy. Anyone spare me an advice?

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