To "I just beat myself up":

I can't offer any advice or solution to lessen your pain, but just want you to know that you're not alone in this. I, too, have hit myself repeatedly when deeply upset with something I've done (or more likely, haven't done). These moments are almost always the result of having messed up--AGAIN--and are directly attributable to my ADHD. Procrastinating to the point of missing deadlines, the frantic scramble to be somewhere after having lost track of time, having misplaced something urgently important and needing it NOW. On a few occasions I've been able to take a step back, so to speak, and stop the self-punishment, but more often than not, I feel I deserve it for being "weak", "stupid" and "lazy".

I continue to struggle with feelings of self loathing which are further compounded with the shame of physically hurting myself even after years of therapy and medication. I haven't completely given up hope of one day to learn to like myself and changing my behavior. All I can say is do what you can to get the help and support you need. It's just too damn hard to go it alone. Best of luck to to you, my friend!

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Seek help there is therapy. You might have borderline personality disorder. Dialectical behavior therapy helps you get control of your emotions. You can't fix this alone.

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Wow. I think I know how you feel. I don't lash out quite as much as you, but I do hit my face and head sometimes. Just because...well, I just hate this physical body. It's so freaking dysfunctional. Nothing about me seems to WORK. The ADD is a physical dysfunction of the brain, and I really don't consider it to be a psychological problem. I also have migraines and hormone problems and a whole host of other physical problems. And I just hate it. I guess you could say I hate myself, but I have almost mentally separated my SELF from this body I happen to live in. I don't really hate myself... just this THING I'm attached to. I wish I was dead most days, but it's not because I want to kill myself. It's just because phsycal existance sucks ass. People who never experienced this level of crapped-up existence would never understand. Prozac doesn't work, because it doesn't fix the problem...which is physical. Sorry I'm not much help with advice. I just wanted to let you know that I understand, and you're not alone.

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