Your son's story sounds so familiar - I can't tell you how many parents and now-grown young adults have written us with stories of complete burn-out in college due to unmanaged ADD symptoms and a general lack of organization/structure/confidence. Your son is not alone, but there are also so many success stories of folks who figured it out, went back to school and graduated successfully.

ADDitude has put together this ADHD College Survival Guide just for teens like your son.

I also really like this personal story from an ADDitude reader: I Knew I Was Smart: ADHD College Success Story.

As for letting your son make his own choices (and mistakes), this is a tough one. Of course you want to protect him, but 'fixing things' is sometimes not a real help if he needs to learn planning skills and consequences for his actions.

I would recommend this article: ADHD Teen Help: Parenting Young Adults with ADD You can find more like it here.

Finally, on the topic of lying. Yes, lying is sometimes tied to ADHD. Often, we find this more commonly in younger children, but that's not always the case. The Summer issue of ADDitude featured a great article about the motivations/reasons behind lying and how parents can best respond: The Truth About Your ADHD Child's Lying.

I hope this helps and that you're able to successfully get your son back on a medication that works for him. Structure is so important, so maybe having him at home is a good thing - but only if he learns how to replicate that structure and order on his own so that he can return to college and/or independence!

Best of luck!

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I have 3 sons, all diagnosed with ADD. My oldest son recently graduated from college, my second son from highschool, and the third is entering highschool. Both of my older sons took Concerta, and they both had a very rough time with the depression. If there were signs of it before they went on it, we never saw it, bt after they were on it, it was dangerously obvious. We did the regular 4 hours Ritalin or the Ritalin LA after that. Although my older son did not feel that he needed the medication, the only semester in HS that he made the honor roll was the semester that he was taking the regukare Ritalin. Now, for college... he too struggled in his first year, further complicated by a girlfriend. But, by his second year, we had some success, and it got progressively better. I had him call me after his first week and we would both put important dates on both of our calendars from his imstructors hand-outs or websites. I know that it is probably seen as micro-managing, but then I would call him or text him with reminders. I also bought him a large desk calendar that he kept on his coffee table (not his desk) and he added info to that too. In the 2nd semester of his sophmore year, I just reminded him of tests/papers. He got into the habit of marking everything down, putting it on his calendar on his phone, etc. In the first semester of his soph year, I would ask if he wanted me to call and wake him up for a final, etc., and he did have me do that 2 or 3 times. In his freshman year, he showed up for 2 finals on the wrong day. Also, just FYI, he was also consuming an incredible amount of coke and Dr. pepper, and he took himself off of that and still says that that was the single best move he ever made for his periodic anxiety attacks. These attacks didn't begin until college, happened about twice a week for the first year, and he's only had 1 since he came off tall soft drinks. I just thought I' d mention that since sometimes college kids eat poorly. Don't beat yourself up about trying to help. If he didn't need your help, he would have done great in his freshman year. It's an overwhelming experience for teens that don't struggle with ADD, anxiety, etc. Once he's organized and back on track, you can back off again. He just needs help getting recharged. Most colleges have some resource center that will offer help at whatever level you need. About the lying, we too deal with that with my other son. He makes poor choices, and so we keep an eye on what he's up to. Because of this, he feels that we're breathing down his neck. But, I'm so afraid that if we don't, he will make a decision that will impact the rest of his life. Because he is sure that he is wiser than us and has it under control, he lies and misleads us when he knows we will disapprove of his plans. And, he doesn't seem to learn from his mistakes, remakes them even though he clearly feels bad abot them at the time. That is an exhausting cycle. Not any words of help there. Hang in there.

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Thank you guys for the encouragement! I so needed to hear someone say "It does get better!" It is so hard as a parent to watch your child flounder & fail.

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