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18 Jun 2009 @ 2:36 PM
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| medronica |
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Thu 18th Jun 2009
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Switching Schools Yearly
Hello all. I am new here and in need of support. Background: young, married mom of 11 yr. old son w/ADHD...we reside in Detroit,MI...son has been through 4 schools in 7 yrs....3 in the last 4 yrs. This past yr. he attended Bates Academy,which is one of the best K-8 schools in MI if not the whole country. His grade point average was below a 3.0 the whole school yr and so they sent me a letter saying that they were dismissing him from the school. I knew that this would happen because they have a strict policy about it. Anyway, the problem is that I went to the school and spoke with someone and she basically told me there was nothing else I could do besides making a complaint. I am debating whether or not I should fight the decision or just give up and send him to a neighborhood school. The problem with that is: i love my son very much. Because i love him so, i want the best for him. I feel like he would not get the BEST education at any neighborhood school. He deserves the best and i know that he is capable of doing the work, even though they teach at a higher grade level(ie. if the students are 5th grade they learn 6th grade material). I do not wanna give up on my child, but i'm SOOOO tired. Is it even worth trying if he is so against it. I just picked him up from summer school and he is talking about some other kids are so dumb and the work is so easy(see what i mean). And he likes it that way. I am so afraid that if he does not stay at Bates that everything will go down hill from here. Meaning if he goes back to a neighborhood school he will be getting good grades but the work will not be challenging, and what's the point if it does not work your brain. He will still be getting into trouble, because he finishes the work so quickly and they do not have other things for him to do. He will be hanging with all the "knuckleheads" who eventually turn into statistics, in jail or dead. This is not the future i envisioned for my child. That is what i FEAR the most. I feel like this anxiety that i have has a hold on me. Please tell me if i am worrying to much and trying to put too much pressure on my son. Or if wanting the best education possible for my child trumps everything else.
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2 Jul 2009 @ 12:19 AM
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| hvacgirl |
Join Date:
Wed 1st Jul 2009
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Re: Switching Schools Yearly
Hi, I was intrigued by your comments about your son, so I decided to write. I have a 13 year old son who has been recently diagnosed with ADD. He worried me too because there weren't a lot of good role models in his class and we decided to use School Choice which let us move him to a different school of our choice if they had room in the class. We drive him every day to the neighboring town and the class he is in now is full of good role models and the curriculum is challenging. The good news is that he has blossomed socially and has matured quite a bit, but as the academics get more complex, he "tunes out" because that is what ADD and ADHD are known for and although he is capable of getting good grades when he is very interested in the material, he is also capable of doing very poorly when the material takes a lot of concentration. He also has some reading difficulties which we are addressing with the addition of a tutor. Your letter is very important because I can feel your fear for your son's future, it just "jumps off the page", but you didn't address a couple of key points. Why has your son been changing school districts so many times? Have you moved a lot or is there something else? My son used expressions like "I'm bored" when he couldn't figure out why he was getting poor grades, but I honestly think that your son (along with mine), just feel restless because they have ADHD, not necessarily because all the school work is boring. Is your son having problems with organization? Is he on medication and if so, how has that worked? What do his past teachers say about his schoolwork? It is VERY easy to become emotional and fearful when we see our children not succeeding, but if you can address some specific changes that you would like to see, and then ask the experts to help you design ways of handling these problems, that is a lot more effective than trying to look too much into the future. I look for ideas all the time to help my son and he has offered ideas as well. We have both started to relax now and enjoy life a little more because we both understand that success can take many forms, not just academic. |
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