Well I'll tell you it's not easy! My oldest son is the "normal" one and then my youngest is the ADHD and then some child. In my case, the little one annoys the older one. Which is quite reverse for most siblings but then again nothing in my house is normal so why not. I have found that physical seperation is the key to a less stressful environment some times. Then I can talk to them individually and they can have my undivided attention in their rooms. It usually works well for me as they tend to unite after being seperated for awhile as they do like to interact with one another when they are bored. My youngest rarely gets any chores done and my oldest is getting better. That is simply repetition on your part with your youngest to get it done. If you've noticed repetition really is the key word with ADHD kids in almost every aspect of their lives and knowing their triggers always helps. As for trying to balance it's tough! I try periodically to do things with each of them seperately. I'll take my older son with me to the store or I might take my younger but not at the same time these days. Seperated they are nearly equal but together one can see the difference. Hope this helps.

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Here are a few resources that might help you find balance between your ADHD child and your non-ADHD child. It is important to find that balance. A 2002 study in the Journal of Attention Disorders found a significant link between the severity of a child's ADHD and the degree of conflict among the siblings, the mother and child with ADHD, and the non-ADHD child and the mother.

Sibling Revelry

The Other Child

I hope this helps. Dena

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Thanks to you both for your advice, I really appreciate the time it took to help me out. We are working on implementing the alone time plan and some of the recommendations in the articles.

Thanks Again!!!

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I have a similar situation: my daughter is 10 & 15 months older than my son, she gets A's & B's & is very tidy & never has to be nagged about doing homework, she's somewhat of a perfectionist. My son is almost 9, get's C's & D's in school & is textbook ADHD, he takes Concerta on school days ( we call it his "chill pill" ) and I have to follow up every chore I ask him to do, he hates taking a shower & lies about homework. So what do I do, several things, I got him into Big Brothers/Big Sisters & he meets his Big Brother every Sunday. This is a great program for him because even though he has a great dad, his Big Brother has the patience to spend fun time with him weekly, & he tells his Big Brother things he might not tell me, then his Big Brother e-mails me on Monday & tells me what they did & what he learned. I also do this for his self esteem & it really has worked well for him & makes him feel special. Also when I do school work with him I do it when his sister isn't around so he doesn't feel bad. I have ADHD & he feels better knowing that it's no big deal, that I have it, Tye Pennington has it & so does Michael Phelps. Don't make a big deal out of your daughter's weaknesses & treat her for the terrific kid she is. My daughter often says I'm "too soft" on her brother, but it's a balancing act, so just hang in there & treat both kids with lots of hugs & praise, then go in a closet & SCREAM!!!

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