My grandson is only 5 years old, yet he has such anger it's hard to understand. If anyone crosses him at all, he punches (his mom and or me); throws furniture, looks around for objects to break.

I know he loves me, he greets me when he comes home, gets close to cuddle. As soon as I tell him no about something - he screams, shrieks, hits. He is on Vyvanse each day, but by the afternoon, it's really awful. My daughter (just found out she has ADHD, too) is learning to cope with patience; but I'm afraid of his hurting us and or someone in class or outside the house.

I need to learn skills to cope with him. I read these forums daily and my heart goes out to some of you.

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I have a son that is 12 almost 13 and in the last few months it has become apparent that he is more and more disrespectful. I have no answers but I sure do spend alot of time lookng for them. I have tried the positive reinforcement, the punishment, we are in family therapy but none of it seems to really phase him. I have often wondered what happened. I am almost afraid to say it but he may be testing for boundries. If anyone has answers I would also love the help.

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I have a son that is 12 almost 13 and in the last few months it has become apparent that he is more and more disrespectful. I have no answers but I sure do spend alot of time lookng for them. I have tried the positive reinforcement, the punishment, we are in family therapy but none of it seems to really phase him. I have often wondered what happened. I am almost afraid to say it but he may be testing for boundries. If anyone has answers I would also love the help.

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I really do; but I feel I don't . I have heard of a program how to change our kids on TV and this psychologist feels he can have them acting respectfully in a few week time ; for some reason I think it works in a week. I rememeber when I was kid if I got disrespectful I had hell to pay ; but I never really yelled or screamed if I was told no. I know one thing if it is"no" don't change it to yes because you will only reinforce this behavior. I would also let them finish what ever it is they are asking and answer only after they finished. I wouldn't cut them off in the midddle with a no because they may feel they aren't being listened too. Temper tantrums are usually a thing you see in 2-3 year olds ; but the reason I bring it up is because they are having melt downs and haven't learned how to reign in there feeling. Do you think maybe the case. It is said when a tantrum occurs just make sure the child can't hurt themselves or other and let it play out. when it over just let them know the tantrum hasn't changed your mind. If they storm to their room let them. And if they are able to calm down it maybe to your benefit to assist in aquiring the skills to deal with these melt downs because they do need them when they are adults. It may not be the best advice ; but it the only thing I know is for ADD/ADHD it not easy to keep it together.When I get angry I learned to bite my inner lip so I don't say something I will regret . I hiowever do still stamp off to be alone if I don't get what I want at times. Good Luck

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Both of my sons (ages 10 and 11) are ADHD, and since they're only a year apart, they're constantly fighting. We've always had a problem with the older one being insolent and disrespectful at times, while at other times he's tender and sweet. I realized that he gets most disrespectful when he feels set aside or powerless; since I've enlisted his help more heavily in cooking, doing dishes, and household repairs, he feels more responsible and --surpinsingly -- is more respectful and better able to control his temper. His self-esteem soared after I let him replace the water faucet in his bathroom! My younger son, on the other hand, has an anxiety disorder along with the ADHD; possibly even bipolar disorder, but it's hard to truly nail down all the comorbid disorders that can exist alongside ADHD. Whatever, he's always had meltdowns occasionally. His school counselor started charting them and found that they always occur during the week of the new moon, every fourth week like clockwork. That's also the fourth week of my menstrual cycle, although I don't suffer from PMS too badly, so I didn't think he was picking up on my mood. Regardless, we noticed that the meltdowns that usually lasted a couple hours suddenly started lasting for days. Then he threatened suicide. It turned out he was reacting to his medication -- he was on Focalin -- and it was exacerbating his anxiety and making him more irritable. We switched him to Vyvanse, and I took him to a pediatric psychiatrist. Because he has a history of anxiety and anger control, she prescribed Riperdal along with the Vyvanse. Risperdal is useful for evening out anger issues, but it does increase appetite. For my son, that was a good thing, because he didn't eat on most stimulant medications. He still has tempers during the fourth week of the month, but they aren't as severe and he no longer wants to die to escape the horrible feelings he has. He knows it will pass, and that he has to try to keep the issue in perspective; the Risperdal lets him hang on to a sense of perspective instead of becoming lost in his emotions.

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You are not alone. My teen son disrespects my DH and myself. When he is getting what he wants, he is usually okay, but look out when he doesn't.! He does eventually do as we tell him to do,as long as we do not argue with him, but only give him the facts. Sometimes he tries to draw us into an arguement, but we just stick to the facts. He usually eventually does what he was told to do, but tries to not let us know it. He is not one to apologize, although I know I taught him to, although sometimes his way of apologizing is to cut the lawn for us without being asked.

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