This process of discovery that feels to us like finding the Holy Grail can threaten the status quo of all the other relationships in our lives, especially with those closest to us who have endured our dark side for so long. People get stuck in their assessments of our "character flaws" and in their roles in our lives and don't like new information rocking the boat. At 57 and suddenly aware of what has driven my irrational behavior all my life, I find that my wife of 16 years is refusing to accept it - she won't read any of the literature on ADHD and considers it a "convenient excuse". Hopefully my neurologist can convince her otherwise. I hate to think of how she's going to buy the concept of comorbidity...

Quote

My wife doesn't like me to talk about it too much - she wants me to address it. She accepts many aspects of it, but other parts are just too much for her to continually manage.

The best solution for me has been to get a coach. When I get a bit obsessive about some component of my AD/HD I talk it out with her. I also found that having the right level of medication makes it easier to reduce my chattiness.

Quote

Anxiety is a common comorbid condition. You aren't alone in that aspect of your disorder.

Here is some information that might help you get control over that anxiety.

ADHD and Anxiety

Diagnonsing Related Conditions in ADHD Adults

Worried, Read This

If you are willing and able to try meditation, some ADHD adults claim it has a profound effect on their anxiety issues.

I hope this helps. Dena

Quote

Hi. I can definately understand what you are going through. I was diagnosed with adhd when I was 12. I have been on medication ever since. I am 24 now. You should try medication it has definately helped me especially with concentration and organistation as well as with relationships and socialising I don't know if these are the things you have problems with?. I still suffer from anxiety and sometimes become upset for no reason even when things are going ok. I still struggle with organisation quite a bit but it's getting better, Only one of my friends knows about the adhd and he doesn't really understand. What I found helpful to my adhd is to cut out dairy products as I am allergic to them anyway as well as sugary foods such as lollies, chocolate. I know about the neck problems I has this for two years and the anxiety and stress made it worse. I hope this helps

Quote

I am also new here and kind of in the same boat as you. I was diagnosed with bi-polar a while back and have been taking all sorts of meds for it but nothing seems to work. Eventually I came across some info on ADHD and now I am confused...thinking it is way more like me!! Maybe that is why the meds arent working. People in my life are kind of sick of hearing about the "fake excuse" . My sis understands mental issues and tries to keep my spirits up about it. But sometimes it gets a little frustrating hearing people telling me to get over it. Keep your head up. You are on the right track now and should be seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm glad I found this website to get information and advice on places to go, questions to ask and things to do to find out my true diagnosis. Hopefully you feel the same. Good luck!!

Quote

Hi,

I am also 25 years-old and was diagnosed with ADD when I was 7. Although we differ in the fact that I was diagnosed young, I do know what it’s like to suddenly realize you have a problem and accept it! For me it was about accepting it. My dad and mother both had a really hard time understanding the ADD, they tried to get help for me but it wasn’t like I was miraculously cured.

I also suffered from OCD when I was in my adolescence. I was never diagnosed, but I had at least 10 rituals that would rule my days and I was deathly afraid of death. I grew out of it, but I am about 95 per cent sure I would have been diagnosed with it if I wouldn’t have hid it from everyone (I also had panic attacks, those were harder to hide).

I still suffer from some anxiety today but I have learned to deal with it on my own. I suggest yoga! The breathing strategies will help immensely!

Long story short, my advice for you is that once you personally accept you have ADD or whatever is going on, it really doesn’t matter what others think. No matter who you admit it too, there will always been one person who doesn’t believe it exists or thinks it’s a lame excuse.

The most important thing to do is not obsess about making everyone else believing you have a problem, it’s showing your loved ones the potential you have and accepting you yourself has a problem.

There is a point where you need to make a goal and just stick with it. Get all the special assistance you need and try to find just one person who believes in you. That's all you need! You need to realize how smart you really are and start discovering what you are really good at! For me it was going back to University that changed my life.

My parents didn’t give me the same expectations they gave my older sister. She had to go to University. I chose to go and although I went a few years out of high-school. I am almost done my first degree. Going back to University helped me realize the potential I had and it has made me see that I can go further on to get a Masters (I want to help kids with speech disorders). My GPA went from a 2.5 in high-school to a 3.7 in University.

I still struggle with ADD, but it’s not the biggest problem in my life anymore. If anything, it’s something I am proud of because it’s really shaped who I am and it has made me a really strong, independent person! I’ll tell anyone, because it doesn’t matter if they don’t believe you. It’s your life, not there’s!

I hate to make this longer but, my boyfriend didn’t believe in ADD when we first started dating. He sometimes still doesn’t think I have it, because I have been working so hard on it! The longer we date the more he notices some of my idiosyncrasies and the more I push this book about ADD on him. He has gotten to a point where he believes me but he still doesn’t like the fact I take medication. If you are in a relationship I think it is important to talk to them about it. If they can’t accept you for who you are, they aren’t worth it!

Quote