I am in the same situation except we have just begun the fun journey of finding meds that might work. It has only been 1.5 mos with our 5.5 year old and the XR Adderall isn't working. The talking is so excessive as well as the negative behavior. The worst part is that I find myself thinking sometimes that I just don't like him anymore. I feel guilty for feeling like that but it is taking every ounce of energy out of me. When he is sweet, he is sooooo sweet but in less than an instance, it changes. Please let me know if you find any other remedies or tactics! Good luck to you.

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Hello, both of you give yourself a break. Children under 7 are a challenge and kids with add are so energetic and talkative that it is easy to get overwhelmed. My daughter was diagnosed at age 7 and we started out with concerta and its worked for us although we have had to increase the dosage twice. As to what to do when you have one on one time I say get silly.Read a lot to them I signed my daughter up at the library for the free reading program and I read 28 books a month to her and helped her memorize the dialogue. Every kid i met who has add has a great sense of humour and a big imagination. Play tent and keep a story line going who is visiting the tent stuffed animals or imaginary people. Music is key and dancing keep their sense of joy and get out their energy.If you need some quiet time ask for it in a kind way.Cook with them go out and look at nature now that summer is here.For sleep problems try the usual warm baths, aromatherapy, you can still rock them and cuddle them no matter how brief. Also pray for patience and the ability to love even when they are being oppositional or crabby.I would tell my daughter she had big hairy bugs up her but and they needed to be pulled out.Be kind to yourself and remember they are a gift and incredibly original and funny and struggle every day in a very confusing world with lots of rules.Good luck both of you....

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I have 7-year-old boy with adhd. I also have adhd myself. It's interesting because I found out I had it when he got his diagnoses and I am 37. From ages 3 until about the last year or so, it has been a roller coaster. I think that there were always clear differences in him compared to the majority of children. I am talking about the level of overactiveness. He is friendly and outgoing, even now he will hold a 10 minute conversation with a total stranger. My son is not on medicine-we just haven't gotten there. One of the best books I have read for understanding adhd and why modification is so important is "Taking charge of adhd". I know you had mentioned trying different meds., also the behavior modification teaches them in a positive way to do what they need to do to survive. Starting now when they are small gives them a better chance to enhance self esteem while bringing structure to the entire families life. I have been in personal counseling along with seeing a psychiatrist for parent training. It has been worth every penny. When you said that you felt like you couldn't be around him; it really hit home for me! When he was younger I cried all the time because I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong, when I was in public people looked at me as if to say- can't you get control of your kid? It has taken a long time for me to say that I do really enjoy my son now. It also took alot of work that I had to do by myself because my family and my husband thought he was just being a boy (right?) My husband works until 9 at night and I also have a younger daughter. Please know you are not alone and I think most moms who have an extremely active adhd child really understands! Also, you might want to consider finding an expert doctor in adhd. You will have a better chance to get your hands on some tools to make everyone's life easier. Get away if you can for some quiet time or something just for you. You won't be any good to anybody if you don't get a chance to diffuse. You obviously love him very much or you wouldn't be looking for a better way!! Take care.

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I don't know your family situation, but I would find out if you could maybe get some respite care. If you can't get respite care is there someone who would be willing to take your child for a couple of hours on a weekend so you get a break? For the sleeping aid, my daughter has tried melatonin and it works. It was suggested by her psychiatrist.

We have to remember to take care of ourselves, otherwise we are no help to our children. I wish you luck in finding the right treatment. My daughter has been on many different medications, it is all trial and error.

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I too tried the melatonine and it really didn't work? How long does it take to kick in? Your also right about getting me time because i go crazy at times, and overwhelmed!

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When our ADHD son was born, he had an 18-month old brother and a 3-year old brother. Since he was a baby, he had poor eye contact & as he grew up, he played mostly on his own. He didn't communicate much, which made me feel inadequate in not knowing much about who he was inside. By the age of 5, compared to his brothers, it was obvious that he had problems retaining short-term info. And shopping with him was a nightmare (& still is) because he disappears on me! He's now 9 and starts Grade 4 in the Fall. He talks more now, and I better understand his personality. I totally agree with the comment that ADHD children are creative and imaginative. I'd like to add that our son is also refreshingly innocent, he's not as wordly as one of his brothers -- he doesn't care about impressing others or fitting in. And he has a heart of gold. He frustrates me enormously (he has to be constantly reminded of the simplest chore). But, I'm sure I must frustrate others with my faults. I know he means well and generally, he seeks to please. I've bought him an expensive watch recently, that vibrates when a reminder to do something shows up on the little screen: www.watchminder.com We'll see if it helps him in Grade 4, to get ready for school & follow the classroom routine. A very encourageing book is "Superparenting for ADD: An Innovative Approach to Raising Your Distracted Child" (by Dr. Edward Hallowell, who himself had ADD). I keep trying different things... One project this summer will be to watch with him some videos that model good social skills: www.modelmekids.com As another mom commented, you need to take care of yourself to have the energy to care for your son. Can you afford to pay a teenager to take him to a park? Could he swim regularly? How about a small indoor mini-trampoline? You will be his best advocate during his childhood because you know him best. A good example of a Mom who loved her "different" child unconditionally was Thomas Edison's mom (he had symptoms of ADHD). A charming B&W movie, "Young Tom Edison", helped our whole family better appreciate our special son. I feel for you. I suffer from mild depression, but it's kept in check by medication (and a daily mid-afternoon nap). We've tried 5 medications for our son, but his side-effects were bad. We're not giving up though. We're waiting to meet with yet another psychiatrist to try something else. I must say that I've noticed that our son has matured and improved in certain ways. Even if we can never help him with medication, a pediatrician told me that up to 30% of children with ADHD can outgrow it by the time they're in their teens. Please don't try to be a perfect parent. And your son doesn't have to be a perfect student. The best gift you can give him is your unconditional love. That will give him the courage to go after his dreams. RE: Sleep -- Luckily, our son loves books; I try to get a new batch of books from the public library every 2 weeks so that he can take a couple books to bed with him (he especially loves comic books like "Tintin", "Asterix & Obelix" or the Marvel classics like "Spiderman"). Even if your son isn't reading yet, picture books can be relaxing (the "DK" books on many different topics are a hit around here). Something else that helps around here is humour! I'm lucky to have a husband who makes us laugh; it helps diffuse tension. You might appreciate picking up for yourself a book of collected "Calvin & Hobbes" comic strips from the library. Calvin must have ADD because he's often lost in his imaginary world! And finally, as a recovering perfectionist who recently lost both parents, 6 months apart, let's remember that our time here is short and precious. Enjoy your son for who he is. And God is pleased that you are doing as best you can in your own circumstances. God bless you both.

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There are some really great suggestions here! I love the idea of the music and dancing. When i remember to do that we all seem to feel better and have more fun. You say you already get outdoors and run and walk--that's good as well. My only other suggestion is try to take some time every now and then (even just an hour a month) to have a massage or a facial or pedicure...something just for you where you can let your mind relax and pamper yourself. Also, I think that in most cases (I know in ours) there are times when things seem especially rough, but other times when the behavior "smooths out". Try to remember that there will be those ups and downs, and when things seem particularly bad, "this too shall pass". Hang in there : )

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I thank you to all of you and your ideas, it means alot! I am taking things day by day but really I had nervous breakdown and got sick again with the chrohn's disease from the stress. I feel myself not wanting to be around my son at all these days and always feel like I am always yelling everyday.... I really need to learn how to calm myself down with him and just be patient or do things the right way instead of the wrong... Nothing seems to work??? The daily routine, stickers, reward system, time-outs, nothing!!! I am eager for something to come along that works and will read a book that will just help me....I even try to go to church on sundays to give myself a break and I don't get that break... I wnted to go to church to find that peace inside of me, and feel the good in me rather than a mom who is always filled with anxiety... I have tried all of what you said you've all done, and nothing works, nothing??? The meds didn't work, but I am getting him back into the doctors to get a different med... I will keep trying but in the mean time I need to get myself help with my anxiety as well to cope a little better... I feel HORRIBLE OF HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW!

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Go to Celebratecalm.com. Even if you cannot afford the cd's, get on his mailing list. I cannot tell you how many of his little emails have hit home with me. He has a great way of stepping outside of the box and offering new tools to help create a calm house. He reminds us that we are not responsible for our children's happiness or behavior. He offers ways to guide our children with choices and allowing them to accept the consequences of those choices. His son is AD/HD & this all stemmed from feeling his house was out of control. I also went and saw him speak once. I found it very worth while.

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Hello i am Ron, I was and still am at the age of 51, i eas dianosed about two years ago and now understanding what is inside of me its great, I remember my whole life from the age of about three, I was bouncing off the walls talking all the time even when I was asleep but I never thought anyone was ever listening and I as a child was more frustrated than you as an adult, try to see him from the inside I mean the inside of yourself and you will see the gift inhim as well as you, it is not a coinsidence that you are the parent hear the reason in your heart. I know it is so so so hard I even get tired of hearing myself talking all the time but I always look for the good in everthing eeven myself because if we look for the bad it is just to easy. I had and still do have a ton of knowledge and love to share and I AM SURE your child has the same it is much harder for us because not many people understand or dont even care, please look deep let him explore let him run not just at the gym but in nature and most of all the FAMILY I was always pushed away by my family except for my Grandmother she saw the real me and she let me be free and she loved me so much I still feel that love 24/7 they call this stuff attention deficeit because we all want attention but we need more there is never enough for me I crave attention I crave touching hugging love family thete is never enough. I hope you can understand what I am saying just relax enjoy the journey dont push it down lift it up there is nothing more beautiful to the eye than a childs smile oh yea one more thing I am 51 on the outside and 14 on the inside so live young go out and play life is LOVE. PEACE

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Happiness a choice Selfish are we to be alone Open the heart and see family Blended thru one blood All one are we free Care is comfort to share Defined love is time Make then the choice priority set Break chains release fear To end old begin new Believe in dreams Look blind feel love in all Brain in heart blend Infinite soul control What can I do for you be true Temporary frame don’t waste Hear the heart do your part Love is love forever for us Family are we lets be

-Ronald Sorenson A.D.D. Poet www.a-d-d-free.com

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When your cup is empty it cannot flow into the lives of others. Keep your cup filled up and get all the rest, exercise, joy, and support you can. It is not selfish, but oh so very necessary! My daughter is 30 now. She was DX with ADD and oppositional behavior at 11. I was told by friends and pastors not to medicate her but to be a strong disciplinarian with her. I also went to a church that believed in spiritual warfare, and it taught me how to pray for her as if her behavior was from the evil one. It did look that way at the time, but even though prayer helped, it only backed fired on me later when she told people I was trying to cast the devil out of her. That hurt my career as a nurse and family relationships. My mother inlaw even disinherrited us! Our daughter now has a soon to be 8 year old son who has the same diagnosis. He is a sweet little boy who is also run by impulses, lack of attention, and a strong desire to be difient. His dad, a state trooper, does not believe in ADD and refuses this boy medication. The boy just gets in trouble a lot when dad gets on him. Oh course the dad hates me and blames the way his wife and son are on me. His wife is not medicated, and still spends and eats uncontrolably. She talks a hundred miles per hour and is always overwired. She states she can't control her self. Her husband makes her exercise in front of him and he keeps money from her so she can't get fast food. However, she ran up 10,000 dollors on credit cards to hide her spending on food and impulsive stuff for her likes. Our 2nd and youngest child does not have ADD, but was severely affected by the strife we had in our home. She tried to be the really good child, but when she turned 18 she went wild and rebelled. She is still in rebellion at 28 and hates us too. She even had 2 of her guys attack me. One almost killed me at an ice skating rink by tripping me. I have neck and spine issues now and always will due to that. Her new husband attacked me recently and said all kinds of untrue hateful things to me and put me into a state of shock. I can't stop crying. If only I would have gotten my oldest daughter the medication and help that she needed many years ago, life would make more sense and we would all have more peace. I was only 18 when she was born, and I was young and dumb. But please do not deny ADD or ADHD. It is a chemical imbalance in the brain. Just like a person who has diabetes. if medication helps, try it. If it seems too strong for the child, let the MD cut it back and gradually increase. Many people who have ADD are sensitive to medications. They sometimes need lower doses to start with. If the MD fights you on that, find another who will work with you. You know your child better than anyone else. I sometimes still go to CHAD meetings. I recommend them for support. Most of us do or did the best we could with the resourses we had. Life in this category is hell and never easy. many ups and downs. Forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made and do not let others judge you till they walked a mile in your shoes! Remember it is ADD/ADHD that gets beteewn you and your child. Not you or the child.

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Have you considered Omega 3 fish oil? The caplets are big, but if you go to the health food stores, apparantly you can get it in liquid. It is worth a try. While it won't work right away, as ritilan does, it usually takes a couple of weeks, but then again, if you do nothing you will be ahead in a couplle of weeks by trying it. Ask your doctor what they think. Good Luck. At least yours is young enough that you can make him take his meds. If this works you may not need anything by the time he is a teenager. I did not know of this when my son was younger. I feel for you. Like I said. Good Luck. elizabeth

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I REALLY HEAR YOUR FRUSTRATION AND DESPERATION., YOU ARE NOT ALONE AND WE ALL CAN UNDERSTAND AND APPRECIATE WHERE YOU ARE. FINDING THE RIGHT MED CAN TAKE TIME, MY SON COULD NOT DO ANY OF THE EXTENDED MEDS, THEY ALL GAVE HIM SIDE EFFECTS, HAVE YOU TRIED JUST SHORT ACTING METHYLPHENIDATE. MY SON IS EXTREMELY HYPER AND AN EXCESSSIVE TALKER AS WELL. IT IS ITHE ONLY DRUG THAT WORKED FOR US. HAVE YOU CHANGED HIS DIET, SOMETIMES THE FOODS HE IS EATING MAY EXACERBATE HIS ENERGY AND BEHAVIOR, 2 OF MY SONS CANNOT HAVE RED DYE, IT MAKES THEM CRAZY. OMEGA 3 ARE HELPFUL AS WELL AS AMINO ACIDS. LOW GYCEMIC FOODS ARE BEST TOO AND YOU MAY SEE LESS HYPERACTIVITY. CALM FORTE IS AN OVER THE COUNTER KIDS SUPPLEMENT THAT HELPS REDUCE ANXIETY AND PROMOTE CLAMNESS. IT HELPS MY SON WHEN HE IS OVER ANXIOUS AND CANNOT SLEEP. I ALSO DO NOT GIVE HIM ANYTHING AFTER DINNER WHICH IS EARLY , ESPECIALLY SUGAR! HAVE YOU GONE TO CHADD? FIND ANOTHER MOM WHO CAN RELATE TO YOU , SHARE IDEAS , SOMEONE YOU CAN CALL WHEN YOU ARE SO FRUSTRATED. GET A SITTER AND TAKE TIME FOR YOU. CELEBRATE CALM IS A WONDERFUL PROGRAM TO HELP TEACH PARENTS HOW TO DISCIPLINE WITHOUT YELLING AND SCREAMING. IT WORKS WHEN YOU REALLY IMPLEMENT IT. STRUCTURE, THESE KIDS NEED STRUCTURE, ORGANIZATION , SCHDULES. LEARN TO WALK AWAY WHEN THEY START ARGUING WITH YOU, SHOW NO EMOTION, THEY WANT YOU TO REACT! I HAVE TO WALK AWAY WHEN MY SON GETS BEYOND MY BREAKING POINT. I WILL SEND HIM OUT TO RUN, JUMP , PLAY TO RELEASE HIS ENERGY BEFORE TRYING TO GET HIM TO DO ANYTHING. HANG IN THERE, YOU ARE A GREAT MOM AND I HOPE YOU FIND HEALING AND PEACE FOR YOURSELF. STRESS I AM SURE AGGRAVATES YOUR HEALTH ISSUES.

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