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Girls Present Differently than Boys
Quote: UncleW said:
There is one activity on which she seems almost incapable of following directions. How to take a shower without soaking the bathroom floor as a result.
Her teachers do report that in class she is inattentave and she is extremely disorganized. One time I was talking to her on the phone when she had to break away to perform some task. She forgot I was on the phone and left me listening to an empty line.
Well, from what you’ve just said, I have a few more ideas. First of all, she only sees you on vacations, summertime, and holidays, so some of the problems she may have are not going to be as apparent. On vacations and holidays, you do not have the same responsibilities and chores as you do on school days. It’s a lot more fun, and even if there are some responsibilities, it’s more exciting and new.
And it appears that she enjoys spending time with you, as you mentioned playing board games for hours. Someone with ADHD can focus if they are doing something they enjoy. You also mentioned making her homework fun. It’s the boring subjects or tasks that are hard for them to focus on. A teacher who makes a subject fun and interesting will not have as many problems with students who have ADHD.
Does she have the hyperactive type of ADHD or the inattentive type? I have the inattentive type of ADHD as does my daughter, who is 27, and my teenage son. Many females have the inattentive type and are more likely to miss being diagnosed because they generally do not cause behavioral problems like hyperactive boys. And some girls who do have the hyperactive type are extremely talkative rather than behaviorally disruptive.
You did say that she had a problem following directions (I can definitely relate to the shower incident) and being absent-minded (where she forgot you were on the phone). Problems following directions, being forgetful, disorganized, and procrastinating are more frequent or occur more often in those who have ADHD than in others of the same age who don’t have ADHD.
My son was very disorganized when it came to his school work. His desk and back pack were horrendous. And half the time he could never find his homework or paper work. My daughter had a room that always looked like a cyclone went through it, and procrastination (on something she didn’t like to do) was a factor that drove me crazy before I understood the reason behind it.
Yet my son’s room was not a mess. Unlike my daughter, my son didn’t have a lot of little things (like nail polish, hair accessories, jewelry, makeup, various shoes and clothing). He was an active kid so his activities revolved around riding his bike, playing outside, swimming, baseball, skateboarding etc. He wasn’t into Lego’s or those types of toys with lots of pieces. And with most boys, a pair of shorts and a t shirt is all they need, and shoes only when necessary. They don’t change outfits or have to match shoes and a purse (in every color). So his room didn’t have a lot of extra stuff in it.
However, he did have a tendency to leave his shoes or swimsuit, towel, etc. at someone’s house. Or, he didn’t have a clue where his shoes were. If my daughter lost her shoes, it meant they were thrown in the back of the closet, under the bed, in the bathroom, or behind the couch. Never where they were supposed to be. But at least they weren’t outside in the neighbor’s back yard.
Avoiding or having trouble starting tasks that are difficult or that involve many steps, like a project or paper for school, (unless it really interests them) was another symptom that could be a nightmare. It was like pulling teeth to get my kids to start a school project or paper. In spite of their intelligence, they didn’t know where to begin or what to do, even with the directions printed out for them by the teacher. I had to walk them through each step. Thankfully, there weren't too many of those but I dreaded them. By the way, once my son started taking medication, he was able to do a school project and have it finished before I even knew he had one to do!! That was a complete turnaround!
The fact that she's a girl (and perhaps only has the inattentive type), is with you during "fun" times, and enjoys spending time with you, not to mention the effort you take to make things more fun for her, would all contribute to seeing less of the problem behaviors that others see. But you did see some things, like the shower problem and being distracted and absent minded when she forgot you were on the phone. And the fact that two separate doctors diagnosed her, and keep in mind that they also take into account what her teachers say, as well as the parents, makes it sound all the more probable that she does have ADHD. In addition, it is usually the parent who has the primary responsibility of dealing with the child (most often, the mother) on a day to day basis with chores, homework, teacher conferences, getting ready for school in the morning, etc. who encounter the most problems with the child. Other adults are not in as many different situations of this type so they are not as likely to see the full range of symptoms that the primary caregiver usually deals with.
Sorry, this ended up being so long. Hope I didn't lose you with all of my rambling.
Elaine
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9 Jun 2009 @ 3:35 PM
11 Jun 2009 @ 4:11 PM