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Thread : ADD or Cheater?  
8 Jun 2009 @ 12:15 AM
Monica55 Join Date: Mon 8th Jun 2009
Threads: 1 Posts: 0
ADD or Cheater?

I'm 29 and I've cheated on every boyfriend I had. After so many attempts in having a happy relationship I went into depression and realized it was just me, so I found someone that loves me and I married him. I thought love was everything but I cheated since the beginning on the relationship. I said I was going to do it at first and then stop after marriage but I didn't, I did for a couple of years because of my children but I started again. The relationship is boring to me, I need a constant stimulation. I know that part is the ADD, I'm taking medication and I'm hoping that would stop. I think it's worked but not completely, I'm talking to someone that I find very interesting and caring. My personality and my constant stimulation problem affects my marriage and I feel bored. I'm wondering if this is something I'm gonna have to go through in life? has anyone experienced this before? I am trying to learn about myself and I don't want to cheap but I like to feel wanted and desired so I look for attention.

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8 Jun 2009 @ 10:21 AM Reply # 1
ADDitude Editor Join Date: Mon 12th Jan 2009
Threads: 2 Posts: 258
Self Esteem

Cheating isn't necessarily a symptom of ADD. However, many adults, particularly women with ADHD, suffer from low self esteem, which may have a negative effect on relationships.

Relationships don't always come easy to adults with ADHD. It takes a lot of effort to make a good relationship work. You might appreciate this article: 10 Ways to Ruin a Good Relationship

Good luck, Dena

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Last edited by ADDitude Editor : 8 Jun 2009 @ 10:23 AM. Reason:
21 Jun 2009 @ 10:44 PM Reply # 2
ADD RN Join Date: Wed 21st Nov 2007
Threads: 11 Posts: 358
CHEATING IS NOT A SYMPTOM Of add/adhd

It is true we need allot of stimulation in a relationship; but it not necessarily a symptom of ADHD. I have a male friend since I was 13 ; but we don't have a sexual relationship. We do hangout with each other; and yes my husband hates it. I won't give up any friend because they are so hard to find. I think you like the exhilarating feeling you get from the lying ; and that is what you are doing to your husband. I don't know how you can make your relationship at home spicy so you won't stray; but it would be to your advantage to do so. It may be cause we find the one we live with to be a task maker and not as fun loving as our other male friends ; however it is advised you should not tell him or her about the affair because it will only hurt them. . I would then break it off with my 'Boyfriend" ; however if this is a very long term relationship I would then tell my significant other and invite him to come out with us. I would also start inviting my significant out and have dates with him. I did that and if he doesn't wan to go out I go out without him. I hope you do find peace ; but remember it not always our ADHD that drives us to bad behavior . Good luck in finding what is really driving you. I am ADHD and like I said it doesn't always drives our behavior. If your relationship doesn't stimulate you may signal that it needs to be chnaged ; but it up to you figure how you want to change it

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