You're very brave and selfless to let your child go. I hope that the two of you will have a good relationship in the future.

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Dear MrsRadiantDiva- I just read your post and want to reach out to you to assure you that you will ALWAYS be William's mother, whether he lives with you or not. Our lives are messy and imperfect, and things happen that shouldn't. But that does not change the fact that you bore and raised this child, and that you will always love him. Do not let the fact that he is temporarily going to live with another family destroy you. He will eventually want to meet you, talk to you, find out about his past and your life. Do not be ashamed of the mistakes that you have made- forgive yourself and move forward. Focus on improving yourself mentally, physically, and spiritually. Be the best you that you can be, so that when the time comes you can look your son in the eye and tell him how hard you have worked to improve your life. I wish only good things for you and your family!

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I HAVE An 8 year old son AND i have applied for SSDI because I lost my JOB of 10 years after they said I could no longer do my JOB after my meds were discontinued and I couldnt get approved for a specialist to get my meds ...SO i signed up for vocational rehabilitation and they said I needed medical help before i couuold work and they forced me to siign up for SSDI and reading your story just now HAs made me panic IF I GET SSDI BECAUSE I AM UNABLE TO WORK ..will THEY TRY TO TAKE MY SON FROM ME??

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I read your story, and I don't want to come off as mean but I became a single father two days after my son was born. Thats when I found out that the mother had another son that the state had taken from her and placed with another family. CPS came into the mothers room with the intent of taking my son with them until the found out that I was the father and I was willing to fight to keep my son. The following six months were like a living hell, with me in court sometimes twice a week while they went after the mother. Six months later the Judge gave me sole custody and the mother refused to pay child support for 4 years. in the 4th year she began getting SSDI and my son started recieveing a check for $154 a month. The mother would have a third child and his benifits were cut to support the other child that has just been adoped by another family. I don't doubt your love for your child, but when will the problems caused by women like you be addressed? sing a sad song but lifes are being harmed and the ones doing the harm are crying for attention. my son will be 10 in a few months and his Mother only wants to ask about him during special times, like Christmas or her birthday. The woman got a check for $18,000 dollars and did not offer her son one dime. Stop looking for pitty and start doing the right thing, get your self right so when you do get a chance to make things better for your child, you are up to it.

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I am not looking for a pitty party in no way shape or form . I was wrongfully taken advantage by some one whom I was very close to , how ever what hurts me the most if the fact that my son was wrongfully taken advantage of , abused and neglected . The only way she was able to get away with what she did , was because she put pulled my partner into the middle of it using his past criminal record to make me look like an unfit parent , just because the man whom I've been with for 8 yrs has a past criminal record . The state of NC as well as DSS used my ADD & my partner's ADHD as a mental illness and considered us unfit parents , even tho I have no criminal record and have never been in trouble . My Disability factor was stated in court that I am on disability for my ADD but was not used against me simply because I have medical files to support this . I did do a physch Eval which DSS recommended and the judge asked for ( how ever have not seen the results of that physch eval ) Now when DSS recommended my son be put up for adoption , and I knew that no matter how many assesments my partner & I did, DSS would nor the court would not consider the assesments enough , so I took the whole adoption recomendation and turned it arround . I told DSS that the only way i would give up my son was if I wrote down what kind of people I wanted to raise my son . Since I come from a big chrstian family , I have alot of values that I grew up with , that I greatly believe in and want my son to be raised by people who I feel exercise those values and have a big family such as myself . I am very thankful that DSS did go to my defense as far my ex( my son's biological father) paying child support - Now my ex is having no choice but to pay child support . Now I will be honest , I will fully admit mystakes as a parent but @ the time I was doing what I felt was best for my son , Now some one else might have done something different , how ever you were not there in my life during those times so you can't sit there and judge me , because you were not in my shoes . The only reason why I gave my son to begin with was it was what he wanted - I know that part of being a parent some times means sacroficing so to do what is best for your child . I love my son very much and want nothing for him but joy and happiness in his life , I want him to have access of all the wonderful opertunites that life has to offer . The last thing I wanted was my life and things that were going on in my life to hold him back . I am sorry you went through the whole situation with your son , it's sad that childran get taken away from parents that are only trying to do what is right by their child , unlike all those childran out there who are left with true unfit parents .

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I don't understand this thread. Unless a parent, or a couple, is involved in illegal activities, or abusing or neglecting a child, how can DSS suggest putting the child in foster care? What's the connection between being ADD/ADHD and being an unfit parent?

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Essentually DSS got word that abuse was going on in the home that my son was @ with his guardian . My son's guardian & her partner were abusive and neglectiul to my son - which I agreeded that my son definately needed to be taken out of the home , how ever when ever DSS got word that I was ADD ( according to my very close friend who had guardianship of my son I had horrible mood swings with anger ect that I was ADD and needed physchatric help , my partner who is ADHD is crazy out of control , has anger issues , has a long lengthy past criminal record , past drug problems but has been clean 7 yrs now . My partner & I agreeded to every assesment that the court & DSS recommended or order - My partner begged DSS for all information for his assesments but never got any help , It took me 7 months to even get me a Physch Eval done , because no one @ my local DSS would return my phone calls . Essentually my partner & I both got played and I ended up being legally forced to give my son up for adoption , simply because I had allowed my child hood bestfriend to be temp guardian to my son ( due to @ the time a not so good living situation with my sick mother) Apparently DSS & the court felt that it was best for my son to be put up for adoption , simply because I had not been consistient contact with him for over a yr - ( which was not by my choice , my son's guardian decided to go address hoping so there for I couldn't keep track of her) Basically DSS & the court precieved me to be an abandonment mother who was with a partner who they considered to be a safty risk . My son had also not seen me or talk to me in a very long time and they didnt feel that it would be good to try to reintrograte me back into his life. The thread was simply me replying back to some body who had written some harsh critcizing statements and not understanding where I was comming from @ the time when I wrote the thread which was the day after I gave my son up for adoption .

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