Knowing is half the battle... I remember not knowing why my brain worked differently... Why I knew all the answers- except when the teacher called on me to answer one! I still had great grades, but I was miserable with the stress and pressure it put on me to perform at the level I was with my disorder that no one seemed to recognize at that time. My children all have different levels/types of ADHD symptoms due to my ex-husband and myself, (no, there was no escape for our offspring! :)) They are growing up in supportive homes, understanding what works and what doesn't so that the second 'D' in ADHD can often be for dynamic and not for disorder. There are so many positives about having an ADHD brain. I have a technical career and am sought out by companies for my ability to come into an orginzation and see the big picture and know EXACTLY what needs to change in about 5 minutes. I see EVERYTHING and know how to create a solid, bullet-proof production technical environment and I can do this because how my brain functions with ADHD. You may have had a difficult life earlier on, but you have a choice now, to help your son find the gifts that folks with ADHD have and to ensure he has a better life ahead of him now that his has been recognized! DeadThumper

Quote

Guilty of what? Giving him the genes for ADHD? Not getting him diagnosed a year or two earlier? If you give him all your support and he wastes his life you can't take the blame for it any more than you can take the credit if he turns out to be the next Bill Gates. I could go on but it comes down to what I have said elsewhere on this forum - let it go. Be Here Now. Dragging a load of guilt around isn't going to do anything for your son other than take away some of the energy you could be giving him.

Quote

Well I think guilt-thoughts are not helping the situation at all. Once a problem is diagnosed then it's time to find out how to minimize it as much as possible. Feeling guilty and asking "why this" and "why that" is not helping nor your child. Dealing with the reality is what you should do. There is help out there and you are definitely not alone.

Quote

I had almost the exact same issue. Teacher thought last year that maybe she has ADD. Finally took her to be evaluated, and sure enough, she is. Then the therapist turns to me and says she believes I am. Talked to my psych dr and sure enough, I am.

So, when I felt guilty, broke down, and told my husband I would understand if he wanted to leave us, he looked at me and said "this is not all about you, some of her wiring she got from me too! It will be ok! Now we know"

The important thing is that you and your child are getting the help you need. I am still coming to terms with it, don't think I fully accept it yet. Hang in there! You have support here.

Quote

ADHD is not a bad thing. It's not a disease and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you or your child. People with ADHD simply think a little differently than other people - our brains are wired differently. I think of ADHD as a different set of skills. People with ADHD are good at things many other people struggle with...and in turn, they struggle with things many other people find effortless.

People with ADHD often have other disorders like depression, OCD, ODD, and learning disabilities. But having ADHD does not mean that you aren't smart or talented. There are tons of brilliant people out there with ADHD.

Our society expects people to be focused, driven, and organized. Those skills are all important, both for each individual's success and for our success as a whole. Many people pick up on these skills through day to day experiences - for a lot of people, these skills are as natural and easy as breathing or talking.

For people with ADHD, these skills don't always come naturally. Often, they have to be taught in the same way math and reading skills are taught. More and more schools are picking up on this and are helping both parents and kids through this learning process. That obviously wasn't always the case and many adults with ADHD were labeled as lazy, forgetful, stupid, and/or irresponsible as children.

On the other hand, people with ADHD are often creative and intuitive. They often see connections that others miss, taking two seemingly unrelated pieces of information and coming up with an idea that seems totally out of the box. Of course, I'm often frustrated by how long it takes other people to see what I saw almost immediately. I try to explain how I got from A to C, but its hard to put into words when I didn't actually go through B to get there. This is why I can't teach people...I can't explain how to do things that just came to me.

So, while ADHD is treated with medication and behavioral therapy as though it were a problem, there's nothing wrong with you or your child. The medications allow you to focus and calm yourself enough that you can learn the skills that came naturally to your peers. The result is a person with focus, calm, organizational and social skills, creativity, and intuition.

Quote