I had my meeting with my new lawyer on Monday afternoon . She told me that my case can go one of two ways ( A) the judge can choose to strip me of my parental rights , or ( b) I can choose to relinquish my parental rights on my own terms . My lawyer told me that if I really want to continue to pursue this & go back to through another court trial , that the only problem with that is , the fact that we don't have much more ammo to fight with . I told her that , this mess has been going on a yr now & that since the start of this , I've been burnt on all sides of my bread , I told her that stress of all this has worn me out mentally & emotionally . I told her that the truth of the matter is DSS & the state of NC had their minds made up about me since the start of all this , that when ever Leslie brought William back the state of NC that once the first CPI report was filed , that it was right then & there DSS had the basis for the case to go deeper . I told my lawyer that DSS & as well as the state of NC made their minds up about Jeremy , once they saw his criminal record , not mention the fact that once DSS & the court found out I'm ADD , DSS & the court then considered my ADD to be mental illness , there for they put me in the category of an unfit mother . I had along conversation with my lawyer , told her that there was no use in going through another court trial , I told her that I've already been through one court trial & that one was hell enough . I told her that the fact of the matter is , that DSS pretty much told me that it wouldn't matter how many assessments that Jeremy & I take , that the assessments wouldn't be enough . I told her that the ball hadn't been in my court for along time now and that William is happy with the foster family he is with , I told her that I am comfortable with William being where he's at and I do not want him moved . I told her that being in & out of the in the last yr has been very rough on me mentally & emotionally , it's very been a big strain on the relationship between jeremy & I . I told my lawyer that the whole reason why I did not choose between William or Jeremy , is simply because Jeremy never anything wrong to begin with and that i could care less what the DSS reports say , I'm not going to leave my partner over a lie that some one contructed stating that my partner threw William through a wall and sexually molested him , I told her that I understand with jeremy's long criminal record & past drug record that he looks incredibly bad but that no one knows my partner inside & out the way I do . I finished up the meeting by stating that I am very disappointed in my justice system as well as the state of NC , especially for treating me like a criminal when I clearly do not have any criminal history . I ended the conversation by stating that I can only pray that once the results from my Physch eval comes back that maybe the foster parents will be willing to send me progress reports of William & pictures of him via email , I told her that if I got progress reports and up to date pictures once every2-3 months via email that , that would help me put some sort of closure to this case and it would help me to know that I made the right decision . In the end I can only pray that one day god will bring my William back to me , I just pray that as he gets older that he won't resent me or have in his head that I abandoned him .

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