Hello everyone , I'm sorry I haven't written in a while the last couple of weeks have been incredibly busy . Mother's day was really hard , simply because of my grand mother passing away , me still not being able to have any contact with my own son . Monday Jeremy & I cleaned my mom's apartment , it went from being a 2 hr job to an all day job . Then Tuesday I had my Physch Eval , that took like 2 hrs I had to do a 500 question personality test along with another 300 question test about children . After I finished the personality test the Dr called me into his office , he asked me all kinds of questions , such as why am I on disability? what is my disability ? why am I not working? am I married? how long have I been with Jeremy ? why did Jeremy go to prison in the past? why is DSS still involved in this case? why is William in foster care? why can I not get him back? I tried my best to answer everyone of his questions truthfully , I tried my best to explain everything , how ever time was not on my side & I never truly got to explain the situation & why things turned out the way they turned out . Wednesday Jeremy & I went to Gatlinburgh with his twin brother & his wife came back on Thursday afternoon - Thursday Jeremy & I ran a few errand , i went to the mall but only had enough time to get my nails done - Jeremy then had a 6pm softball game , then towards the end of the game it started to T- storm & rain , didn't get home until like 9pm - Friday Jeremy got up and went to get groceries . then Saturday we got up early , Jeremy went to visit his other brother ( the only brother that is still in prison ) while he was visiting his brother I went back to the mall to finish up my pedicure & to finish getting William's birthday stuff . Then Jeremy picked me back up from the mall , after he had his visit with his brother , we then went & got my mom's groceries dropped them off to my mom, got her mail talked with her for a while , by this time it was like 7-8pm Jeremy & I then headed home . Today we haven't much of anything , but rested tomorrow we don't have much going on Jeremy is going to get up early to clean the car , mean while I got to call the dentist to see if I can get him in some time next week to get a bad tooth of his pulled - then I have a 2 pm appointment with my new lawyer to discuss the game plan so that away she can prepare for court coming up @ the end of this month . Lets see Tuesday we don't have anything going on besides Jeremy's softball game , Wednesday I have a 2pm court Review . Then I am supposedly due back in court on the 25th . I am praying to god that by the time the 25th comes around that the results from my Phych Eval will be back & just maybe we can all work something out to where I can @ least the foster parents will keep me updated on William's progress by Via Email & sending me up to date pictures of him via Email . I have accepted the fact that I am not going to get William back , I understand I made some major mystakes but now , none of this is about the mistakes I have made as a parent , it's about what is best for William but it is also about what is best for me as a mother . I think I deserve to have some sort of updates on William, how he's going , pictures of him as he grows up . I'm so tired of this war going on between myself & DSS ,I'm tired of being in & out of court , this mess has been going on a yr & it's just time to put it rest enough is enough . It's obvious that DSS nor the court is ever going to understand why I did what I did . DSS & the state of NC ( Buncome county ) are going to always think that just because your are ADD , that means you have a mental illness & there for your an unfit parent . It's sad that I still got treated like a criminal even tho I've never had a criminal record in my life, never been arrested & never had a drug problem . I think it's also sad that DSS busted my butt so much about getting the Physch Eval but then when I extend my hand out to get the Eval & the parenting classes that DSS turned their backs on me & told me no . essentially the justice system in which I believed in so much , turned it's back on me .

Quote