He may not like you trying to give him advice about his social skills, but perhaps you can assure him that he isn't alone. It isn't unusual for ADHD adults to struggle with social skills. If he understands that it isn't just him, it is the ADHD, he might be more open to working on his social skills. It takes a bit of practice and he has to be open to the advice. (None of us take criticism well from our significant others). Maybe you can print out these articles and/or discuss this information with him:

Communication Advice for Adults with ADHD

Adult ADHD and Impulsive Speech

How ADHD Adults Can Make New Friends

Mastering Small Talk for ADHD Adults

How to Get Along with the Group

Good luck. Dena

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I would also reflect your own social expectations and if they coordinate with your husband. For example; I frequently felt bad that my daughters did not have a lot of friends and often blamed it on their "ADHD" awkwardness. However, as they have gotten older, I realize that "I" wanted them to have more friends and they were content with just a few friends.

Additionally, my husband is not ADHD (I am dx ADHD) but he is often socially awkward. I am sometimes concerned how we socially present. There have been times I go to weddings, parties, etc., by myself. I have begun to pre-teach him before we enter a social situation, e.g. wait to start eating until everyone else is served, there are certain topics not appropriate, etc. I think in general women are more social and relational so our expectations and skills are different than the male population. Therefore, I have also resolved that my husband and I will not be that couple that "everyone" loves to socially hang-out with. It is difficult to teach, meet your needs/expectations and not offend your spouse. KEEP TRYING!

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That is exactly what happened to me and my husband, but it depends how you try to explain him about his behavior. By first they dont want to be treated like "childs" so we have to understand that is not only the things you tell him , other than "how" you tell him the things, that is really important. In the other hand we have to understand that usually ADD have a problem with miss communication and probably have years receiving critical comments about everything so they develop a defensive behavior. I only had to explain to my husband that everybody is a "social being" and because all of us NEED of the society to be happy persons, IT IS IMPORTANT what people things about us, because that help us in our selfstime, and in our reaffirmation like individuals.(even if they try to put a hard core telling that they dont care about what people thing , they do.

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Check him out for Aspergers, I have heard a lot that it can do this big time. PLus if he does not realize that there is something wrong after many failures well that is his problem to be honest. You can't baby sit the person you sleep with...... maybe his meds are not right, when I took meds a bit chunck of what would have been said before was not. HIs brain does not realize things after a certain point of interaction....................he does not see it at all you do.

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I agree with Dena. One other suggestion is if he doesn't want to take meds, suggest Omega 3 fish oil, as it is more than an ADD med. It is good for you, and in my husbands case has replaced his meds, and yes our doctor is aware, and I was there to hear it.

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So the first thing you should know is that your husband will likely never make more than 1 or 2 friends for any given time in his life. If he has friends that stay friends, then they have accepted him for who he is. You obviously love him very much or you would not have married him and would not be on this forum. Something that you might consider is a signal between the two of you when you are out in social situations. Although you don't want to be his babysitter (if his behavior bothers you as much as it seems too), you will need to monitor situations a bit. Things that might require a signal are how loud he gets in a room, ending a heated discussion gracefully, knowing when not to react to someone elses comments. Alcohol is a big contributor too. If he's been drinking, don't ever expect him to have a great deal of control over his actions or discussions. If you think another drink might make the evening turn then relay that message to him. I have ADHD, and my husband and I have a similar system. He fell in love with me because of my ADHD personality, but realized afterward the challenge he had taken on. When we go out many people comment on how we are always together and touching each other. Ha! Ha! If they only knew he was signaling me privately. Good luck and remember this is the man that you will have children with. I know have three kids and all but one have ADHD, so my husband has had a very large learning curve.

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Hello, My name is Luis but I go by the Wellness Crusader :) I can understand both your frustrations. But please stay hopeful. All humans are naturally social creatures, but many develope complexes about their place in society. I believe these complexes can be overcome. I would like to offer some information on ADHD and new research. Here is the link to my article: http://www.ideamarketers.com/?The_ADHD/B-12_connectiona_closer_look&articleid=688924&from=PROFILE

I hope you can find my article informative. Best, Wellness Crusader

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