Hi I'm new here and have been doing a lot of research on ADHD lately. Just recently my 2 year relationship/engagement ended with a man who had been diagnosed with ADHD when he was in his late teens. When he was diagnosed he went to counseling and was started on medication (not sure which medication but this was in the late 80s probably.) He stopped taking the medication because it made him feel "funny" and never attempted to get help again.

The reason I mention the breakup is because I feel that part of the reason for the breakup is due to the ADHD or maybe I should say some of the classic signs I see in him that are ADHD. He is easily frustrated, he has a short fuse, gets angry easily, is difficult to calm down, can't make rational decisions when he is upset/angry. Those are probably the most relevant. He has many other ADHD symptoms (mostly the hyperactivity ones.)

Even though he is being stubborn right now and doesn't want to listen to reason and make the relationship work, he has admitted that he does have a short fuse. He won't fully admit how angry he gets, but he's making some steps to admitting it fully which I see at least as a good sign instead of being in complete denial. At this time I don't think he wants to hear from me. So of course he probably won't be receptive to me offering help. I've mentioned to him recently that I do think he needs to see someone about his ADHD and to be open to trying medication again. In all the research I've done I want to share more of this information with him in the hopes that he will seek help from a doctor. But obviously like most people, we don't want to be pressured or told we need help with something.

Why I'm so concerned and want to help is not just to save the relationship and the family we had (he has two daughters) is also because I don't think that his family would support him in getting help nor would they ever suggest that he get help even though especially his mother is aware that he has ADHD and has an anger problem.

So with all this said, how can I show him my support and in a non pushy way get him the help that he needs for himself, his children and hopefully for the family that we formed and were planning to expand.

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated...if more info is needed to give advice please ask away...this is definitely the short version!

Thanks!

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