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Thread : Passive Boy Turning Aggressive  
15 Apr 2009 @ 11:32 PM
tif Join Date: Wed 15th Apr 2009
Threads: 1 Posts: 1
Passive Boy Turning Aggressive

My son, Kyle, is so tender hearted. He's been pummeled too many times to count and had refused to fight back. The kids who beat him are jerks at best but I also know that his behavior stemming from combined type ADHD gets on their nerves and they put an end to it. Or, HIM.

He doesn't deserve the treatment he receives. He is so kind and lives to make people laugh. He just wants everyone to be his friend and like him. And he is SO worth it!!! But they don't think he is. At 13, he finally had enough. He fought back. But, instead of standing up to the jerks that hurt him, he knocked over the next innocent bystander that walked by. He was afraid to stand up to the deserving culprits as their group is so big, he knew he'd be killed. So, he tried to make a statement with a lone little fellow. That poor boy. And Kyle was suspended for the first time in his life. As wrong as I know his behavior was, I understand it. I need help. Any offers of advice would be wonderful.

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16 Apr 2009 @ 10:39 AM Reply # 1
Anni Join Date: Thu 25th Oct 2007
Threads: 18 Posts: 416
ADHD and Bullies

Hello:

I feel for your son - no one can sustain that kind of abuse indefinitely. He was bound to lash out at some point - I'm just sorry that the bullies didn't get suspended as well.

ADDitude has some good articles about defeating bullies that I would recommend...

How to Bully-Proof Your Child with ADHD

Self-Defense Against Bullies

5 Ways to Beat School Bullies

... But you may also want to work on building up social skills so that your son is surrounded by more friends (harder to pick on when you're never alone) and less likely to provoke torment. Role-playing is a good idea - both in helping your son make new friends and in helping him respond positively to bullies (no more suspensions!). Here is some reading I would recommend...

Building Social Skills for ADHD Children

17 Ways Parents Can Help ADHD Children Make Friends

Help ADHD Children Make Friends

I hope this helps!

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16 Apr 2009 @ 8:29 PM Reply # 2
tif Join Date: Wed 15th Apr 2009
Threads: 1 Posts: 1
Thank you Anni

Hi Anni.

I am not sure how to send a message to you directly so I'll post this and hope you find it. Thank you so much for your response and the links. I will read them all and learn all I can. I am always looking for ways to improve myself to help him. He was diagnosed at age 5 and he really has done very well. I believe that Kyle is a testament that having ADHD is not the hush-hush- don't talk about it-you're just a wild boy with bad grades and behavior problems-type if stigmata that often hangs over these kids' heads. He really does work hard. He loves to make people laugh. I and most other adults are in stitches regularly. His grades are awesome. A's and B's and even straight A's at times. And so many tell me that he is so friendly and helpful to others. Just this last weekend, he and I completed the Race For The Cure together. When we crossed the finish line, he hugged me and told me that he felt like he made a tiny difference in someone's life. I told him he makes a difference in many lives every day. He is just so genuine good that it kills me to see him struggle and be hurt so much. So, he and I together will learn to get through this and come out on the other side even stronger, smarter individuals. I look forward to reading and learning from the links you offered. Looks like I'll be up late tonight reading... Again. ;) Thanks again Anni.

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