Hello mommyof3:

How frustrating - and frightening - to know that your son is struggling at school yet his teacher doesn't appear willing to help. There are some great articles in ADDitude about forming a 'partnership' with your child's teacher - it may be too late for this year, but I would highly recommend starting that outreach effort over the summer for next year...

ADHD School Help: Working with the Teacher

ADHD Teachers and Parents: Teamwork Tips

How to Get the Teacher On Your Side

Introducing Your ADHD Child to His Teacher and Securing ADHD Accommodations

The Daily Report Card: Tracking School Progress for Children with ADHD or Learning Disabilities

Another great tool is the ADDitude ADHD at School eBook - it's got information about accommodations, working with teachers, study tips, homework help, etc.

Finally, about your son's aggression - here are two articles I would recommend:

Helping ADHD Kids Who Hit

ADHD and ODD: Parenting Your Defiant Child

I hope this helps!

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Though I do not have children (nor am I able to raise one), I understand this situation through my own expiriences.

I am 14, and am battling the awful Jr. High. I want to let you know that you are doing nothing wrong, and it's common to get a harsh comment from a teacher. Most of the time, they just try to push the students harder, almost like giving them a "jump start". I know it's hard for you to believe now, I didn't either. My tutor used to push me harder, trying to get me into gear. Then, finally, I talked with the counselor about it and everything seemed to be ok. I can't guaruntee that this is the same for you, but their are things you can still do to work it out.

I know what it felt like as a child to be diagnosed with ADD. It was really confusing, and I didn't know how to concentrate for more than 40 minutes at a time. This made me feel really out of place, almost unwelcomed sometimes. Make sure to talk to your son and encourage him further. Talk to him about how he feels about it all.

Don't worry; having ADD isn't a curse either. It's actually a gift. I became a great writer, drawer, and have come so far because of it. I think that ADD see the whole picture of what everyone else can't see.

Best wishes for you and your son,

Luna

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Hello Mommyof3! It sounds to me that you need to have a "team" meeting. Get all of the teachers and principal together and come prepared. Believe it or not, teachers are not very knowledgeable about managing ADHD. I am a teacher myself, and was never trained as extensively as one needs to be in order to understand the ADHD child. I have an ADHD child myself and what a roller coaster ride it has been. My best advice is to not assume that they understand. I have done plenty of "team" meetings. I come equipt with literature and suggestions. Some help, others dont. It is all worth a shot. Also, you might want to communicate via email instead of having him bring home the "bad" letter. These kids are smarter than you think and may dread having you see it. Does he see a therapist or an ADHD coach. My son just started the coach thing, but has worked with a therapist for 3 years. It really helps. It also would not be surprising to hear he has a language disorder. Most of them do. My son has expressive-receptive. With therapy, it gets better. Hope this helps and if you have any other questions let me know!

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Although it's tough with the current teacher, your attention and love towards your son will pay off in the long run. Looking back at my own childhood, my parents' love and support really helped manage an undiagnosed condition. The fact you know about his ADHD now makes a big difference!

As a brand new parent that just started treatment for ADHD, I can say raising a baby (let alone multiple school aged kids) is definitely a challenge. It's a very rewarding challenge, though. The wife reminds me that regardless of whatever frustrations we have now, our 7 month old will grow up quickly and we'll miss these stages of her life.

I'm sure the same applies for first graders. In the blink of an eye, your son will be graduating high school. In the grand scheme, what's another month?

The bad notes from the teacher are a sign she cares. In a way it can be a good thing when people get mad, gossip, or in this case write notes. It means we're important enough to care about. The notes will stop when she doesn't think it's important anymore (or you get the next unsuspecting teacher!).

A new year can be a new beginning. An LD diagnosis, the medications, and your support will help your son focus and manage his anger. School's almost out-hang in there!

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