Luna, Your post is coherent and very organized. You express yourself very clearly. This shows that you are a clear thinker. (It is very unusual for someone your age to write as well as you have.) I'm going to suggest that you use your clear thinking ability to work with your ADD to accomplish what you wish to accomplish. It is very common for other people who do not understand ADD to just attribute our not completing school assignments, etc. to our being irresponsible or lazy -- but we know better. You know how hard you try to complete the assignments on time and study the material, but something is just not working! Is this what you feel guilty about?

Fortunately the anxiety medication is working. There is hope that you can also see your other problems become more manageable. For many of us our ADD doesn't go away -- we just learn to work with it. There are many articles in ADDitude that talk about ADD and school. Many are from a parent's point of view: how do I help my child. I hope that someone from the magazine posts some of the links to these articles. (They have been very good about that.) You could also search the website for these articles, but try not to spend too much time reading them all at once at the expense of not getting something urgent done. That is a struggle for many of us.

Be methodical in your approach to managing your ADD. Try some of the suggestions and track what works for you. Try to review what works and doesn't work on a regular basis. For me that is once a month, but it was certainly more often when I first started doing it. I hope that you can find a sympathetic teacher, youth leader (possibly someone from your church), or someone else who can help you evaluate what's working. It sounds like your parents are supportive. Could your mom or dad help you here? Your parents have a long term perspective and want to help you, but you are feeling everything right now -- not 10 years from now.

Don't give up! You have some amazing abilities that you have yet to discover (beyond your writing ability). I hope that you make the King's Island trip, but even though it may feel like it, it is not the end of the world if you don't. I'm really not minimizing your disappointment. I KNOW that it hurts to be misunderstood. All that I am saying is to use your abilities and don't give up. We are all pulling for you.

Charlie

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I reaffirm the previous poster: you shouldn't feel guilty for a bunch of chemicals up in your brain having some issues learning how to work together and regulate themselves properly. I take an antidepressant and adderall because i have diagnosed ADD and diagnosed depression. Being one doesn't mean you can't be the other. Perhaps you should ask your psychologist or psychiatrist about the possibliity of them both being present. Also I would just like to encourage you to look forward to the future.... the eighth grade was the hardest of my 21 years of life for whatever reason (well for one i hadn't gotten diagnosed with either issue so therefore was unmedicated and very happy and for two jr high is just rough for everyone) thus far. However, it's gotta be almost over for you... and high school will give you so many opportunities. Keep your chin up! Realize there ARE other people who do or have felt exactly like you do and find strength in knowing that they lived through it. I think junior high is an extremely isolating experience (this coming from the girl who skipped more of it then I went to but then again we didn't have a cool trip at the end) so reaching out (even as you did here) is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Use your resources! Communication is key. People can't help you if they don't know you're struggling or what you're struggling with. I would suggest finding someone you trust but has the capacity to help, or has the capacity to find someone more capable of helping, and then before you talk to them write down exactly what issues you are most concerned about. This will help them know what to do and will help you fell less overwhelmed because you'll understand you're problems better when you define them. Good luck!

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Wow, Your post was very, very well written. Keep your chin up and keep trying. You are wise beyond your years. I think you are already learning so much about yourself. I am sorry you have to go thru all this. But this is what makes you who you are and you will be very pleased as you get older but I see you accomplishing much in life and influencing many people with just your attitude alone! I wish I was a specialist because boy do we need more mental health professionals in the world. Dont ever change. You seem like a great, great person. Remember to keep things in perspective. You are many things, not just a student or a teenager, or a female, or a etc. Every day is a new beginning. (sometimes for me its every minute, LOL) To start my day over. I wish finding the right med or solution for mental issues was as easy as testing for physical ones, but, .....its not. However, I think thats what makes us so caring toward others and able to think outside the box. Good Luck, again , so proud of you.

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As the parent of an ADD child, I saw my son go through a similar depression in the 7th and 8th grade. Like you, he is intelligent, thoughtful and sensative. His one short-coming is that he struggles to see what he brings to the world. After finding tools to help him I have since made it my work to help children with ADD and other learning challenges succeed in school.

Something to remember is that most of us ADD'ers have a very different learning style than the other 80% of students (and most teachers). The typical classroom environment and the demands of school can seem like the antithesis of an environment that we would choose for ourselves. That said, I'll wager you bring some awesome gifts to the table that you may have yet to explore.

First, like most ADD'ers, you have amazing creativity and problem-solving ability. Second, you probably have an excellent visual/spatial memory (when you are relaxed and focused). And third, you probably have a powerful imagination that can inspire you to success or hold you prisoner.

It's that awesome imagination that you can use to your advantage. Focus on your strengths and your past successes. See and feel how good it feels when you complete even the smallest project or task. Practice breaking assignments down into smaller pieces until you can litterally "see yourself completing the assignment AND feeling that feeling of success and accomplishment." What you focus on determines your reality. Lastly, get to know more about your learning style and your natural gifts. Visit www.swish4fish.com and download our free booklet, "Gifted--Not Broken" or look at any of the books written by Tom Hartman, including, "The Edison Gene: ADHD and the Gift of the Hunter child". Be well.

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