I can understand your reluctance to test and medicate your son for ADHD. However, you should know that the American Psychiatric Association has issued guidelines for diagnosing ADHD that all doctors should follow. And if you seek out an ADHD specialist, you are even more assured of an accurate diagnosis.

Also, an ADHD diagnosis does not automatically mean medication. There is a wide range of alternative ADHD treatments including behavior therapy, neurofeedback, diet, exercise, etc. to try instead of or in addition to meds.

Finally, an ADHD diagnosis may actually help your son at school. If he's formally diagnosed, then he is eligible for an IEP or 504 Plan at school - this means academic accommodations to help him perform and behave better at school. You can set up accommodations to keep him engaged and challenged so that his down time is reduced and his 'bored' behavior gets nipped in the bud, for example.

I definitely wouldn't recommend taking your son off the Ritalin without first consulting with a doctor. But it is important to question why he was put on meds without a formal diagnosis - very unusual!

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Is it possible that he is able to focus because he is interested? When a person w/ ADD is interested in something.. it can become engrossing.. all consuming.

http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/612.html

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You've already noticed that your son has behavior issues, so that's a great start. Now, it's time to identify the root causes for the behavior issues. Chances are, it's a combination of things. Excess energy? Maybe he needs some serious workout time where he can expend that energy in a healthy way. Can't sit still in class? Might be just that he needs movement to learn effectively, or it could be a learning issue. Discipline is certainly important, but in taking away the cell phone are you disciplining or punishing? Are you sending the intended message and is it being clearly understood by your son? Is negative behavior a way that he has learned to get affirmation? Kids want to matter--to be significant (even if it's negative significance), while at the same time they want to understand what their behavioral boundaries are. Bottom line, get a comprehensive evaluation from a certified diagnostician. Doesn't need to be a psychiatrist, or a specialist in ADHD. In my opinion, it's almost better to go generic, instead of someone who specializes in ADHD. That way, all possibilities can be examined--family dynamics, intelligence, learning abilities and styles, self-perception, etc... It will allow you a window into your child, and then you and your wife can work together or with a professional to know how to help your son.

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ADHD doesn't mean a child is less intelligent it means there are barriers to getting the info from brain to paper or mouth. If your child's barrier was his eye sight would you say he needs to squint harder or move to the front of the room or have the teacher write larger? I suspect that as the concerned father you sound like, you'd take him for an eye exam and possibly glasses ALONG with sitting closer to the board. Not acknowledging his barriers can be emotional scarring into and through his adulthood. My husband's story sounds just like your sons. My husband is a certified MENSA and his mother had the same arguments you have:

He's all boy, he's energetic, he is too smart for the class, he gets his work done too quickly and has too much time on his hands....sound familiar? Guess what there are plenty of other bright kids in the room who finish early and don't get in trouble. My husband wasn't diagnosed until he was an adult and his negative self image was cemented. He grew up feeling like he wasn't trying hard enough, wasn't good enough was a failure and a disappointment. After getting on medicine and using other strategies to overcome his ADHD he is successful and learnig to be satisfied with who he is. My husband says that his biggest regret in life is that he didn't know what he could have become because his ADHD was not acknowledged and diagnosed so late in life. (His mother still asks if he will grow out of it!) Please keep an open mind and understand meds are a tool not a magic bullet. Don't let your son live a life of perceived failures.

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I guess my biggest worry is that the doctor said to try it out and didn't sound to sure of himself. I also have read about children dying on these meds, and honestly none of them look like they are better than the other. I have also read that it is a legal form of cocaine or methamphetamine. I am very anti medication myself. I rarely even take Ibuprofen. I have talked with my wife and we are going to another appointment with his doctor but we have took him off for this week to see how he does. I like the ideas of doing some sort of other remedy and see how it works. Thanks!

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Your concerns are very valid, you just want an accurate diagnosis. There are doctors that thoroughly review children and if you feel your doctor did not, get another opinion from another doctor. Try to get a referral from another parent. You can also have a neuropsychologist do an evaluation and test working memory and executive functions as this is week in many ADHD children. Review online what Central Auditory Processing is and see if your son fits that profile. Review www.caddra.ca wherein it will list the questions, bloodwork, and tests a doctor should be doing. Food sensitivities can cause behaviour issues and make ADHD symptoms worse. Bloodwork for B12 and zinc absorption should be done as well. Read up on these things and move forward from there. ADHD is real and if your son is properly diagnosed with it, it is not the end of the world. You will learn how to manage it and he can be successful. And yes, he can be "gifted" and still have ADHD. What rewards is he getting for finishing his work quickly at school? They can give him computer time and play some educational games on it. Maybe help out with some kindergartens, start to get some leadership skills. Check out online and with the school board about accomodations for gifted children. The more you know and learn, the better you can figure out if iti ADHD or something else.

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You might find the site http://borntoexplore.org/index.html an interesting one to read. The author began the site as a complete skeptic about ADD and offers a range of ways to think about how people interact with the world around them.

Please don't throw out the ADHD idea, but don't just swallow it without reading and getting a second opinion. I was a gifted kid and did lots of daydreaming, never got in trouble because I was quiet and stayed in my seat -- but also didn't learn how to follow through, use my time as I myself wanted to use it, make connections between intention and execution, because I was smart enough to get by just fine even if I knew I was "not living up to potential." So one way of looking at me would be simply, spacey kid, maybe she'll get focused some day, she's fine for now. That was the 1960s paradigm, especially for girls. And "gifted" is not a bad label to explore for your son, either.

But research as of 2009 says that who we are is not all a matter of "character," failure of will, etc, but also brain chemistry (which is not to say that it is all simply brain chemistry!). If you and your son learn how his brain works best, and how to work around what happens when things get a little dull, you will be giving him skills he will use all his life. What would be a good thing to do when he finishes his work? maybe he can help a kid who's having trouble; maybe he can work on a project he keeps ready for when he's done with an assignment (writing a story, making a comic book, computer programming, etc)...

None of the people who study ADD ever say to just try meds and see, and they never say to try meds without learning new strategies for making life work better.

On the other hand -- I promise you I am about as med-averse as you say you are, tylenol or whatever, but the fact is that when I am on meds I can be on time hardly trying at all, and when I'm not, I can't tell you how much work it takes even to be 2 minutes late instead of more. I'm 47. I'm a tenured college professor. I'm "successful" but I still struggle with finishing projects and "getting around to" tasks that aren't as interesting as learning something new. As someone else said, you can be gifted and have trouble putting your plans into practice, trouble with attending to what you yourself actually mean to attend to.

I think the bottom line is, keep an open mind about how to explain what goes on with him, and then follow appropriate solutions. Most of all, make it clear to him that you want to help him be a person he likes and can be proud of.

good luck, lupin.

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Something to think about is the fact that when someone has adhd or add socially it is very hard to fit in. People are often intolerant of behaviors that don't fit in line with the normal. Kids are even worse with their peers and acceptable behaviors of those that fit and don't fit in. Being a kid with either add or adhd is hard because your brain doesn't work like everyone else’s. ADD or ADHD kids if going untreated can be ostracized and outcaste for their entire school life. College isn’t' as bad but people don't spend nearly as long with thier college mates as their primary, secondary, and high school peers. Those growth and development stages are essential for getting on with things as an adult. This may be something to consider when weighing the med/no med factors.

Your child is extremely smart. Most of the add or adhd people have extremely high IQ's. We have to out think our peers in order to figure out how to live in their box. If it is something we hyper focus on we can complete it before anyone else has a chance to process the information. Likewise if your totally uninterested in the subject someone could hold a gun to your head and threaten you with it but no matter what the situation the brain will JUST NOT cooperate.

I have found both with myself and my child the "right medication" has made a tremendous difference. I wanted to give my child the opportunity to take advantage of learning. Not providing the medication I believe would have been an injustice.

I myself wasn't diagnosed until I was 36 years old. I had been a terrible student and had extremely low self esteem mostly due to the add because I never quite fit in. I knew I was extremely smart but felt dumb all my life. My grades were poor. I barely graduated high school and struggled to make the minimal "C" required to pass nursing school. I passed the boards without problems and functioned extremely well in my job. I had difficulty remembering things that I had done like did I give this medication or not. I was constantly double checking myself where it was written down. That takes a lot of time and interfered with my care delivery. I always in school or as a nurse felt inadequate because I viewed myself as second rate. Little did I know it was a learning disability in my way not my intelligent.

After being dx at the age of 36 and having such a drastic change in my focus and memory i went back to school and graduated Suma Cum Laude. Not bad for a barely C student who barely made it through high school. I swear my age had nothing to do with it. What did change was my ability to concentrate and interact with life. ADD or ADHD has a greater impact on life than just grades. It encompasses so many things that it is hard to comprehend unless you have walked that mile in the same shoes. When I recognized the same things in my child with inattentiveness and after she was tested twice being diagnosed both times with inattentive ADHD i swore she would have more of an opportunity than I did to succeed.

No one medication is perfect for everyone. I can understand the concerns that people have with medications side effects but what also needs to be considered is what are the results for not having the medications. Medication is just one of the tools to help cope and compensate for what I like to refer to as the disease with both a blessing and a curse (ADD or ADHD).

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