I feel your pain and desperation, as we all do. I'm new to the site as well, but I've been receiving the magazine for a few months now. As I read each post on this site, I go through a few different emotions. The 1st is a feeling of excitement, (for lack of a better word), that I've found a forum with members that can totally relate to what I'm going through with my child. The 2nd, is a feeling of sadness for all of us who are going through so many difficulties and hardships with our children that we love, (but may not like on many occasions). The 3rd feeling I feel, is a sense of hope, that I get from many posts, which is so important. Its important to me because of the days that I feel, "how will I get through this", mixed with, "what kind of life will my child have, if this doesn't get any better"? There are many days that I feel like screaming, "someone help me", but I restrain myself and think it instead, so my 12 year old daughter won't hear me. I don't want her to hear me, because I worry about her self esteem, and I don't want her to think I'm weakening. If she thinks I'm weakening, she will always use this tactic to wear me down to get her way, (she has done this many times in the past, and now that she's getting older, I need to stay strong more than ever). As most of us know, ADHD kids are great manipulaters.

I will say, in answer to your plea, I did find something called 'Focus Factor', (their formula was all natural vitamins and minerals), and after 2 weeks, I can tell you that my husband and I saw a 25% improvement, (as well as her teachers at the time). It wasn't perfect, but 25% helped. I haven't used the product in awhile, but they had a chewable kind for kids, (they made it for adults as well), that had to be given a few times a day. You have to make sure that your child rinses afterward, because the sugar in it could cause tooth decay, (like any other chewable vitamin). My husband's nephew's girlfriend used to work for the company and I will also tell you that she said that they used to receive so many emails claiming great results as well. I remember the price being very reasonable also. I haven't seen ads for this product in awhile, (if I remember correctly they had some kind lawsuit...something to do with the way they were advertising), but they are still available online. As a matter of fact, as I'm replying to your post and recommending this product, I'm thinking we need to try this again on the weekends, when she's not on her meds.

I too was opposed to meds for a long time, but finally decided to try Ritalin a few months ago. My decision was based on her attitude getting worse, her self esteem was getting lower and lower, she was being extremely disrespectful to my husband and I, and she just seemed to be spiraling out of control in her seventh grade year. She was also doing terrible in school and having many social issues with many friends. We have seen results with the meds, but this too, isn't perfect. Some days are better than others, and coming off the meds isn't always great, and some of the other side effects aren't great either. We have seen improvement in school and in her behavior when on the meds, but when they wear off, it is still extremely difficult, challenging and very frustrating. A couple of months ago we started family therapy once a week with a child psychologist. We haven't seen much difference, but our daughter at least has an outlet to talk to someone about whatever she wants to talk about. She is still in the building trust stage; we will see what happens.

I do know that like many on this forum, we will keep searching for something. My husband and I will keep trying, (even though some days we're exhausted and we give in, just because the stress is insurmountable at times and we have a household to run and jobs to keep), to do the best we can. We both know we have to get better with sticking to different disciplines and getting better at keeping a structured life. It's really easier said than done, because we have another child, jobs and life just happens.

I am very thankful that I have this website for info and support. We very much needed it. I have learned so much from it, including things about myself and other members of our family. It seems many of us have characteristics of ADD or ADHD, even though we may not have the actual disorder. Or maybe we do have the disorder, but a very mild form...

I hope this post helps out in some way.

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You aren't the only parent who is going the med-free route. There are some very helpful alternative ADHD treatments out there. Nutritional treatments take more work than just popping a pill, but parents often have good results with changes in diet.

Also, some children are sensitive to chemicals in food, such as food coloring and other additives. Studies have shown that certain kinds of additives cause hyperactivity. May want to avoid those if you are dealing with an hyperactive kid. Start reading labels and paying attention to what he eats, give the diet a chance to work and hopefully you will see positive results.

As far as better discipline goes, there is a treasure trove of articles on disciplining your ADHD child on the ADDitude website. If you are looking for a place to start, read through this article: 8 Steps to Better Behavior for ADHD Children. I'm sure you will find a helpful tip in there.

Hang in there, it may take some work, but it will be well worth the effort.

Best, Dena

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I really appreciate the help that I am getting fro both of you. Most of the time whenI don't to use meds as help I get critized a lot. I have just started searching for answers online for displinary help that I wasn't recieving from professionial help so thank you for you input. I have tried some of the techniques that I have recently read from this website relating to disicipline and it hasn't been a great improvement but it has worked and I know if I stay consistant it will start to work effectively. I have always wanted to change my son's diet cause I thought this could be a factor as well so thinks for giving that bit of info. I am so late in the game cause for so long his behavior was not a problem at home and my family and I did the best we could with disicipline cause of his actions in school, but we were in denile about anything actually being wrong with him and we thought that if we treat him and raise him like any other American boy he would be fine, but he is different and ADHD is something that shouldn't be ignored and that was the biggest problem I had in accepting that, but once again thank you both for your insight and thank you for relating to my situation

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Pboo583 said: I am new to the site and I really needed help with my 9 year old. He was diagnosed with ADHD since he was 4 and we tried medication when he was 5, but it was a bit much for him and he did better without it. He has always been a hadful at school being sometimes violent and down right respectful, but never at home until now. He got violent about a month ago and today was the second time. After reading some of the post he is not much of a handful as the others but I don't want him to get that out of control. He has always been respectful at home and when you tell him to do something he does it. He goes to an alternative school cause he was kicked out of 3 schools. My family despartely wants to put him in a private school but we just can't afford it. He was doing well at his school then after the winter break he started to misbehave and we cannot figure out why. Now he is starting to talk back and even draw up at me and even pushed me away from him. I know that may not sound too bad but I'm not trying to win a contest on who has the hardest time to deal with their children becasue I know everyone on here has a very difficult time or has had one at some point. I just need an out let and need help on what to do. I do not look down on anyone who uses medicaton but I would prefer not to cause of past experiences. I'm asking if there is anyone that can offer me some help on what to do to help improve his behavior and I just need help. So can anyone please offer any suggestion. Any other information that any one needs to know like some of his outburst at school or anything just let me know. I need help with him and I don't know what to do. Please help any help will do

It's been a while since you tried meds. If the side effects weren't too scary, I'd give it one more shot. If one med doesn't work, try others. It can be really helpful and it's not too late. I found that combined with meds, hiring a board certified behavioral specialist that comes to our home was not as expensive as I expected and very, very helpful.

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Pboo583 said: I really appreciate the help that I am getting fro both of you. Most of the time whenI don't to use meds as help I get critized a lot. I have just started searching for answers online for displinary help that I wasn't recieving from professionial help so thank you for you input. I have tried some of the techniques that I have recently read from this website relating to disicipline and it hasn't been a great improvement but it has worked and I know if I stay consistant it will start to work effectively. I have always wanted to change my son's diet cause I thought this could be a factor as well so thinks for giving that bit of info. I am so late in the game cause for so long his behavior was not a problem at home and my family and I did the best we could with disicipline cause of his actions in school, but we were in denile about anything actually being wrong with him and we thought that if we treat him and raise him like any other American boy he would be fine, but he is different and ADHD is something that shouldn't be ignored and that was the biggest problem I had in accepting that, but once again thank you both for your insight and thank you for relating to my situation

The right behavioral strategies can work like magic. Positive reinforcement is the key and everything else pretty much evolves around that. If kids really have difficulties with their ADHD, its harder for them to respond to behavior management if they don't have the benefit of medication, especially if they are hyperactive/impulsive. If he really does have an ADHD diagnosis and its not something else, diet is only going to help to a certain limited extent. A good, nutritious diet certainly can't hurt but if things get really out of control, you may have to look at other options. It sounds like his symptoms are oppositional, so effective behavioral management may really help that.

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My 14 yr. old son and I are both trying to deal with ADD/ ADHD and right now if it was a contest, the ADHD would be winning. I have to agree with the last post about trying medicine again. I hate givine meds to my son and he hates taking them but I have seen over the past couple years what a difference they make. He was on ritalin at first and we had to deal with side effects such as lack of appetite and not being able to fall asleep. He is on Concerta now with no sleep problems but still lack of appetite. As I said he does not like taking them either and i let him try a couple weeks without them. Not only is it harder to focus but he has problems of acting before thinking and lands up in the principals office. The meds seem to help with that and two weeks ago after getting in trouble for something stupid, he came home and said, "Mom, I think I should probably start back taking my medicine tomorrow." That was a happy and sad moement for me. Happy because I felt he was taking charge now and knew that it was what he needed to do in order to stay in control of his impulses but sad because it was like something he felt he was defeated at and was giving in in order to keep in line with everyone else. I don't knoww if I'm even making sense to anyone. I guess I'm just trying to say that behavior modification i is great but sometimes you just need the medicine to help it fall in place. Also I ordered the Focus Factor that one of the other readers was talking about but after going through the entire bottle, I could tell no difference. I found that fish oil supplements worked better for me although they aren't a magic bullet either but at least you know they are something yur body needs anyway. Alot of people don't like them because they say the burp them afterwards or they smell but if you keep them in your refrigerator, that will not be a problem.

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