Receiving an ADHD diagnosis doesn’t mean your son has to be medicated. It’s your choice. There are other options: behavioral therapy, supplements, dietary changes, exercise, accommodations at school (which he’ll be entitled to with a diagnosis), perhaps even a different school. My son was diagnosed in second grade and I opted not to put him on medication. Our school district was in a “one size fits all” mode and insisted that everyone learn at the same pace – which just didn’t work for him. Two schools and four years later he’s now on the distinguished honor roll – and still not medicated. A diagnosis will point you in the right direction so you can educate yourself, your child, and the rest of your family, and start getting the help you need. My advice is to make sure you're getting a thorough evaluation, and if ADHD is ultimately diagnosed, learn everything you can about it and your options. This web site is a great resource. There are many others out there as well. Good luck!

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WORRIEDMOM2009 said: My son is 8.5 years old and he is in second grade. At a recent meeting with his teachers, I was advised that he was failing academically --due to the fact that he is not focusing in class--they said he is "in the below average range". I decided to speak with his doctor who suggested he'd be evaluated for ADD--so that's is where I am not--in the process of filling out the paperwork packet. I am so worried about my son--because in some ways I do see possible ADD symptoms.... I feel like my head is going to explode and I also feel like crying all the time. I am hoping the evaluation will rule out ADD. I don't want my son medicated. If anyone can offer any advice to me, I would really appreciate it.

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I was initially opposed to treating my six year old daughter with medication for her ADHD. I see a homeopathic doctor and refuse to take antibiotics, or give them to my children.

I tried various herbal treatments and other alternative medical approaches with my daughter for a year, but her overall condition seemed only to deteriorate. Finally the school psychologist told me and my husband that our daughter was failing in school, had no friends ( was always picked last for teams), possessed low self esteem, and was suffering from depression. The depression (in a six year old!) was the thing that influenced our decision to try the medical approach to treating her. Within a few days of medication, we saw a definite improvement with her inattentiveness, and she herself began to feel more optimistic in regards to her classroom experience. (prior to the medication it was a HUGE struggle to get her ready for school, she would scream and cry, say she hated school, hated to read, and had no friends, etc). While we are still struggling with her oppositional behavior, the weekly therapy she receives for behavior modification seems to be helping her, and the parenting classes we are taking are beneficial as well. The school reports that in every area they have seen a marked improvement. While I have concerns about the long term effects of the medication on her developing brain and her liver, it is reassuring to know that if we decide to stop the medication, it will be out of her system in about twenty four hours. We are actually trying to wean her to a non stimulant medication right now, as it seems to be a more gentle option than her current medication. I reason with my decision to medicate my daughter by telling myself that if she had juvenile diabetes I would not hesitate to treat her with insulin, or if she had cancer- with any option I could get my hands on! I tell her that while she can still see without her glasses, her glasses help her to see better, and it is similar with her medication. Our pediatrician tells us that each ADHD child is different, so each approach must be tailored specifically for each child. I am still interested in non traditional, alternative approaches, and continue to seek out all information as it pertains to ADHD, but in our case, we have so far seen the best results with medication. It is very, very nerve wracking and stressful to worry about one's child... I want to do everything within my power to help her become a happy, healthy, high functioning person in the future. The thing that helps me the most is to tell myself (during one of my daughter's rages or tantrums) that it is not personal, that she has a neurological condition, and that we are all on a learning curve. Then I have some chocolate!

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I grew up with ADHD, but was undiagnosed until college (where I struggled partly due to the unstructured environment).

High expectations, structure, parental support, and after-school activities helped me do well all the way through high school. I was in the top 10% of my class and did everything from AP courses, to theatre, martial arts, and the school paper by my senior year.

I do wish I had known about my condition sooner! The relief that I felt after my diagnosis was tremendous! I could finally address all my "issues" with less guilt and more of a focus on practical solutions for an ADHD-er. Medication or not, it's good that you're following through on the diagnosis!

Any medication has benefits and side effects. While it's easier to weigh these factors for ourselves (I'm currently medicated, and it really helps <em>me</em>) it's much harder to make the choice for our children. As a brand new parent and someone with ADHD, I'll be sure to get my child diagnosed if needed.

In terms of medication for my daughter (if diagnosed ADHD), I'd prefer to try to manage ADHD without medication but not be afraid to consider the possibility that meds would be needed. It's not fair for our individual children to just say "YES, meds as a first choice" or "NO, never!" without considering 1) what they are capable on their own as well as 2) the history and track record of the medications. While stimulants, for example, do have side effects, they also have a long history and track record of success.

My parents did the best they could, armed with whatever information they had at the time. Decisions such as formula-feeding versus breastfeeding, driving without child restraints, and laying children on their fronts instead of their backs may not have been the "absolute right" choices, but they may have been acceptable or the "best at-the-time."

If we learn what we can and apply well-informed decisions, it'll work out in the end. If you're worried about the ADHD diagnosis, don't worry - it means he's NOT diagnosed right now. And if he does have it, it can be a good thing because it gives you a framework to address his school issues.

Otherwise he'd still be struggling in school, but you'll have to find and address another reason. If your son knew that there's a possibility there's something going on with his brain that makes it hard to focus on things he doesn't like, I'm sure he'd shrug it off. No need to worry yourself sick as guilt and worry can make it harder to focus on finding solutions. Hang in there, you're doing great!

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I understand about the fear of meds. But my boys are doing great on Adderrall XR., They are not high or so focused they don't want to play. They are in control and themselves. The adderall Xr slolwy releases it in their system through out the day and last till around 8:00 for my oldest and my youngest is gettingready to get a higher dose due to growth and weight. They are normal boys on the meds. I had it as a young girl in the 80's before they called it ADHD and girls were rare to act the way I did. I had to repeat 1st grade because of it. I was behind emotionally as ADHDer's tend to be late bloomers emotionally and socially. I realized after huge chunk of my life was over why i struggled in college and relationships and casually in social settings. I wasn't weird I had ADHD and as an adult I still do. May I suggest you do research on what causes ADHD and what the brain lacks. I do not want to qoute I am not a Dr. but I have done significant research on this for myself thrue University research sites and CHADD and government Mental health sites suchas NIMH,they are great. You can find what chemicals in the brain are deficiant and how stimulants work and help improve symptoms of ADH.D. You can find out every detail of why and who and what. it gave me such reassurance to see that I am not a bad person,but that I have unique ways of seeing the world and gifts. High energy is a POSITIVE it just needs to be contolled better. The adderrall for my boys does this and I take Concerta and it is wonderful. I am not high nor do i feel high,I am not shot down and like a log. i still have my jolly eneregetic self but I am better at using the gift of ADHD to my benefit . I little side effects as a grown up. i have a hard time sleeping sometimes but ADHD has whats called co-morbid symptoms like depression and anxiety. I also have anxiety along with my adhd and take zoloft with it,and a sleep aide at night. The brain is always going with ADHD and when meds wear off,usually at night bed time the brain keeps moving and sometimes it is hard to sleep. Everyone with ADHD is different in this way probably,some hav ethis problem some don't. But additional symptoms is common like anxiety,depression. Some Doc's prescribe along with ADHD meds a anti-depressant or anxiety. Wellbutrin treats both adhd and anxiety in one pill,not a stimulant. There are so many options,just be brave if you decide to try meds and see which may work best.

Good luck,and you are not alone in this

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WORRIEDMOM2009 said: My son is 8.5 years old and he is in second grade. At a recent meeting with his teachers, I was advised that he was failing academically --due to the fact that he is not focusing in class--they said he is "in the below average range". I decided to speak with his doctor who suggested he'd be evaluated for ADD--so that's is where I am not--in the process of filling out the paperwork packet. I am so worried about my son--because in some ways I do see possible ADD symptoms.... I feel like my head is going to explode and I also feel like crying all the time. I am hoping the evaluation will rule out ADD. I don't want my son medicated. If anyone can offer any advice to me, I would really appreciate it.

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I too have two boys ages 8 and 15. The 15 year old has been medicated since he was 4 and the 8 year old since he was 5. Medication was not the way I wanted to go, but I am so glad I did. My 15 year old has made the honor in 7 8th and 9th grade He is revered as a wonderful student. The 8 year old is turned somewhat differnt but he stopped in the second grade fromn hitting others, etting very angry, and throwing things. He matured a lot from the 1st to second grade. I understand as a teacher that you don't have to medicate, but I would like to know why you would choose not to medicate. Is there something you are concerned about in the meds? I have a nephew who went off his meds in high school and if not for a 504 I recommen he would have flunked out. He tried college but couldn't maintain his focus.d. He still struggles because he chooses not to medicate.If you are married to a wonderful person who supports you in this, it is great. I am not critizing anyone I would just like to know why you wold choose not to. It is very hard work when you choose not to medicate. I don't think medication is the easy way out becuse there is behavior modifications and other issues to deal with.

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I am glad to see that I am not alone in this--I have read everyone's advice to me about medicating my son. He has not been diagnosed yet--has Evaluation appointment in June 2009. He has the symtoms, however. What I fear the most about medication is the effect it may have on him--i.e., is he going to be walking around like a zombie or keeling over asleep like a drug addict.... : ( A family member of mine told me the other day that our neice's two daughters ages 4 and 6 have been on the medication (Ritalin--I think) and they were at a restaurant having dinner and the two girls were asleep at the dinner table : ( as result of the medication---it just broke my heart to hear that --those poor kids.. that is why I am even with the appointment scheduled am thinking about canceling the evaluation. I know there are other options besides meds but can I take advantage of them without having a diagnose???????

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what kinds of other options? Obviously things like Omega-3s you can start any time you like, and they're such a great idea for general health anyway, so why not?

As far as school stuff goes, you can always request a meeting with the teachers, the principal, the special ed dept, the guidance counselors - you don't need a diagnosis to talk to them. You can hear from them what they think would provide your son the best possible services. I know ours were really responsive even without a diagnosis, but if you want accommodations, at least in our state, legally they need a diagnosis from an MD or a PhD. It's the difference between the people working with him being understanding, looking out for him a little more - or really making changes to the structure (giving less or different homework, preferred seating, allowing him to get up and move around or chew gum, delivering the tests in ways that he can better understand them, etc) and having it all on record so that no mater what teacher he has he still gets the same treatment (more or less) and you don't have to meet with every single teacher to hammer out the details over and over again.

Does that make sense? I think it really depends on the nature of the problems he's having, your relationship with his school and comfort level with his teachers. Some do really well without a diagnosis or a 504 (legal allowances for school changes) just with working each classroom through the years to find a good fit for him. We did that for the past 3 years really well but for us now it's time to get the 504, it's just too exhausting for me - and for my daughter. She's keeping it together as it is, but just barely, it's harder for her than it needs to be.

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Also as far as the dosage goes, that's something you work with your doctors to get the balance figured out. Being a zombie or falling asleep at the table (if that truly was due to the meds) is obviously not a good dosage, right? Finetuning the correct medicine and dosage has to be done with your cooperation - the doctor needs to know how it's going and adjust accordingly, s/he can't see your kids all day long, right?

It's like anything else - there's a therapeutic range and there's under and over - think insulin and hypoglycemia - too much insulin is pretty bad for you, but too little and you're also in trouble. If your kid is responding poorly to the medicine you've gotten or the dosage, it's important to change it. Talk to your doctor about your worries, be sure to start low dosage and move up until you get to a good place and don't stop paying attention - as the kids grow and change the dosage will have to change too. Being a zombie isn't normal and is not what most people want for their kids, right? Personality changes are not what we're after. Stimulants like Ritalin are in and out of the blood stream by the end of the day - if there was a negative effect, if the dose was too high, it's not like you'll need weeks for it to wear off, it would be gone in a few hours. Not to minimize your fears, but to say that these are ones we all have and work with.

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