Hi! I read your message and it brought back such vivid memories. I remember those first days...not knowing if what I was doing was the right thing, struggling to find the right medicine, all the outbursts. I never had a problem with sleeplessness though; I was always totally exhausted with dealing with my son's ADHD problems (on top of being a divorced single mom of 3 and working all the time). But take heart, it DOES get better. Don't forget that a medicine that works for one child will do absolutely nothing for the next so if you feel the med that your daughter is taking isn't working, don't be afraid to approach your daughter's doctor and explain it. It helps if you can keep a little notebook and write down the times that you see a problem and exactly what happens. For example, does she have more problems late in the afternoon...is the medicine not lasting long enough??? Or is it just in certain circumstances? Are there certain times or activities or even people that trigger bad outbursts or actions? The more you can document and figure out patterns, the easier it is to match a medication to the problem. My son cannot swallow capsules so I have had to deal with getting a medicine that was effective enough yet that he was able to put in ice cream or something to be able to swallow. Initially we had days where it would take hours just to get him to get his medicine down!! We have been through Ritalin (caused headaches and stomachaches), Strattera (did nothing for him and the taste was unbearably nasty), Vyvanse ( didn't work), Concerta (didn't work) and have been on Adderall XR for a few years now although we have had to increase the dosage. Don't let this discourage you...it's just a matter of finding what works for each child. It can be very discouraging but just keep in the back of your head that it is all for your daughter and that things will get better. One good thing you have is a husband to support you. And you two do need to work together for her good and for your own. I have had to do all this by myself because my husband (now ex-husband) was too interested in other things to help. Now, the social aspect....that's a HARD one. As mothers we always want to help our kids, to make it easier, to "rescue" them. But we have to face it, sometimes we just can't. It's great that your daughter is in sports. See if you can find just one girl on the team that seems to get along with your daughter better than the others. See if you can encourage/foster/promote a friendship between her and your daughter. Your daughter may never have bunches of friends, my son has very few and that breaks my heart. But that's the way life is. I try to encourage him to invite his friend over and then if he does, I keep a close eye on what is going on. If what they are playing deteriorates and it looks like my son is approaching the outburst level, I step in and direct the action somewhere else. Yes, it does take a lot of extra time and energy but I truly think that it has helped my son. We are also lucky in that my nephew is the same age and in the same grade as my son; we live a few miles from them so I have always fostered and promoted that relationship. I recently called an acquaintance who has a son in my son's class. I know the boys talk and horse around together so I called her and asked if her son could invite my son over. She is aware of my son's ADHD and his history so she kinda understands his social difficulties. That's a bit tacky, I suppose, but you do what you have to do... I also have a daughter who is a year younger than my son (he is 11 and she is 10) and a son who is 8. They too, are often embarassed by their brother's actions and it is difficult for them. I sat them down a long time ago and we discussed what ADHD is all about and how it isn't something he WANTS to do. We talked about understanding and trying to help, not making fun, being supportive and stuff like that. It is still frustrating for them, but we just try to remember that the ADHD isn't something he does on purpose, it just is and we have to try to deal with it the best we can. One more thing and then I'll shut up. As he gets older, he does seem to be calming down and understanding more of the social cues that are around him. We still have some awful moments but overall it's better. When we have a bad day, I just make myself stop and think back at when a bad day was ALL DAY and then I'm pretty grateful for how far we have come!! Hang in there, as they say....it WILL get better. If you get a chance, let me know how it goes!

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I read every word. I do not know anyone who is struggling like I am. I work with a woman who's 1st round of med. worked great for her son and tomorrow we are going to start on her 3rd. It is so stressful! I feel useless, I see how great my girls are and I want to do everything to help them be the best they can be. I can even start to understand what my daughter must be going through. All of the med. she has tried has made her worse.

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hi, i havent been to the forum in about a year, which is stupid because i've been strugglin with my 8 ry old son. one thing to remember is that adhd kids are typically emotionally a lot younger than their 'normal' peers. and it seems to me as if those 'normal peers' can see the difference and are so cruel! i have been down that medication road, and seem fo have found a pretty good combination with vyvanse for the adhd, and respiridol for the impulse/anger control. as a survivor of abuse (both sexual and physical and verbal) i wonder if something happened to your dtr over christmas break? or perhaps she is feelin that there is something wrong with her. it's sooo important to boost their self esteem, especially in the beginning. to educate them about their condition. my son has extreme adhd and the way i explained it is that adhd sux, but meds can help us control our bodies so we dont get in trouble. good luck with your sweetie, jen

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We're going through the same thing with our son (7). We didn't want to go the whole med route either. First we went homeopathic/herbal/diet remedies, but they just didn't modify his aggression towards us and his impulsive behavior. We ended up choosing to go the med route after a year of that. He's since been on meds and counseling for 1-1/2 years; We STILL haven't found the right one for him yet, and the counseling seems like total joke! He's tried Concerta, Metadate CD, Vyvanse, Focalin XR, and Risperdal (for the aggression), along with all the "piggy back" short acting drugs. We usually don't end up using those because we never see any difference in behavior. We're finding that a med will work for 2 months or so, then it just stops working and he starts becoming erratic, aggressive, and emotional. It's really frustrating, because you just feel like you're the only one with a child like this. My son also seems to have a hard making close friends. When he is at school, he seems like a totally different person (sad, withdrawn, etc) that it really makes me sad to see him behave this way. He won't talk about his feelings either. I wish you good luck with your daughter. I'm sorry that you too are facing the same med merry-go-round, but on the other hand it's nice to know that we're not alone.

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Just to throw this out there - I don't know how your diagnoses were done but something to consider if stimulant meds aren't working is whether or not your kid truly has ADHD - or at least ADHD alone. Also diagnoses can change over time, so what was once true of how your kid's brain functions may possibly change as they mature. Bipolar for example can mimic ADHD - and some studies have shown that up to 90% of kids with bipolar also have ADHD - so it clearly doesn't have to be one or the other. But what they have also shown is that while changing the brain's dopamine uptake through stimulants works well if that is the problem (or a large component of it) - if what the brain actually needs is something else then dopamine isn't going to be your solution, in which case, I'd be concerned that ADHD wasn't the story - or at least wasn't the full story.

Please, if you're going through so many stimulants without finding good effects, ask your doctor to reevaluate the diagnosis. Your child - and you - deserve to know what's truly going on for them. To keep trying to treat something that that don't have is not a good solution. Pediatricians may not be the best equipped person to evaluate your kid - your insurance may offer you some mental health benefits that allow you to see a psychologist and have your child's condition evaluated more thoroughly. I can tell you are dedicated and caring and want the best for your child, you will find a way to work with this. Hang in there!

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I am wary of prescribing powerful narcotic stimulants for children whose brains are not fully mature. Adults, on the other hand, are another story.

It seems the pharmaceutical pipeline now reaches out from clinician offices into the halls of our education system.

Don K Potochny Author, "Dear Mary: My Life with ADHD"

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