Don't be so hard on yourself. You are in good company here and there are lots of parents who can relate to the challenges you face everyday. It sounds like you've done well by your son. And without meds for years . . .

ADHD Medication may help. But you should work closely with your son's doctor to get the medication and the right doses. And Side effects of ADHD meds vary from child to child. So it may take some trial and error at first.

Don't lose hope. Just keep being a great mom.

Good luck

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Hi Tash :) I'm new to this forum as well. When my son was in the second grade, I was being told he would not pass to the third grade. I got notes every day that he was spaced out, distracted, unorganized...ect. At home, he was beyond hyper, and was extremely impulsive. It was very, very hard to handle. At the beginning of third grade, he was diagnosed with ADHD, and I made the decision to give him medication. I had fought the idea of medication for a long time, and was very upset about it, however I wanted to do what was best for him. It made a HUGE difference for him. He loved his third grade year. He got straight A's on his report cards as well. His medication helped him tremendously. Now, I'm not saying medication is a fix all. My son has just started the sixth grade and this is the first year since he was in the second grade that we have had any problems at school, and I've been trying to figure out what I need to do to help him. We are currently having a very rough time of it. However, as far as medication goes, I am so glad I decided to do it. ADHD is a medical condition, and just like any other medical conditon, sometimes medication is needed. As far as football goes, this site has a wonderful article called "Best Summer Sports for ADHD Kids" about what sports work best for children with ADHD. Football is at the bottom of the list. A lot of children with ADHD have a very hard time with organized sports. I've learned the hard way. My son has played football and basketball....and does not want anything to do with it anymore. I think I may check out swimming or track for him this year. Anyway, take care, and know that your not alone. :) :) :)

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Thanks for your responses guys, it does make it feel better to know that other people understand what your going through, And to Anna with the sports thing, Football here in australia is rugby league, and he actually was really great with it last year, he was best and fairest and highest try scorer and it did help him alot with listening and working together in a team with his mates. So I think we will stick with that,

Im going to see our Dr next week to discuss our options and what is best for him, Hopefully if we do need medication it will only be small doses as I am still concerned about using meds but like you said it is a medical condition, I guess just all the negativity about putting your kids on meds with adhd puts me off a bit, and plus here in australia Drs have to explore all alternate routes before prescribing anything so maybe my dr will have some other ideas...

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Hi Tash, I just wanted to say good luck this week with the doctors. I'll keep your family in my prayers. Take care, and have a good day!

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Hi Tash, As others have said please do not rule out ADHD meds. Also please if you have not already get your son tested fully for ADHD and not just tested by the pediatrician. It is worth paying for the pschoeducational testing especial\l ywhen you are going for a 504 or IEP. What you are doing for him now is great as treatment for ADHD is a multimodial approach and medication is not only just the answer. Also try a therapist that works with ADHD clients as it helps to have an unbiased person for your son to express his feelings to. At his age is when school starts to get harder and the responsibilites are increased. Hopefully your are seeking a 504 or an IEP depending on his disabilities. Please seek the help of a educational consultant to help you advocate for your son when going for these plans. Also educate yourself about ADHD as much as possible so you can be the best advocate for your son. This is like a full time job on top of every thing else you have going on but the end result is worth it as it is an investment in your son and his future. Please visit CHADD's website www.chadd.org as I found it to be very helpful as well as the National Resource Center on AD|HD which has a link on CHADD's website. It's all free. There is information on how to advocate for you son in school. It sounds like he needs a lot of accommodations which are not happening right now and a parent teacher partnership would be very helpful for him. Keep up the good work and remember that applying consistent routines and plenty of love is what your child really wants from you.

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You are doing the right thing. My only advice is to go to have a full evaluation done on him and then find a pharmapsychiatrist to prescribe meds. Pediatricians really do not have the expertise (or the time) to work with you and give you the support you will need. I would also suggest finding a psychologist who specializes in the treatment of ADHD kids. Let me tell you from personal experience that strategies that work for most kids don't often work for ADHD kids. You are not alone. My son was also diagnosed at 5. And unlike many people I talk to we have had a difficult time finding the right medication for my son (they seem to lose their efficacy after a time or just don't really give him relief from his symptoms). We just started our fourth med, Adderall XR and he seems to be doing better at school, so we will see... He will need to learn strategies for success in life that come easy to other kids, but I feel that the medication gives him a fighting chance. But remember that even on medication, you will have your child in the morning and evening when medication hasn't taken effect yet or has worn off. I don't have to tell you that it is hard having an ADHD child, but the rewards are also beyond description. Be strong and stay the course and the rewards will come. ADHD is a medical condition and you child deserves a chance for some relief. This is not your fault and you can't parent your way out of ADHD.

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My son was diagnosed with ADHD in second grade. We of course faced what many other parents are saying, the teachers before had told us that he wouldn't pass 4th grade at the rate he was going. I FOUGHT the ADHD "label" and hated the idea of medication. BUT...we had an AWESOME 2nd grade teacher that worked with us every step of the way and we chose the medication route. My son's reading scores went from failing to off the chart within a matter of weeks. His numbers and letters (which he had been writing backwards - we had tested dyslexia as well) suddenly were correct. He is a true success story on the academic front because he truly went from struggling so hard, to being in the Gifted Program. He is now in 7th grade and thankfully academically things are still going well...and I attribute the biggest part of that to his meds. Even he realizes that he can't concentrate as well without them. HOWEVER, as another parent stated, the meds are not a cure all. We chose a few years back to not give him the meds on weekends or in the summer - that is time to be "free"! We still struggle with relationships, impulsivity, and other things...but I feel that over the years my son has "grown into" his ADHD. It has become a part of him. It is what makes him...well him. It is what sparks his creativity, what makes him so open and honest to a fault, makes him quick to laugh (and yes, quick to temper), but it is part of who he is. He will never outgrow it, but I feel somehow we have embraced it instead - which makes it easier to deal with. Boys are hard...period!! They are rough & tumble and rowdy to begin with, then you add in the ADHD and it can be overwhelming. But the meds help take the edge off and things do even out! Good luck!

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Hi,

My heart broke for you when I read that you thought you were a failure... absolutely not! This is a condition beyond our control as Mom's... please don't blame yourself. From what you wrote, it sounds like you are doing everything you can and you very clearly care about your Son. My Son is on Adderall XR and he's done well on it. Good luck, I know it's a very difficult decision, i struggled with the decision to medicate vs. not medicate too, but at the end of the day it seemd to be doing more harm to not medicate him. It came down to either do well in school or not.

All the best.

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You are not a failure. I used to feel the same, and still sometimes do. My son was diagnosed at age 4, but we did not medicate until he was almost 6. We have gone from Metadate and switched to Straterra, which was AWFUL! His impulses were worse than before he was diagnosed. We went back to the meds that work. You have to think of it like the other mom said, it's a medical condition. It's a misfiring in their brain, and when you get frustrated, just stop yourself and think how your child must feel. My son KNOWS when he's "not right" on a given day. They understand they are different and we as parents always want to do what's best for our kids. He has his ups and downs, but he understands and knows he NEEDS his meds to help him. Hang in there and remember to ask questions if you don't understand something. His pediatrician is ON TOP of things, but he also sees a psychiatrist and social worker. They need to learn alternative ways to help cope with their self control issues and social skills. Don't beat yourself up. Things will begin to work, it is just trial and error, which is the frustrating part.

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Hi,

I am not a parent of an ADHD child, but rather a school counselor that works with ADHD kids on a regular basis. You area great mom b/c are seeking answers, researching, and asking questions. These are the parents I love to work with. As other moms have posted, ADHD is a medical/neurological/mental health condition. If you thought your child was diabetic, would you have him tested? Would you seek medical treatment? If you answer yes, which I hope everyone would, then you need to do the same for ADHD. As with everything, there are many medications out there and you have to find the right one, just as if you were treating allergies or any other condition. Your dr. will work with you closely, and if not, find a different one. Not all pediatricians are wonderful at working with this condition. Seek out a good therapist trained in ADHD. They will have many wonderful ideas and suggestions to help you at home. And, always remember, as with everything, every growth spurt, hormone change, and other events, can trigger ADHD. Work closely with the school and keep his teacher informed about what you are doing. Especially when/if you start a medication, so they can let you know if it is helping. Most likely, he/she will notice right away if it's the right one, but he/she needs to be aware in case there is a side effect or reaction. GOOD LUCK.

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