Hi -- My daughter, who is not officially diagnosed with ADD but who has severe executive function problems and sensory issues, decided about 6 months ago that she would like to study for her Bat Mitzvah. She's almost 12!! (I'm Jewish but my husband isn't, so we never pushed anything). She started Hebrew school in the fall, and works with a tutor each week for one 45-minute session. This one-on-one tiime has been amazing for her -- she can recite more prayers than some of her classmates who have been taking Hebrew for 3 years already! I think that the individual attention has made a huge dfifference for her, not to mention the motivation to have a big party where she's the center of attention.

With that said, if you can afford a tutor (we pay 40/hour), I highly recommend it. Our synagogue recommended a wonderful woman who teaches at the local Hebrew Day School, and she keeps my daughter fascinated by throwing in history and anecdotes to break up the monotony of repeating the Hebrew over and over again. Really, my daughter doesn't even need to go to Hebrew School with this instruction, but she'd miss the social aspect of the process (and our synagogue requires attendance....).

In addition, I'd see if he could get alot of practice reading Hebrew while standing on the Bimah -- just to desensitize him to any distractions from lights, etc, as well as to any nervousness he might experience standing in front of the congregation. Our Synagogue has the B'nai Mitzvahs all take turns saying prayers at actual services, all in preparation for their "big day." Maybe if your son started out doing this with a small group and work his way up to doing solos, this would help.

If you don't think that the leadership in your synagogue would be as helpful as mine was with a tutor, perhaps you could call any local Day Schools in your area to see if any of the teachers tutor and have experience with special needs kids.

Good luck!

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Hello - Our son has ADHD and will become a bar mitzvah in 2 months. He has been in religious school since he was in first grade, and he is gifted intelligence, but has a block against reading Hebrew - has convinced himself he can't do it. He likes Torah study and anything analytical, but not prayers, and definitely not reading Hebrew. His teachers have been hit or miss, but what we caught onto was that the teachers all expected the kids to learn their letters onlyin one way (flashcards), and he actually did better another (reading random passages - where there is some context, not just isolated letters) and when we finally figured that out and tried to get his teachers to understand he's done way better. We are not putting pressure, but this is a commitment, we gave him the choice, now he has to follow through. He has a tutor who is awesome, and is working with the Rabbi whom he loves. We have stressed to him it is not a performance - no one cares if you read flawlessly, or is counting the Hebrew to English ratio - in fact even without the service he becomes a bar mitavah when he turns 13, so this is just icing. We are all giving him lots of praise and attending classmates' services with him, which has inspired him as well. But he frankly did better one on one with learning his portion and prayers - no competition, and lots of positive reinformcement. I would look for a tutor and work with them and structure the service specifically to meet your child's potential and comfort. And I favor teaching abilities over Hebrew abilities - they need to know effective and motivating ways to teach, not just be exceptional in Hebrew. And remember a year is huge, DS is vastly different from where he was last year both in terms of his ADHD and his abilities. One other thing to consider is timing with school; we specifically chose summer so it would not overload him with having to do school projects and have his bar mitzvah at the same time since he does not handle stress well at all. Good luck!

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