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27 Year old son has ADD - and so do I
I am 53 years old and I have had untreated ADD my entire life. My 27 year old son definitely has it and after watching him struggle in school, drop out of college, and head down a dead-end path for 7 years, I'm finally trying to get him to go to counseling. He doesn't want to go. . . .
He is so talented - he's handsome, articulate, intelligent, well-read, a great writer, artist, etc., etc. He could be anything/do anything but he has no direction, no organization, etc. I'm not the only one impressed by all of his talents so it's not just my being biased - he's always been talented. He was in the gifted programs in grade school and junior high. He dropped out of high school and attended a top art school where he became addicted to online video games and literally lived online playing and drinking beer. So he failed and dropped out. He drinks way too much beer - 6 pack + each night - and smokes at least a pack of cigarettes a day. He has NO self-confidence, is depressed, insecure . . .I stayed with him for 3 months this past summer, paying his bills and helping him get into a new apartment, new job. I thought things were going well, but then he failed to pay his car insurance, hit another car, and couldn't get to work. . . well, he COULD have taken buses but even that was too hard for him to figure out. He's been waiting tables for years and did well at that but it just doesn't pay enough. He is a dreamer - he wants to write, make movies. He starts projects but never finishes them. I support his creative spirit but he's got to EAT. I don't know what to do to help - or to encourage him. I've been helping him financially to my detriment. . . and I can't keep doing it. But I cannot do what people tell me - to just let him figure it out on his own - because he doesn't understand what is wrong with him and I can't toss my child, who has an illness, to the dogs to sink or swim. He can't even figure out how to find a counselor. When I was with him last summer, his car overheated because he didn't know to put coolant in it - or just forgot. I'm not sure which it was. He would like for me to live near him to give him a sense of family, but I'm not willing to give up my life to do that. I'd appreciate ANY advice. I love this boy more than life itself and I have no idea how to help him. It tears me apart seeing him so miserable.
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