gymgyrl,

I wish I had some great advice to offer. Truth is, it was such a relief to see your post. I was diagnosed with ADD about seven years ago. After experimenting with meds, we found the right ones and I had a very productive, though very stressful, few years. Now it seems like the meds aren't working as well. I've gotten really behind at work and am feeling discouraged about it. It's hard to see how to catch up and I've been avoiding my responsibilities.

I'm with you on the structure piece, though. I'm working from home and I know that reduces my accountability. It's easier to not do what I'm supposed to. But it also reduces conflicts with colleagues, which is a relief.

I've talked to several coaches about maybe working with them. It seems like the coaches I've called have just talked for an hour or so about what ADD is like for them. That's interesting and I've learned some things, but it seems very expensive ($100+/hour) to listen to someone talk about their issues. It seems like it's more helpful to just read books and then I can read about the parts that apply to me, rather than read all the parts that kind of don't. And it's a lot less expensive.

I worked with a therapist for a while, which was helpful, but she didn't know much about ADD, so we didn't work on those issues. When I told her it was hard to get the house organized, she sternly told me to get it done. Since I have a running commentary in my head at all times telling me sternly what I have to get done, that wasn't especially helpful. She really is terrific. A great person and a great therapist, but having someone who really understands ADD would help a lot. I haven't been able to find a therapist in my area who specializes in adult ADD.

I don't know the answer to the things you are stuggling with, but I do know it made me feel better to see your post. It made me feel less alone. Maybe that is part of the answer. To connect with others who are having similar difficulties.

Has anyone else found they needed to switch meds after a while? I tried Adderal at first and it didn't help much, but Ritalin helped a lot. Huge difference in my focus, motivation, etc. I take breaks from it so I don't build up a tolerance, but it seems like I'm having a really hard time making myself do what needs to be done. Overwhelmed is definitely the right word.

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I'm late for an appt...:) so I can't talk but I feel like I just feel like I found a treasure. Stats: 40 yr old mom of (18, 15, and 5 year old) I'm college educated and have a husband who is my POLAR OPPOSITE ( he may leave me soon) and am soooo frustrated with attempts and failures to function in my life !!!! I'll be back ( now I'm really, really late) I got surfing because I had a few minutes to spare and now I'm late . Sound familiar?

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Acting upon issues involving money seem to be the common thread of what i shy away from dealing with, over and over through the years. I am at a fever pitch right now, my worry over money carries over to not wanting to deal with just about anything. I see a list of so many things and do not want to address anything. Mortgage payments, bills, lesson plans, visiting my father with picks disease, dealing with bag after bag of things I clip from newspapers and magazines, getting my son with ADD to get out to get a jo and to learn to drive, make doctor appointments, reimbursement for education expenses, housekeeping, odyssey of the mind recruitment, ask the bank about fees...it goes on. I am feeling so sad about my choices in life. I see my sisters jetting off to Europe and I cannot pay bills. I can physically feel the anxiety. I wake up in an anxiety attack and go to bed to escape my obligations. Overwhelmed...really, really overwhelmed!

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Medications can only help so much - It sounds like as long as you have some one structuring your activities you do okay but it is once you are out on your own that thing so haywire.

Have you considered a coach? They can help you learn how to structure your life and be a source of accountability.

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are there qualifications that I should look for? As Hawk said above, it seems like some don't have experience working with ADD.

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I would recommend a person who understands ADD/ADHD I have a friend who is so organized and kept me on point when I was manager. It always helped to have someone like this in our lives who understand that things we tend to have difficulty with ; is what we will try to advoid. I hate paper that has no place. I prefer books because they are all in one spot. I today shredded the things I already paid. I leave my bills on a clip board; but I rarely go back to them I have found I use very bright index cards and write things I must get done and check them off as I complete them . Tomorrow I have a interview so today I put everything I need and want to take with me into my bag I am taking , I am using sneaker to walk and already put my shoes in the bag. so I don't forget them . If it a must for jobs you have to do it...there isn't anyway around it. I use to also worked on a computer and had to keep schedules. I did this the very first thing in the AM and I would update my schedules right before leaving so I would always be on time. I had to do it my own. I did this job for over 3 years. to keep myself free of wandering I had music on at all times and I had wind chimes. I would take 3 breaks in the AM and in the Late afternoon I would get up and stretch ,walk so I felt fresher In the afternoon I would also watch the red tail hawk that would fly by my window at 3:45 pm then go back to my work. I pay my 16 yr old to clean my room . it much cheaper than a coach. My husband also will keep me on task if I refuse to do it; I am given a situation like everything thrown on bed so I have to do it if I want to sleep that night. So right now I have to clean my desk, of useless paper. That is one thing I hate about the internet. I had to download something for a homework assignmet, now that it is done all this wasted paer. I wish there was another way... Any suggestion about lose , useless paper I can't go back and forth to the sites because I use too much of the info.and it to hard to follow if on the screen. Thanks for any suggestions

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I am another story that is nearly identical to many others on this site - about to turn 35, was diagnosed last year, so less than 1 year for me. Still not on ADD meds, but I'm going to see what my doc can get me Fri. I can't afford a coach, personally. My husband and I run a family business out of our home, but it's never been a cash cow yet and with this economy things are really bad. We might loose our house kinda bad. What I have been doing to 'get motivated' and keep doing tasks are: 1.) Playing around with the times I get-up and/or go to bed. I work best by myself with no outside distractions. That includes my 3-year-old wanting mom. Since I can't afford daycare currently, that kills a large chunk of my day. I've re-arranged my day to compensate - like today, I went to some stores to pickup supplies after lunch, and now I can get some work done. She's napping, and when she wakes-up she can watch TV or something until bedtime. 2.) Experimenting with charts and lists. I know I do well having a list of tasks for the next day, but all efforts to get my husband to do it have failed, so I need to. Trouble is, I am typically ADD and everything is important! I've also made a chore chart for my daughter with basic things on it like getting dressed and brushing teeth. Trust me - that is just as much for me as it is for her! 3.) Exercise. Sometimes I really have to beat myself up to go, but it's always worth it. I feel so much better and I usually am thinking much clearer afterwards. (at least for a while) 4.) Make 1 goal a month to change a habit. My goal this month was washing my dishes every night and going to bed w/ a clean sink. That seems obvious to some people, but I would happily do something else until I was drop-dead tired and then just go to sleep! My work-related habit was making sure I entered customer info as soon as a lead came in so I wouldnt' forget about it.

My desk/office/home is always a mess. But every day I try, and thankfully hubby is still sticking by me! I have done well with the dish and entering info habits, btw. www.flylady.net is a good resource for information. At first glance it seems all house-related but some of it (like the timer idea I've seen here) is adaptable to work.

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gymgyrl said: Where to start.... well i'm kind of glad to be reading all of these stories and articles cause... whew... i'm not the only one. i was diagnosed with ADD at around 16. my mom at the time didn't "believe in it" and so we did nothing. i have a hearing impairment and alot of my issues were just considered to be related to the hearing impairment. i've always been messy and disorganized but i had great grades in high school with very little effort. off i go to college without any of the structure i had at home, the mess in my dorm, the partying, huge classes and no idea how to advocate for myself since my mom always did it for me.. well i'm sure you can guess what happened. the hearing impairment was an issue because i was missing so much. i couldn't stay focused esp cause i was missing so much and my grades TANKED. i met with a counselor at school and ADD came up again. she spoke with my mom. i saw a dr and started taking ritalin. the medication helped but i still had no idea how to like help myself on a day to day basis. sophmore year i'm pregnant (oh joy) and I come home and enroll in an online program. back at home my grades went up again and everything was written as a subsitute for lectures. my last two years i finish with a 3.5 gpa. then i go to law school at night and i'm working. I get let go after two years. I chalk it up to too much on my plate and i switch to full time program at school. i get fabulous grades.... 19th in my class, law review, great summer associate position (no offer). I look fabulous on paper. i'm smart, i like to work, i'm interested in new and exciting stuff...but "something happens" along the way. I start working at a firm and i'm there for two years. I'm living my life in 6 minute intervals and i can't make my billable hours. I know I had a ton of bad habits and i try my best to work through it. I'm bored after two years and i switch to a larger firm... one of the largest in the state and very prestigious. well its two years later and i've been laid off. Because i look great on paper and i have some great experiences, i was able to land another big job. I'm sitting here with my week off before I start the new place and wondering if i am even cut out for this and how long before i screw this up. I know i have weaknesses but I have alot of strengths too. I just have NO IDEA how to manage the weaknesses and its killing me. I can work well under pressure and if I'm kept busy i can be a work horse.... but once it slows i get lazy and tasks go unfinished. One comment in my review was that i care more about quantity of work than quality. is that really true.. no... but that is what happens. I am completely disorganized. I make lists and lose the list. before i go to sleep, i think about the tons of thing i have to do the next day... appointments, sporting events, things to mail, etc.... i wake up the next morning and forget most of it. i can remember things from years ago with incredible accuracy but i can't remember if i took my medication that morning.

my life is constant chaos. my house is a mess. when i was a kid my mom used to get irriated cause she would clean a room and want us out of it, but thats the room i wanted to be in... cause there was ORDER and i didn't see that piles of clutter that makes my head almost hurt (if that makes sense). i try to clean and it constantly gets away from me and i can't keep up. i'm a single mom to a 10 year old... my mom says he has "residual ADD" from me. my parenting is totally inconsistent. my parents live in another state and his father is not involved so i have no support system.

I'm trying to take a hard look at myself and change. Every relationship and job I've had lasts about two years on average. I get bored and dump the guys. after two years I either get laid off from jobs or find a new one (who knows... probably would have gotten laid off if i hadn't left first). i'm increditbly frusturated mostly because i have no idea how to help myself here. I don't know who to see or what to do on a day to day basis. to deal with this stuff. If anyone has any advice i would really, really, appreciate it.

My take on this? I think that your symptoms and weaknesses are definitely there - I KNOW they are there because I'm with you - but you're being very hard on yourself. It's really clear to me that you've carved out a very successful education and career, even with ADHD, and you should pat yourself on the back!! If you can afford it, hire a maid. I have one who comes in twice per week, cleans for 4 hrs each time, and essentially saves my life. I still have the clutter problem, but at least it's clean. It's worth it. I'm also a single mom with a 10 year old (boy with ADHD) and I'm in a doctorate program in psych. I know how stressful it can be. I really admire you for keeping it together. I have hired a private behavioral specialist who comes here once a month or every two months, so its not very expensive, and he acts like a parenting coach. It's effective and helps me out a lot. As parents, none of us are ever going to be perfect. We just do the best we can. If we are ADHDers, we're not going to be consistent all the time but I think the key is to be consistent as much as possible and give ourselves a pat on the back for doing the best we can. That's my opinion, in any case - in a nutshell, fire your inner critic and you might find you're less restless. :)

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gymgyrl said: are there qualifications that I should look for? As Hawk said above, it seems like some don't have experience working with ADD.

My "coach" (not officially called that but that's what he is) is a board certified behavioral specialist with a Ph.D. in clinical psych and a licensed MFT (marriage and family therapist). He's been working in the biz for 30 yrs and knows a lot about ADHD kids, had a lot of experience working with families. He is a GREAT coach and has served me very well. I think it's probable that someone less experienced wouldn't be quite as skilled or for that matter useful, so if you go this route, make sure he or she is an expert. I found mine by calling up a specialist at Stanford University and asking for a referral, so that worked out well. He's a parenting coach, no doubt about it, and a good one. I don't think life coaches can approach this kind of complexity. I would be surprised if they could.

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I appreciate the concern which is been rose. The things need to be sorted out because it’s not about the individual but it can be with everyone.

Michaelroger85

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go to addcoaching.com, they have coaches that I believe have all been through a training course, but you can find all levels of experience and pricing based on said experience. The first call is free and they are really dedicated to matching you up with the RIGHT coach, so you shouldn't have to pay until you find a good fit. First-time in-training coaches can still be helpful and some charge as little as $10 an hour. I hope this helps, I understand this struggle all too well.

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gymgyrl said: are there qualifications that I should look for? As Hawk said above, it seems like some don't have experience working with ADD.

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