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So Where to Now...and How?
Hi, I'm new to this whole online support environment so this feels a bit weird. I was diagnosed as "extremely" ADD/ADHD at the end of last year.
Having been on Ritalin for the last few months and already seen the difference in my professional life, it came as a massive relief. I had previously been diagnosed with acute reactive depression and later with borderline personality disorder as well. To find out that it was one illness that could be treated with one pill filled me with absolute joy!
The party is unfortunately crashing down around my ears - the other illnesses are still there. It was a hope of mine that being able to focus and achieve things would cause the others to just dissolve like sugar in coffee.
I also had an extremely disastrous romantic relationship (as you can imagine with that winning mental combination) at the end of November. Right now, all the Ritalin seems to be doing is making me more focused on how much I miss her, trying to figure out how I failed her, etc, etc; the usual long sad litany of a jilted lover.
I was also taken off the anti-psychotics for the BPD when I was put on Ritalin, and being focused on the more physically damaging aspects of this one is not a good thing.
I'm sorry - my group therapy was canceled at the last minute for tonight so I just want someone to tell me that it is going to be ok.
I know how much work their is ahead and how many lifestyle changes I need to make. Alcohol and drug abuse are also close friends of mine, but the really good news is that my drinking has moderated since taking the Ritalin! Hooray!
Anyway, on to the future - I know that dating is probably an extremely bad idea right now so I'm not rushing into anything but some practical advice would be really useful for when I do.
Here's the problem: I have all the usual social skills problems off ADD, the interrupting, finding conversation boring, etc. I am 33 - the coping mechanism I've developed is simply not to socialize.
I have developed a reputation as an extreme introvert so people don't invite me to things, I have recently moved to the area (the usual checkered career thing) so I don't know anyone and the town I live in is tiny so it's not like there's a host of social activities to attend.
Golf frustrates me no end, fishing makes me want to hurl myself into the lake with a lead weight around my feet from boredom and I do my drinking alone. That kind of covers the 3 main social activities here.
Even if one accepts the hypothesis that there was a social event and I could actually perform social intercourse (yes, go back and read it again to double check) successfully enough to get a date, what the hell would be the point? Truthfully admitting that you're not the most mentally and emotionally stable person ever is not exactly the way to a woman's heart; add to that a certain amount of scarring to explain from the BPD, plus the fact that I have no intention of breeding (with this amount of faulty genetic material I have absolutlely no right to father children) and I'm not exactly catch of the week.
Advice? Comments? Thoughts? Warnings about posting psychotic rants in the forums?
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