Amazingly, just writing all this out was cathartic in itself. I'm starting to feel better already. I still need to get back on meds, don't know how i'm going to do that just yet. I was feeling like checking myself into some rubber room somewhere, but I'm feeling a lot better already. I've started my list of "things to do" today, and am tackling some of the immediate stressors for today. Sometimes I just need to have a meltdown. This is such a great site, the resources here are incredible! I just need to put one foot in front of the other today.

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Frankly after p[aying my morthgage in february I will be so broke , No way to pay bills, food or anything frankly it hasn't been easy finding a job I'm never thought I should call after put in a resume and wonder. if anyone who can give me advice doo I call them after entering on-line resume and how many days do I wait..,I put 5 in last week it took them just on Monday to loook at it. Should I call Thursday or wait , or don't call at all. Does anyone know when and are they are responsible to give me servance pay since firing me. They tried to have me sign something that day and I refused... I would not agreee with her if I get 12 days and I used 10 how did I use too Much????>?I will have a union leader with me, I don't trust her and want to know would you find a lawyer or wait since I have no monies to pay him/her i

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valerian said: I've been receiving the email newsletters from this site for quite a while, have read through the articles, forwarded them to others and have gotten a lot of great advice from these articles. I am so beyond frustrated with myself it isn't even funny. I feel like everything is caving in on me. I lost my job in August, I was in foreclosure last year and finally got a loan modification by november, but of course, now i'm struggling every which way. I am on unemployment, I got a horrible review from my job before I was released about not being able to multi task (I was great as long as I was on one project at a time, but I totally spazzed when given too many things at once. It seems that my life works well when I can hire other people to do things for me. While i was working, I had a house keeper, I paid the lawyer to handle the foreclosure stuff, etc. Without a job now, I can barely afford to move and I'm repeatedly sabatoguing myself. I filed for disability but just got a letter that I was declined. I recognize that it was because I hadn't turned certain paperwork in, but I can't even find that papwerwok now, and they've told me I have to start the whole process over. My last therapist said I was a hoarder, in fact, I have 4 rooms in my house that have nothing but boxes in them. I have renters moving in, in March and I have to get my house in order. I haven't been on my meds in months, I was on focalin and welbutrin, as well as other antidepressants, lexapro, but now, I can't even afford to pay the mortgage, much less those things. I didn't get the paperwork in on time for the cobra, and I couldn't even afford it if I had gotten the paperwork in on time. I was supposed to go to vocational rehab for an appointment this morning, but I had gotten it confused and thought it was tomorrow. I called the lady and rescheduled, and she was really good, and walked me through everything I needed to do, in preparation for it, paperwork, blah!

I just feel like I'm falling apart. I can't afford to pay to even go to the therapist or for my meds and I was declined for disability and I'm just feeling like I don't know what to do. I don't know what needs to be done first. Go through all these boxes and throw crap away, try to find some type of public assistance for me to get on my meds again, I don't know. I've always been really stubborn and refused to ask for help, but I can't do this anymore. I could manage things (barely) when I would just hire someone else to do my crap for me. The housekeeper is supposed to come this Friday and I've got to find the money to pay her. I've been trying to keep her coming even though I've been on unemployment, because it's the only thing that keeps me even partly sane. The list of things i have to do to get my act together are hugely long and I don't even know where to start or where to find help.

Sorry to just come in here and dump, but I'm at my wits end and it feels like everything is caving in around me. Things were great when I could just hire someone else to do it for me. But with unemployment, I don't have that option any more. Good thing I like rice and beans. LOL.

I just don't know what to do (or rather, where to start).

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I have an appointment with my union rep and the VP of Nursing ; but frankly I don't have faith in this process. I feel I am right because I would not bring another child in until I stablized a baby who couldn't breathe well. However because I talked back; and no one will stand up to the -itch of a manager that for the exception of myself I look like I was wrong . I am wondering if they use the excuse of me using too much sick time ; and I haven't used it all ; but instead had worked allot of OT to cover her; and my human resource department didn't even get in touch with me; do they have to give me my job back ; but did pay out my vacation time. If someone fires you dosen't the HR department have to contact you . I am thinking telling I am ADHD and at times especially in July when my cat died and started on new meds I was having panic attacks. I could use advice on how to proceed because my husband is disabled without money comming in and I have a 16 year old I really need a job that pays comparasion to what my other job provided I think ANNI would be someone who can give me advice since she seems to have wealth of information that i have no idea where she finds it. However anyone with insight how I should to proceed would be helpful because I don't want to do what I would typically do like threateneing them ; and demanding that she be fired for turning my life upside down What should I bring; would you ask your friends and patients who really liked you to write letters on your behalf as well as alll the thing like Dr notes , paychecks , etc with me HELPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Please (Judi)

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